


Rise

by ServantOfMischief



Series: Rise, Fall, Then Rise Again [1]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Domestic Fluff, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Healing, Human AU, I'm not very good at it, I'm sorry already, Might be smut, Past Abuse, Rating May Change, Slice of Life, Tattoos, alternative universe, elope, supportive friends, yeah there will be smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-04-12 08:33:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 54,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19128385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ServantOfMischief/pseuds/ServantOfMischief
Summary: Rei didn't deserve what happened to her, and her friends won't let her go through this any longer. They love her far too much and won't let her break, and are vicious enough to take on the darkness haunting her.I do not consent to my work being reposted, or used in any unofficial apps like Fanfic Pocket Archive Library (Unofficial) or the like!





	1. Run

**Author's Note:**

> My first original TG Human AU. Let's see how this goes!
> 
>  
> 
> I do not consent to my work being reposted, or used in any unofficial apps like Fanfic Pocket Archive Library (Unofficial) or the like!

Everyone except Rei are orphans. Renji lost everyone but his older sister when he was young, Itori had been found outside a run-down church and Uta is a product of a terribly planned teenage pregnancy and left in his grandmother’s living room without as much as a note to explain the entire situation. They all live close by each other, went to the same playgrounds, got to know each other, attended the same schools and grew into a tight group of four friends. Rei doesn’t have a mother, she passed away after a difficult childbirth, but she did have a father.

 

Though he had been killed in a shooting in Shinjuku a year ago. Rei never quite recovered from that experience, and her dark hair had turned white and that incident led to a whole new set of problems that brought the girl near to the breaking point.

 

But her friends won’t let her break that easily.

 

Uta is at the train station, two huge bags by his feet and a heavy backpack strapped to his back. He’s dressed in ripped jeans, a coat which is far too big for him and combat boots. He’s hidden his eyes behind big shades, but he knows Rei will recognize him anyways when she arrives. His bright bleached blonde hair is a dead give-away amongst the dull colours in the station. In his hands he is cradling two tickets to a train that will take them away from Tokyo. He glances at the clock and frowns. Ten minutes until the train departs, and Rei is nowhere to be seen. He contemplates about calling her but discards the thought quickly. Rei had explained that she had to sneak out and he’d rather not alarm her uncle to their plan by calling her. He is becoming slightly worried though, because it is far past their agreed upon meeting time.

 

He sighs and glances at the tickets in his hands. He remembers when he found out about the uncle that had stepped up to become Rei’s guardian after her father’s death, the man who had moved into her house, so she could stay there and continue to attend the same school until she graduated. A man Rei can’t ever remember. At first none of them thought anything was wrong, but then Itori noticed a few minute changes that made her think a bit, and Uta witnessed Rei nearly toppling over in pain when someone had barely touched her. That’s when he knew, and he confronted her. And after her confession a plan began to grow in his mind, which he included Itori and Renji in as well.

 

His brows furrow deeper at the thought. There’s no reason for him to jump onto the train if Rei doesn’t show up. He thinks to himself that he can’t be all that surprised if Rei doesn’t come. He has read that most domestic abuse victims don’t dare to even attempt at escaping their abusers. Rei, at least, had tried to put up a fight in the beginning, had tried to report it in to the police. She is just unlucky that her uncle had a man, if not more, within the police force in Tokyo. Uta is just a teenager still, barely a young adult who just graduated high school, there’s a limit to what he can do. All he can do is bring her away, help her escape the hell in which she currently lives in and hide her away, keep her safe. Itori and Renji will do the rest. They all passed their exams, as far as anyone else believes, they are all going to the universities they’ve applied to. Only Itori and Renji will do that. Uta hasn’t even told his grandmother that something is wrong or told her he is leaving. She’ll notice though, when he returns with the bags after suddenly just disappearing without giving notice. He can just imagine the lecture Tsumugi will drop on him if he returns. He should have told her, he knows this, he is all she has left, but he can’t bring himself to do so. It’s dangerous enough to do this on his own, it’s scary to think about what kind of trouble he’ll put his grandmother in if she knows what is going on. She’ll argue with him on it, say that there are other ways and he knows there are, but Rei can’t take much more. The other paths to her rescue will take too long. She’ll break before she’s free. And neither he, Renji nor Itori intend to let that happen.

 

Uta realizes that even though they have planned this little adventure for months, it is rushed. He would have come up with a better plan if Rei had caved in and begged for help earlier. She has been too strong for her own good, suffering for the better part of a year before she broke down on the back of his bicycle. As it is, the best he can do is help her hide until Renji and Itori has given the lawyer they’ve found enough information and helped secure enough proof to get the bastard locked away forever. Rei has, hopefully, already given them a lot of material which she had taken herself secretly in hopes of bringing the man down and far, far away from her until it had become too much.

 

Uta checks the clock one final time. Only two minutes are left until the train leaves. He’s lost count of how many sighs’ he has released the past few minutes alone but accepts that their plan has gone to shit.

 

Rei isn’t coming.

 

He shoves the tickets in his coat pocket and hauls the bags over his shoulders and turns towards the exits, feeling not annoyed or angry but… a little bit lost. What is he supposed to do to help his friend? How can he help her? If it has come to the point where Rei will no longer attempt at running away, to escape her abusive uncle, how will she be if an actual trial happens? Will she be able to fight?

 

A sudden shriek captures his attention and he looks up to see someone fall down the stairs and roll across the ground. It looks painful, and they seem disoriented as they rise up on all fours slowly, reaching for the glasses they had lost and shaking their head until they get their bearings back.

 

“Rei-san?” He mutters as the person scrambles to her feet and turns her head left and right hurriedly, eyes wide in panic, until they land on him. She rushes forward, stumbling in her haste and nearly topples them both over. Her cheek is swollen, he notes, and her glasses have a long crack in it.

 

“He’s right behind me!” She whimpers and Uta hears the train attendant call for the last of the passengers to hurry and board the train as it is ready to leave. He grabs her hand and yanks her along with him, jumping onto the train and finding them seats. He hides her behind the curtains in the window and throws their luggage onto the shelves above them. The train jolts and starts moving, and Uta dares a glance out the window only to see the man hunting his friend storm down the stairs into the station, looking around frantically. He appears to be absolutely livid, and Uta wonders how many bruises his friend would have blooming on her skin if the man had ever caught her. Rei whimpers and he sits down beside her, pulling her further back to hide her and turning her face away from the window. The man opens his mouth, but there’s no sound reaching the pair’s ears. He is being approached by workers on the station though and the last Uta sees is the man shoving them away violently.

 

“We can’t see him anymore.” Uta tells her and she clutches his jacket, breathing heavily and trembling terribly. She is terrified still, it’s obvious to anyone who’ll throw a glance at her with tears cascading down her cheeks as she fights to control her breathing. He soothingly brushes her hair as he continues to tell her that it is over, that they have finally escaped, that he knows what he is doing. And he does. He may have studied for his exams the last few months, but he’s made a lot of preparations for this escape as well. Well, as many as he had had the time to, at the very least.

 

“We got away.” Her trembling doesn’t stop, but she looks up at her friend and while he still sees terror in her jade eyes, he does catch a glimpse of something else, something he thinks is a spark of hope.

 

He tells himself that it is.


	2. Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rei enjoys this mundane life. Counting bruises isn't part of her morning-routine anymore

They have been situated in this tiny apartment for two months now. Rei is still startled to the point she nearly loses her glasses when Uta shuffles out of the bathroom in the mornings, hair long and black instead of blonde, sticking every which way. She is the one who coloured his hair back to its natural colour, but she is still surprised every morning. She hasn’t seen him with his original hair colour for years. The very first thing he did when he began high school was bleach his hair and pierce his tongue. Tsumugi had not been pleased. The school wasn’t very pleased either, but they never expelled him for some reason or another.

 

Their apartment has one bedroom, and the kitchen and living-room is one big room alone, the entry way hidden behind a small room divider. The bathroom is big though, with a tub, and Rei enjoys soaking in it every other night and they are even lucky enough to have a small cot which Rei uses to dry their laundry.

 

“Good morning, Uta-kun!” She chirps as he moves to fold his futon on the living room floor. Since there is only one bedroom, Uta has found himself a futon and sleeps in the living room, much to Rei’s chagrin. At first, she suggested they switch now and then, but he politely declined her offer no matter how many times she brought it up, so she gave up on it.

 

“Mornin’.” He replies, voice groggy with sleep. She can’t help but giggle at his incredible bed-hair, the little rats nest at the back of his head, which he futilely tries to untangle once he’s moved the futon away. Rei is more of a morning person than he is, so she’s the one who’s making breakfast each morning while he struggles to crawl out from beneath the covers. She finds endless amusement from his struggle. Or perhaps it is the normalcy of it all that cheers her up.

 

“It’s almost done.” She tells him as he flops into a chair by the kitchen table which is already set. He grunts in reply as he fills a cup with tea, hoping to wake up a bit. It doesn’t quite help, but when his roommate puts the rest of the breakfast on the table along with a cup of steaming hot coffee, he feels a bit better. Breakfast is a quick and silent affair and Uta’s mood brightens as he wakes up, thanks to the cup of coffee Rei made him. They clear the table together and clean the dishes before they leave for work. Uta has somehow managed to persuade the local tattoo artist to take him on as his apprentice on the side of being a waiter at a coffee shop when they moved to the little town, though Rei has no idea how he managed to do that, since he had done this before they ran away, and Rei’s found herself a small job at a clothing store not too far from the café. When they go to work, they leave together. If Uta’s shifts are over before hers, he waits for her to be done before he goes to pick her up, and if it is the other way around, Rei finds herself a small table at the café and waits for her roommate to be done.

 

She feels a whole lot safer when Uta’s around, than when she’s alone, even though she knows no one knows where they are. There is no way she can be traced to this place, especially not by the people she doesn’t want to find her.

 

“Where will you be today?” She asks as they walk down the streets, a fresh summer breeze catching their monochrome locks and tugging them up to flutter in the air.

 

“The tattoo parlour.” He answers.

 

“Will you be gone all day?” She wonders if she’ll have to walk back home on her own for the first time since they arrived here. It’s not like it’s a frightening thought, even though she feels unsafe, but it seems weird, as she is so used to them walking home together. They have done so since middle school. Uta glances her way, noticing how she grasps the strap of her purse and fiddles with it with thin, brittle fingers.

 

“No, I’ll probably be done before you. If you have a shopping list, hand it over.” He holds out his hand, knowing that she does indeed have a grocery list in her purse. Their cupboards and fridge are all almost empty and he saw her write a list the night before. She opens her purse and rummages through it and finds the crumpled note, handing it over to her friend, who raises a brow as he reads how much she’s written down.

 

“That’s a lot, Rei-san.” He comments, and she flushes a bright red, stammering something along the lines of her having procrastinated on the matter, but he moves in front of her and trots backwards after flicking her forehead. She yelps and glares at him, swiping after him but misses him as he skips backwards.

 

“I’ll manage.” Rei has taken on most of the household chores without being asked and Uta doesn’t fight her on it. It seems almost therapeutic for her, so he doesn’t dare take any task without asking her or alerting her.

 

“Is today a good day?” A code, asking how she feels, and if he’s allowed to play his role today.

 

“Yes.” Rei answers after some thought. She’s glad he asks, even if it for the tiniest, almost insignificant things. They stop outside the shop she works at and he tells her he’ll be there to pick her up once she’s done. Uta then glances towards the shop window before he grins mischievously at her.

 

“We’re being watched.” She’s about to turn to look too, but Uta kisses her forehead lightly before leaving her. They’ve given the locals the impression that they are boyfriend and girlfriend, lovers who eloped together and Rei isn’t entirely opposed to the idea for various reasons which she’ll keep to herself. They look nothing alike, so they can’t pass themselves off as siblings and apparently their landlord, an old lady named Akiyama, is a sucker for romance and found the entire elope-trope endlessly amusing and exciting, so the male milks their scenario for everything it is worth as long as Rei consents to it. Rei is used to Uta being close to her as they have been friends since they were very young, but having him kiss her, even so innocently as a peck to her forehead, embarrasses her. Especially when done in front of an audience. This is also why Uta does it, because the pink flush dusting her cheeks helps sell their story better.

 

And he finds it adorable. Rei is cute when she blushes.

 

“Good morning.” Kawaguchi Hitomi, her co-worker, greets her when she enters. She’s a couple of years older than Rei and she loves to tease the girl about her shyness when it comes to her relationship with Uta. The sly smile on her face tells Rei she’s in for it today as well and she mentally braces herself as she moves towards the backdoor.

 

“It never ceases to amaze me.” The bleached-blonde says airily, and Rei stops to look at her in confusion. That tone of voice is new, and the older woman also looks like she’s quite lost in thought, which is unusual in itself. Is Rei about to go one morning without being teased? Has hell frozen over?

 

“What doesn’t cease to amaze you, Kawaguchi-san?” She asks hesitantly, still cautious.

 

“How cute you two are when your boyfriend drops you off.” Hitomi squeals and Rei ducks into the backroom, face flaming red. Sometimes she wishes that Uta won’t put on a show, just so that she can escape the teasing and questions she’s often bombarded with during the day. She wonders if she should do something like that to Uta too, just for revenge, though she knows he will not be as easily flustered as she is. Honestly, she might just embarrass herself if she attempts at returning the favour.

 

The day passes quickly after she makes Hitomi stop her teasing and suddenly it’s time for their shifts to end. Rei grabs her jacket and purse and she and Hitomi chat on their way towards the door. There’s a knock on the window before they get that far though, and they both look up to see Uta with two big shopping bags in his hands. She really did procrastinate the matter for too long, didn’t she?

 

“Your knight-in-shining-armour, Yamagata-kun, is here.” Hitomi giggles and this is something Rei can’t argue about. He may not be her actual boyfriend or lover or any of what they play to be, but he is a knight, because even though it is not a permanent solution to her predicament, he did get her out of that house. And he set aside his dream to do so too. Suddenly she feels terrible. They have, or _Rei_ have at least, been living such a good easy life here, even though it has only been two short months. She’s been genuinely happy with waking up in the mornings without wondering how many bruises she can count on her body before the day’s end. Making breakfast each morning after tip-toing around Uta’s futon when she passes through the living room makes her remember her old life before her father died. The thought brings tears to her eyes and Rei hurries to the door, throwing a strangled “See you later” over her shoulder. Hitomi blinks, but her phone rings before she can ask and the girl is out the door before she can call out.

 

Uta is smiling at her when she exits the shop, the usual slight upwards curl of his lips that you have to look really hard for if you don’t know him well, but it fades when he sees her glistening eyes. He isn’t able to ask what is wrong before she barges straight into him, hands clenched by her side and face buried in his jacket, glasses most likely pressing uncomfortably against her face. With his hands still holding the bags he can’t exactly hug her or pull her away far enough to take a look at her. All he can do is crane his head to look down at her.

 

“What is it, Rei-san?” He asks but she shakes her head, refusing to answer. He glances inside the store to see if perhaps Rei’s co-worker can give him some insight to what is going on, but the woman has turned around from them and is talking on her phone. She is not useful in getting an answer from right now, and Rei probably doesn’t want to be seen like this either. He bends his knees and lowers the bags to the sidewalk carefully before he pulls her back to take a proper look at her face. No tears have spilled yet, but it’s obvious something is wrong. Instead of telling him why she just shakes her head again and tries to hold back a sob. She’s only halfway successful. He wonders if she’s having one of her moments, where she lapses back into horrible memories and can’t help but cry. It’s happened a few times after they came to this little town, but only when they’re at their apartment, thankfully.

 

“Come on. Let’s get you home.” He lifts the bags with one hand, ignoring how the heavy plastic is digging into the skin of his fingers, while he holding out his free hand for her to take, if she wants it. She latches onto him like he’s a lifeline, and he wonders what has happened to make her so distressed. She was just fine this morning, there was nothing that alerted him to her ever becoming so distressed throughout the day. She even said she was feeling fine, though there are many things that can trigger her. He leads her down the streets quickly and unlocks the door to their tiny apartment. He makes her sit on their worn couch as he empties the bags in the kitchen, putting away what needs to be put in the fridge and freezer, and once done, he sits beside her, noting that she has calmed down some. He is still wondering what could have caused her to nearly break into tears though.

 

“Are you alright?” He asks, but she shakes her head.

 

“I’m terrible.” She mutters, avoiding looking at him. She feels like the worst person on earth and she definitively doesn’t deserve a friend like Uta. She’s only causing trouble and problems, just like her uncle always said she did. She doesn’t deserve help, she doesn’t deserve friends, she should never have run away-

 

“What’s wrong?” She finally looks at him and he is sure he has never seen anyone look so sad and _guilty_ of all things for being upset, and the tears which had been drying up return with a vengeance and this time they do spill down her cheeks in a steady stream. He’s alarmed at the sight, but masks it well, beside the slight widening of his eyes. Rei isn’t even trying to stop the waterfall, but she can’t stand to look at him for too long either. Her eyes cast down to stare in her lap, watching her hands cling to each other to the point of her knuckles turning white. He doesn’t urge her to tell him anything, but he does wrestle her hands apart before she can hurt herself. She swallows and shuts her eyes tightly.

 

All Uta can do is wait for her to find her voice. Pushing her gives poor results now-a-days.

 

“I’m sorry.” She manages to utter after a while and he tilts his head questionably at her, blinking, trying to obtain some sort of eye-contact. He fails.

 

“For everything.” She chokes and he’s more confused than ever. “If it wasn’t for me, you’d be in Kyoto right now, studying art as you’ve always wanted. I’m so sorry I took that away from you.” He blinks owlishly at her, wondering where these thoughts come from, and why they suddenly hit her now, even after they had discussed this _before_ they ran away. They’re not going to stay in this little town forever, Itori and Renji are all working on getting them back on track while he hides her away here. She knows this.

 

“Rei-san, what brought this about?” She sniffs and a sound a mix between a laugh and a sob escapes her. She breathes in deep to try and calm herself, but she’s in such low spirits it’s not easy. Uta waits patiently though, and she needs to answer. Because she owes it to him to tell him everything he wants to know, that is what she thinks.

 

“I-it’s silly, b-but Kawaguchi-san said, or joked about, you b-being my knight in shining armour a-and she couldn’t have hit the nail more acc-accurately even if she had tried.”  She hiccups, though this isn’t much of an answer as to why she is so upset, not to Uta. It just confuses him more. Why would a joke like that upset her this much?

 

“I don’t understand.” He says slowly, thin brows knitting together.

 

“Because you _are_ my knight. You got me out of that _house_ ,” she can’t quite hide the contempt and fear in her voice, “but you’ve lost a whole year, if not more. You got accepted at the university of Arts in Kyoto, but instead of being there and studying, you’re here, working in a café… That’s not what you wanted-“ He holds a hand up, cutting her off. She’s rambling now, and they already talked about this before they jumped onto that train. Does she not remember that?

 

“A dark knight at best.” He jokes, but she still looks so sad, so he moves his hand to flick her forehead. She reels back, cradling the offended area, looking so affronted he can’t help but let a quiet laugh escape him before he smiles at her and shakes his head.

 

“Rei-san, you expressed those worries before we left, and we thoroughly discussed it. You were accepted into MODE in Tokyo too, but here we are. You sacrificed something too to escape. Besides, I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to help you, or if it was too much trouble. I can study whenever I want, but I’ll probably only have one shot at helping you.” The implications are out there, she can hear them loud and clear. It is a scary thought.

 

“That’s dark.” She pouts, and he shrugs.

 

“And it might be true too. We didn’t want to take that chance.” Her shoulders sag and she smiles ruefully at him before moving to sit properly, removing her glasses, drying her eyes and wiping her cheeks. Her eyes are red and puffy, but she’s stopped crying and has composed herself somewhat, a wobbly smile resting on her lips. The self-esteem she used to possess have been thoroughly crushed by her uncle, in less than a year, but Uta is doing his best to help build it up again. It will take time, but Rei needs to understand that she is worth saving, she needs to keep believing that she is worth saving, or else she might fall back into the life she’s running away from.

 

“Do you want to do it?” He asks and she bites her lower lip uncertainly. This time he does put a bit of pressure on her, just a little bit. One push, but nothing more. He won’t pressure her too much, that can have the opposite effect of what he wants.

 

“I think we need to do it, okay? Just a quick one.” She hesitates, before she nods and takes a deep breath, fisting her hands in her lap, voice wobbly, quiet, as she speaks.

 

“I’m worth saving.” He nods when she looks at him again and tilts his head, silently urging her to continue.

 

“I am worth saving.” She repeats a little bit louder. “I am worth saving, and I didn’t deserve what happened to me.”

 

“Again.” Uta tells her and she repeats the words again and again, until she exhales and the tears have completely dried up. She’s done, and she feels a little bit better, and hungry.

 

“Do you want me to prepare dinner?” He falls back on the couch at her sudden question and nods. He is a bit hungry too, and if she feels better, then he isn’t going to stop her from doing something that helps her get through the day. Household chores takes her mind off of the bad things and makes her remember the good things. She needs a bit of that now, he thinks.

 

“I bought what we need for curry.” He tells her as she leaves the couch and finds her apron.

 

“Curry? That wasn’t on the list.” She says as she pulls out the kitchenware.

 

“I was allowed to do a job today.” Her head snaps up and she stares speechlessly at her roommate, who grins proudly.

 

“You mean-?”

 

“My first time tattooing a customer.” He shows her a peace-sign with his fingers, appearing very proud, and she squeals.

 

“Oh wow! Congratulations!” She drops the items in her hands and jumps onto the couch again, shaking him vigorously. The room spins a bit for him, he must admit.

 

“What did you tattoo?” She asks excitedly, pulling back enough for him to answer.

 

“Just a floral design.”

 

“ _Just a floral design,_ he says.” She mimics and rolls her eyes, but grin at him nonetheless. She goes back to the kitchen in a hurry, grabbing what she needs for making the best celebratory curry Uta’s ever tasted.

 

“We’ve got to celebrate then! Go take a bath while I make the food!” He has learned not to argue with Rei when she’s in such a mood and just does as told. She’s used to be the one in charge in the home and he’s not about to take that away. Two short months, but they’ve become so domestic and have slid right into the town without trouble, and it is almost like they’ve always been there. He fills the tub with water as he undresses, checking the temperature to make sure it’s not too hot. Once the tub is filled he sinks in and relaxes. He can hear through the door how Rei’s humming in the kitchen and the sound of her cutting vegetables and the clanks of saucepans. He sinks deeper under the water until his chin is slightly dipping beneath the surface. The tips of his dark hair float around him like a black halo. It’s become so long it’s no longer easy to keep it out of his face with a simple hairband, he has to tie it back with a hair tie now. He’ll have to change his appearance a bit more for his next little trip. It is still at least a month away, but he won’t take any chances.

 

His current employers have both approved of his request for scleral tattooing, so in a few days he would have black sclera instead of white. He is a bit nervous to be honest. The tattoo around his neck had been a bit painful after the procedure was done, the mandala’s on his hands had been annoying at best, the one on his chest throbbing and sensitive, and his tattoo teacher had told him the scleral tattoo would be, well, there will be a lot of discomfort. He must have drifted off, because suddenly Rei is knocking on the door and telling him she’s almost done.

 

“I’ll be right there.” He answers and dips under to wet his hair properly, then lathering the shampoo into the ebony coloured locks and pulls out the plug before grabbing the showerhead to properly rinse the soap out. When he emerges with a towel wrapped around his neck and towel-dried hair, Rei has set the table and is waiting for him.

 

“Smells good.” He says, and she beams at him.


	3. Risk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's risky, but also so rewarding. Also, high heels are terrible to run in, I guess

He still hasn’t told her about the scleral tattoo he’s about to receive, and he wonders what kind of expression she will wear when he shows her after he’s done. They walk together down the streets, as she has an appointment at the local hairdresser, and he has this appointment with his current boss. The summer breeze is warm, and they walk hand in hand, Rei swinging their arms more than is actually necessary with a giggle. He can’t blame her for her excitement, as he has promised her that she’ll hear from either Renji or Itori soon and that the final preparations for that daring little venture back to Tokyo will be done today. She misses them both terribly and even though she enjoys being in this little town, Rei also wants everything to be over, so she can go back to living her life without looking over her shoulders.

 

So that she can be with her friends without a care in the world.

 

When they stop outside the tattoo parlour, Rei promises him she’ll be back by the time he’s done with whatever design he’s going to have inked into his skin. Uta doubts it, but he’ll probably not be moving anytime soon after the procedure anyway, so he doesn’t argue with her on it.

 

“We’ve got an audience.” She says and Uta turns his head, looking into the window and seeing his boss and another tattoo artist looking at them. Waiting for him, most likely. Then there are lips on his cheek and he blinks, turning back towards Rei as she pulls back, grinning at him as he lays a hand against the area.

 

“See you later.” She chirps and promptly turns on her heels, skipping away. She has taken him by surprise. She’s never initiated anything more intimate than a hug while out in public, so he’s been caught off-guard by her action. Well, at least she’s playing her role well, and if she felt comfortable enough to do this, then she must be feeling pretty well. Too bad she hadn’t blushed though, she is adorable when a rosy hue dusts her cheeks. A thought which has popped up in his mind a lot after they came here.

 

 _‘I should probably do something about that.’_ He thinks as he enters the tattoo parlour.

 

“The missus seeing you off, huh?” His boss chuckles.

 

“Well, she was heading in the same direction anyway.” Uta shrugs off his leather jacket.

 

“Let’s do it then. You ready?”

 

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” The raven-haired follows his boss to lay down in a chair behind a curtain. This isn’t going to be comfortable at all, he thinks as he steels himself. Having the needles trace shapes across his skin had been interesting to watch, but seeing the needle coming close to his eye is a whole different experience all-together.

 

Rei on the other hand is having a blast. The moment she entered the hairdressing saloon the owner, a man by the name Daisuke, had grabbed her hands and kissed both her cheeks, exclaiming how happy he is to see her again.

 

“I do so love your unusual hair.” He says, brushing his hands through it once he has seated her in a chair. Rei just smiles and tries to avoid thinking about the reason her former dark hair turned white in the first place. Daisuke doesn’t know, and she will not burden him with the truth. Instead she lets him play with the white strands and adore her. She likes Daisuke, he makes her feel precious.

 

“So, what do you want today, darling?”

 

“A bob.” Daisuke gasps dramatically, reeling backwards. She has only ever had her ends trimmed, to tell him to cut it all off is absurd and he voices his opinion in the form of one word.

 

“No!”

 

“Yes.” He gathers her hair in his hands and lets it cascade down her front as he gestures wildly.

 

“But it is so long and beautiful!” She turns her head and smiles sweetly, trying not to laugh at how he seems so mournful. After all, it is just hair.

 

“Which is why I entrust my hair to you, Daisuke-san. You’ll make sure it is still pretty, even though it’s short. It’ll grow out again if I want it to, but I want to try something new. I haven’t had short hair since I was in the first grade. Please, Daisuke-san?” The man sighs, looking well and truly like a grieving widow tasked with the greatest burden, but he nods nonetheless and moves to fetch his equipment. She asks him about the various ways he can do it and what scissors or machine he’d use as he sets it all up.

 

“You’re quite knowledgeable, Rei-chan.” He praises and she grins proudly.

 

“I wanted to study at MODE in Tokyo, so I did some research while in high school. I had a friend who let me cut and play with her hair all the time.”

 

“Hm? But you just finished high school before coming here, didn’t you?” Her smile wanes and he notice the dimming light in her eyes.

 

“Some… I had a falling out with my family, so me and Uta-kun kind of eloped.” Daisuke leans down, pausing his work with the scissors. She knows by now that the man _loves_ to gossip, and like their landlady, he is a sucker for sappy rom-coms. Their sad little made-up story is the greatest piece of gossip the two has ever come across. Rei feeds their little addiction carefully, making sure not to let slip anything that can be dangerous. She feels kind of bad for it, but at the same time she is as truthful as she dares to be. And they are the ones asking, after all.

 

“Did they disapprove of Uta-san?” She can practically see him shaking with barely contained excitement in the mirror. And it is amusing, because inquiry is not the reason she ran away.

 

“No, we are childhood friends. Dad knows him, approves of him, it’s not about that. I may never be able to go back to Tokyo though, so I guess I’ll never attend MODE, never actually become a hairstylist.” Daisuke tuts behind her and moves his trolley to her side, asking her to describe and name his equipment. She does as told, stumbling a few times. He doesn’t say much as he continues to cut at her hair and she wonders what he is thinking.

 

“Long or short bob?” He finally asks when he’s cut away a considerable amount. She considers it for a moment but decides that she can cut it rather short. He does as asked, cutting the edges to run alongside her jaw before using a hair trimmer to trim the hairs at the back of her neck to smooth the edges out. Once done and he deems it good, he uses the hairdryer to blow away any excess hair clinging to her. He combs through it, straightens it out properly and smiles at her reflection.

 

“What do you think?” He asks as he grabs a hand mirror and holds it behind her so she can see her new hairstyle all the way around. She beams at her reflection, turning her head left and right so she can see properly. She hasn’t had so short a haircut since grade school. Back then she had looked cute with it, now she feels like-

 

“You look like a proper woman now, darling. A fine woman. That boyfriend of yours won’t be able to keep his hands off of you and he’ll have to fight other men away.” The statement is utterly ridiculous, almost making her laugh.

 

“You are, by far, overestimating my looks, Daisuke-san.” Rei smiles nervously at the older man. Since the day she met him he has complimented her. At first she had thought he was flirting with her and the thought made her a bit uncomfortable, but then she realized he has no interest in women, and the awkwardness melted away instantly. She welcomes his compliments but does think he is being far too nice to her even so. Then again, Itori always said things like these too. She misses the redhead, she wants to go back. She so desperately wants to see her friend again, to have someone to talk to again. It’s not like Uta is a neglecting conversation partner, but there are things only Rei and Itori has shared amongst themselves, and she wants to just be with her friend again and just… _talk_. About everything and nothing.

 

“You’re absolutely mesmerizing, my dear.” Daisuke grins and pulls the cape off of her with a flourish. Rei glances down at the floor and is amazed at the sheer amount of hair that has fallen. Daisuke laughs at her expression before he leads her over to the cash-register, so she can pay. She spends another few minutes just doing some small-talk with the man before she leaves to go pick up her friend, with an offer from the hairstylist.

 

When she enters the tattoo parlour, she frowns at the sight of Uta wearing sunglasses. The weather has turned cloudy, the sun is hidden away, why is he wearing shades?

 

“Oh, the lad is being picked up too.” Someone whistles in the back of the parlour, but both youths ignore them.

 

“Your hair looks nice.” Uta comments quietly and reaches out to let his fingers brush through the newly cut edges.

 

“Thank you.” She doesn’t blush at the contact, just smiles and Uta thinks that the new hairstyle suits her well. Without that long thick mane, she looks lighter, fresher, free, happier even, like a weight has been lifted from her shoulders. She is like a completely different person. He likes it. Makes her seem healthier, despite her twig-like wrists and slightly noticeable aspects that might betray anything that happened in the past and how she feels now.

 

“What did you get, Uta-kun?” The raven-haired male purse his lips. He wonders how she’ll react to his newly inked eyes. He wonders if he’ll be able to startle her. He leans down, noses nearly touching. To her credit she isn’t drawing away, even if his breath is slightly fogging her glasses.

 

“You want to see?”

 

“Yes.” He lifts the sunglasses and she stares. Not a sound escapes her, nor does her eyes widen. She blinks before squinting, one hand reaching out towards him, but not actually touching him, just hovering over his skin.

 

“You’ve got bruises around your eyes.” She observes.

 

“Ah?” It is not the reaction he expects and he’s slightly disappointed as Rei peeks around him. He had expected a gasp, to see her eyes widen in shock and gape at him stupidly, anything over-the-top that would have garnered a laugh from him and help him ignore the throbbing. Something that would have made him laugh at her surprise, anything.

 

“Is there anything we need to know? Complications or anything?” She asks the tattoo artist who shakes his head with a reassuring smile.

 

“Nah. Just make sure he’s got his eyes covered for a while. Bruises and discomfort are normal.”

 

“Thank you for looking after him.” Rei bows before she puts Uta’s shades back on and pulls him out of the shop with her.

 

“She’s way too cute for him.” The other apprentice mutters when the door closes behind them, crossing his arms and pouting over his sketchbook.

 

“And you’re way too jealous, Tate. Find yourself a girlfriend of your own and get over your crush.” The owner chuckles and the other artist blushes darkly.

 

“You’re not surprised I inked my eyes?” Uta questions and she gazes up at him, barely spotting the black sclera behind the shades, but she can see the forming bruises easily. She wonders how bad they’ll be, and if it’ll appear like he got two black eyes for a while. She can picture him in the café, and people staring at him, like a pale raccoon walking around. She almost laughs at the mental image.

 

“Of course I was. It suits you though, somehow.”

 

“Thanks?” He raises a brow at the curiously phrased compliment.

 

“Does the manager at the café know about this though? Is he okay with this?” She asks. She thinks the manager at Uta’s other job is already very understanding with the other tattoos and piercings Uta has on his body, because most of them are hidden beneath his shirt, but to tattoo the eyes… She hopes he asked the man first. Uta assures her that he did ask first, and that the manager have been very understanding.

 

“Daisuke-san gave me an offer today.” She remembers.

 

“Oh? He’s not trying to steal you away from me, is he?” She shoves him and rolls her eyes at him.

 

“No, you moron. As if I’d ever leave you.”

 

“Aw, that’s so sweet, Rei-san.” Uta claps his hands together in an overly dramatic fashion but the girl ignores it and proceeds to tell him what the offer from the hairstylist.

 

“He offered to tutor me.”

 

“Oh? That’s great, isn’t it?” She smiles. Yes, yes, it is great.

 

“Ah, by the way, Rei-san, you mind fixing my hair too?”

 

“Hm? What do you want now?”

 

“Shave it.” Her jaw nearly drops to the floor.

 

“Excuse me, what?” He explains a bit more when they return to the apartment and she nods. She puts the upper layers of his hair up in a bun at the top and begins to carefully chip away at the length beneath. Once done he barely recognizes himself, and that is what he is aiming for anyway. If he can’t, then no one else can either. Especially not Rei’s uncle.

 

One week later he finds himself on a train to Tokyo. Rei is left in their little apartment, nervous and probably clutching onto her phone, anxiously waiting for any information from him. She’ll have to wait a bit longer, because he’s not going to call before he’s met with his companions and is safely on his way back.

 

He goes to the old playground near Itori’s home. He hopes he’s being clever, that Rei’s uncle or the police doesn’t believe he’s got the guts to walk around so close to one of the closest friends to the runaway. He knows from the news that Rei’s guardian has been hounding Itori and Renji, and just about anyone who knew the girl. He also knows that the man accused his grandmother for having aided whoever “kidnapped Rei”. The old lady had not taken well to those accusations, according to the news anchor. The man never saw the old lady come at him with her cane. That video-clip still circulates the internet with an incredible amount of views and likes. He stifles a chuckle as he takes a seat on a bench, waiting for either Itori or Renji to appear. He wonders if they will recognize him. All he had said in the notes he left in both their mailboxes only revealed the location and that he has returned his hair colour to its original colour. Even that had seemed a bit too much, but now it is done.

 

He leans back, shoves his hands into the pockets of his hoodie and crosses his feet. At least the way he sits can tip the other two off, even if the sunglasses and beanie conceal his features. There’s a lot of people on the playground, many families, and he thinks back on when they all were children, not knowing much about the world outside their tiny little bubbles, when everything was fine, and everyone were happy.

 

When they were all naïve.

 

“May I sit?” He glances up, sees Itori, and inclines his head. He wonders if she’s realized. She looks different than he remembers. Her eyes aren’t wide and alight with mischief as he remembers them being. They’re more subdued now, cautious, even her lips are set in a thin line. She looks a bit tired, in all honesty.

 

“I used to come here often as a kid, with my friends.” She tells him, looking wistful as she looks out over the playground. That is the cue. She is making sure it is him.

 

“What a coincidence,” he says and she glances his way, recognition in her peach-coloured orbs the moment she hears his voice, and he finds solace in the fact that her eyes light up a bit, that she seems a bit happier too. “So did I.”

 

“No more then?”

 

“Hm, no. I moved away recently.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yes, with a friend. She wanted to escape Tokyo for a little while.” He says, head lolling backwards.

 

“How’s that going?” Itori asks, crossing her legs.

 

“She misses the city, wants to come back because all her friends are here, but otherwise she’s okay.” The ginger smiles softly.

 

“I have a friend who left Tokyo too. We miss her and hope she’ll come back soon. Her guardian reported it to the police as a kidnapping case, but all her friends know better.” Uta fights the snort rising in his throat and pulls out his phone, makes a show of dialling a number and puts the phone up to his ear. Itori does the same and they turn slightly away from each other but continues to speak quietly to each other.

 

“Is she okay, U-chan?”

 

“As okay as can be, given the situation.” He answers. “How are things on this end?”

 

“The man is completely psycho, he threatened Tsumugi-san.” Uta tenses but masks it quickly.

 

“But she’s fine, somewhat.”

 

“Somewhat?” Now he is worried, because his grandmother is all he has left, and he didn’t tell her anything just to be able to keep her out of harms’ way, but it seems like that sorry excuse of a human being who claims to be Rei’s uncle has no shame when it comes to his attempts at getting Rei back.

 

“She’s worried about you, U-chan. Rei-chan too, but mostly you. She’s afraid you won’t come back, or that you’ve walked straight into a situation which won’t end well for you.” He is seized by the sudden urge to call his grandmother and tell her he’s okay, that he knows what he’s doing, that she doesn’t have to worry about him, but he can’t, because that will compromise everything. He didn’t go and buy new cell phones for him and Rei which can’t be traced just to risk it all by calling his grandmother. He’ll have to rely on Itori and Renji for this next step of his.

 

“We’re all under watch, and I’m sorry to say, the bastard does have someone in the police force. They tried to arrest Ren-chan right after your disappearance because they thought he was in on it. All we know though, is that Rei-chan was abused by her guardian, and we were thrown out immediately when we told the police so. They tried to keep me from getting to the lawyer office several times, even tried to confiscate all of Rei-chan’s vlogs and x-rays. They took my locker key.” This time Uta can’t quite hide the concern he feels, but then Itori speaks again, and he can hear the smile in her voice.

 

“Too bad for the morons that I’d already forwarded all the information to said lawyer after taking copies, and the key they took only led to a locker with several pairs of old lady underwear in several sizes. No more interruptions happened after that.”  Uta disguises his laughter as a cough, wondering why old ladies’ underwear is what she stored in the lockers to screw with their opponents, and ends the call, putting his phone in his pocket again, turning back to sit straight on the bench. Itori continues to keep up the pretence of being on the phone for a while longer, and discreetly slips a letter into one of his many pant-pockets before she ends her call as well.

 

“If you haven’t already, tell her everything, yeah?” Uta murmurs, pulling his feet beneath him as he moves to get up, but Itori cuts him off.

 

“Wait a little longer. I have an appointment.” Itori whispers and Uta slouches in his seat. Only minutes later does the redhead jump up on her feet and Uta wonders if it is Renji who’s coming, but it’s not. Itori whispers her final words to him as said person enters the playground.

 

“Tell Rei-chan we miss her, okay?” Tsumugi comes wandering into the playground. She looks much older, he thinks, and Uta can’t remember her back being so hunched before he left as it is now. Her hair is much greyer now than when he left too, because he is sure there had been some brown in there a few months ago. He feels guilt and can’t stand to watch anymore. He gets up and moves towards the train station in the ward. He’s leaving a bit earlier than planned, but that might be for the best. Rei is most likely very worried and wants to know if everything is okay and he’s got nothing else to do. He’s got a letter from Itori, has been briefed on how things are at home and now all he needs to do is go back and continue to make sure they’re not found.

 

The call-system announces that his train is right around the corner and that the passengers should get ready for boarding. He moves towards the line but stops when someone tugs on him. He turns around and is glad he’s wearing his sunglasses because he can’t quite stop the widening of his eyes.

 

“Uta?” Tsumugi croaks and he blinks. There is absolutely no way she can recognize him, he’s done too much to alter his appearance, not even Itori had properly recognized him before he spoke. He warps his voice the best he can, sounding a bit rough around the edges, hoping to throw her off.

 

“Sorry, what?” The old lady blinks, slowly easing her grip on him. He almost wants to grab hold of her instead, but squashes the urge.

 

“Do I remind you of someone, old lady?” Again, he speaks in a manner unlike the polite way she had raised him to speak and it confuses her, he can see it. He just hopes she’ll bite.

 

“Take off your sunglasses.” She demands and he does so, slowly.

 

“That’s rude.” He says, blinking black and red eyes at her owlishly and her eyes widen at the sight. He hopes that his scleral tattoo and piercings will have her let go of him in surprise, long enough for him to jump onto the train which is right around the corner- scratch that, there it is, Uta thinks as the train screeches to a halt and the doors open.

 

“Lady, I need to be on that train.” He edges backward and he feels a frown tug at his lips at the sight of her folding into herself.

 

“I see. I am sorry.”

 

“Yeah, no worries.” He hurries onto the train and puts his shades back on as he takes a seat. It takes a lot of resolve not to turn around and look at her through the window. However, if he had turned around to see her, he would have caught a glimpse of a smirk on the wrinkled old woman’s face.

 

“You think I wouldn’t recognize my own stupid grandson?” Tsumugi mutters to herself as she watches the train leave. He may have made himself rather unrecognizable to the police and the ones who didn’t know him too well, but she had raised him, she knows him better than anyone. Her clever boy, at least he is alright. When she turns, she sees Itori stand behind her, hunched over and panting.

 

“Geeze, Tsumugi-san, don’t just take off on your own! It’s dangerous right now!”

 

“If you weren’t wearing those ridiculous heels you would have been able to keep up, girl.” Tsumugi snorts, pointing her cane at Itori’s shoes.

 

“And if I can walk from my own home to the park on my own then I am damn well perfectly capable at walking to the station. Now come! We have errands to run!” Itori can’t quite explain it, but the old lady suddenly seems a whole lot livelier, like she was before Uta and Rei ran away. She wonders what made the older woman run to the station though.

 

Surely she couldn’t have recognized Uta?

 

Said young man sits on the train, playing with his phone for a while before he deems it safe to call Rei. It barely rings once before she answers, sounding anxious and worried and impatient.

 

“ _Hello? Uta-kun? Is everything alright? Did you get to meet them? Why did it take so long before you called? You weren’t caught, right?_ ” She bursts out and the corners of his lips curl upwards.

 

“Take a deep breath and let your shoulders drop.” He instructs, and he hears her inhale and exhale a couple of times before she speaks again.

 

“ _Are you okay, Uta-kun?_ ” Rei asks, sounding a lot calmer than when she had answered the phone, but still anxious.

 

“Yeah.” He says. “Yeah, I’m fine.” Somehow, that feels like a lie, and Rei can apparently hear it too.

 

“ _You don’t_ sound _fine_.” Uta can practically hear the frown and he sigh. She is too perceptive for her own good.

 

“It was just weird… being back home.” He admits. “I’ll be back in an hour, and I got a letter from Itori. Do you want to read it together?”

 

 _“Yeah, I’d like that_.” Rei tells him. “ _You want me to make lunch by the time you get back_?” As much as he likes Rei’s cooking, he doesn’t have much of an appetite anymore, so he declines the offer. They sit on the phone and chat for a bit longer, Rei telling him more about the apprentice offer from Daisuke, whom she had spoken with over the phone earlier for more details. He hums along, listening with rapt attention as she speaks before he realizes that he’s going have to jump off at the next stop. He ends the call, telling Rei he’s right around the corner as he jumps off and lightly jogs back towards the apartment.

 

When he opens the door the smell of coffee meets him, and he sees Rei walk around the room divider, holding a mug out to him. He toes off his shoes and trades the letter he carries for the coffee and joins her on the couch. She opens the letter with shaky hands, and they read the contents together. The name and contact info of the lawyer is written at the top of the letter, and the rest is about what has happened up until now. Itori and Renji have tried to be careful with what they’ve written, but no matter how much they have dumbed it down, Rei grows fearful anyway.

 

“He’s threatening them directly?” She asks quietly and Uta purses his lips, not wanting to answer her and make her more anxious than she already is. He worries that she’s just one push away from giving up and returning home, taking on the burden all by herself again. Of course, him not denying it makes her worried anyways.

 

“How is Tsumugi-san? Is she in any condition to be alone right now?” Rei turns on him, voice shaky.

 

“Itori-san’s keeping watch for me.” Uta tells her. “Besides, granny is more than capable of taking care of herself.” He assures her. She doesn’t look fully convinced as he sips his coffee and Uta tugs on her hair playfully.

 

“Don’t worry about it. They’re working on getting the case together and order him a one-way ticket to jail.” Rei’s frown eases up and she goes back to reading the last part of the letter, paling considerably.

 

“What?” He snatches it out of her hands and frowns at the last line. No doubt it’s Renji who wrote the last part, the handwriting is rather neat, and not at all censored. He wishes they had left it out though, as he watches how the girl beside him shrinks into herself and sinks into the couch.

 

“He’s not… He’ll do it.” She whimpers, looking about ready to cry. “After what he did to me, he won’t hesitate, I know he won’t.”

 

“Don’t worry. He won’t recognize me like this.” Uta assures the white-haired girl, but nothing can console her this time.

 

“He really will kill you.” She’s ready to burst out crying and he looks through the letter again, trying to find something to console her with and finds it right before that last line of Renji’s. He should have read that before he went straight to the last sentence.

 

“Look here, Rei-san.” He waves the letter in front of her again. “They say they’ll come by next time, so I won’t have to risk anything. I’m not going back to Tokyo before this is over. I gave Itori-san a clue to where we are, she’ll find us and come here.” He promises, and she breathes in deep, trying to calm herself down before she can fall into a panic attack. She’s had enough of those.

 

“Do you need a hug?” He’s getting better and knowing what she needs when she needs it, and she nods and shuffles closer to him, letting him hug her. She sits there, trying to keep her breathing under control as she tries to think of better things, good things, happy memories. It works somewhat, and she slumps.

 

“Don’t worry so much. It’ll be over soon.”

 

Rei doesn’t think so. She will never stop worrying about it. She is mostly afraid she’ll still be afraid even after it’s all over.


	4. Is It Better?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are progressing, and Rei feels better about everything, yet some things just won't let go.

A month and a half pass by quickly, and while Rei at the beginning right after receiving the letter had been anxious for more information from Itori and Renji, she has calmed down considerably now. Instead of fretting, she focuses her energy on soaking in any and all that Daisuke can teach her. She meets up with him every Sunday, and Mondays and Tuesdays on slow days, and spends hours there being taught by him. During these times, she has been forced to walk home alone sometimes, but she has handled it rather well. There are times where Rei forgets to look at the clock and watch the time so she can be home in time to have dinner ready by the time Uta is done.

 

Like today.

 

“Hm, it’s a bit uneven here.” The hairstylist hums as he looks the doll over. Rei follows his line of sight and tugs on the hair on the other side of the doll’s hair.

 

“Right.” She brings the scissors up, cut a little bit more before checking again.

 

“Now then?” Daisuke looks it over again, tugging on the wig before nodding in approval.

 

“Much better.” He says.

 

“Was it you who gave your boyfriend his undercut?” Rei nods, tilting her head.

 

“Yes. Was there something wrong with it?”

 

“Not that I could see.” Daisuke assures her before straightening up. “But I believe I must simply let you go now, as your sweet boy is outside waiting.” She blinks in confusion. She doesn’t quite understand what Daisuke is talking about, as she is not supposed to be walked home today. As she lifts her arm to check the time on her wristwatch, she thinks that she should have some time yet, considering Uta’s shift lasts until four-

 

“Oh shit!” It is way past four in the afternoon, it’s almost five already. She should have had dinner ready for him by now. She turns sharply to look out the window and sees Uta stand there, a placid expression on his face as usual, and she hurries to clean up the mess she’s made, grabbing the broom and dustpan to gather the hair on the floor but her teacher takes it from her, assuring her that he’ll take care of the clean-up.

 

“I’ll make it up to you! I’m sorry, Dai-san!” She calls over her shoulder as she exits the shop, throwing the strap of her bag over her shoulder hastily, an apology ready on her lips, but Uta won’t let her say anything. His mask melts away and she nearly slips as he falls forward and hugs her. Uta’s had tough days at work before, where he would just flop over onto the couch and curl around a pillow and pull a blanket over himself where the only way for her to coax him out of his cocoon is to place a cup of coffee on the table in front of him. She will also have to move away a bit and wait, and he would slowly unfurl and reach for the mug, downing it quickly even though the liquid is scalding hot and only then sitting up. She imagines Uta’s day must have been rough indeed if he came straight here to silently complain to her instead of waiting at home.

 

“Rough day?” She pats his back and hears him sigh.

 

“Wish you had come by.” He mutters and she pauses, letting her hand rest on his back and turning her head in an attempt at looking at him. He’s never said that before, or even inclined that having her around when he’s at the coffee shop makes him feel better.

 

“That bad? What happened?” He pulls back and holds out a package she hadn’t noticed when she ran out the doors. She recognizes the neat handwriting on it and she’s both eager and anxious at the same time.

 

“Did _they_ send it?”

 

“She came by with it herself.” He tells her and Rei agrees with him. She wishes she had been there too, because it would have been so nice to speak with Itori again after not having seen her for nearly four months. But still, in the package the ginger left with Uta, there might be good news.

 

She hopes it is good news. She can’t handle any bad news.

 

The walk back is quiet, even Uta seems tired now. Rei worries that she’s asked for too much when she asked for help on the back of his bicycle right before graduation. He hasn’t complained yet, but it must be stressful, knowing that his grandmother has been harassed by Rei’s guardian because they ran away, and that the old lady is really all alone without him. It’s always been those two, but now he isn’t there for her. They don’t keep up the pretence today as they walk home. The people they pass who they know rather well by now, raise a brow at the lack of handholding and teasing and playful bickering, growing a bit worried at the tense silence between the two. Even their landlady throws a worried look after them when they greet her rather gloomily as they climb the stairs. Rei sits on the couch as Uta tears the paper and opens the box inside, where they find a small memory chip. They stare at it for a while before Uta gets up to retrieve his laptop and drops his sweater, the new tattoos branding his left arm standing out against his pale skin.

 

There’s no use in delaying it, so he quickly opens it and finds the one single video-file stored on the chip. He clicks on it, and Renji and Itori pop up on the screen and Rei gasps. They look pretty chipper, well, Itori does, Renji is as stone-faced as ever, but there is comfort in the normalcy.

 

“ _Hi_ _~ U-chan, Rei-chan!_ ” Itori cheers loudly while Renji just waves. Even though it’s just a pre-recorded video, the sight of the two makes Rei’s mood much lighter because they look like they’re okay and have good news to share.

 

“ _How are you two doing? What are you passing yourself off as? Siblings? No way, room mates? Or maybe, lovers_ _~?_ ” The ginger waggles her eyebrows suggestively and Renji rolls his eyes at the barrage of questions before nudging her and giving her a look that tells her to hurry up and get on with it.

 

“ _As you can see, Ren-chan is still a killjoy, so nothing much have changed since you two_ eloped _._ ” Itori pouts and said man grunts.

 

“ _Get on with it_.” He grumbles and Rei watches how the two bicker back and forth on the screen, Itori wanting to brighten the mood and use her sweet time because it’s been a while and Renji just wanting to get the whole thing over with. Rei is happy to see them, even if it is just a pre-recorded video, because she has spoken to neither of them since she left, there has been no contact with the exception of the letter Uta had gone to pick up. Rei pulls her feet up onto the couch and wraps her arms around her knees as she watches the two bicker with a small smile on her face. She tilts sideways into Uta who leans back against her, watching just as quietly. It is oddly comforting to watch the two bicker. He slips one hand into Rei’s, tightening his grip just as Itori huffs on the screen and crosses her arms. Rei wonders how much work they have put into this whole thing, if it’s interfering with their school work at all. Uta keeps her hidden, and the other two are fixing the rest. It must be taxing, right?

 

“ _Fine!_ ” The ginger snaps, glaring at Renji for a moment before beaming at the camera again.

 

“ _Rei-chan, U-chan, according to the lawyer we’ve built a solid case. The x-rays you took right before you ran away and the vlogs you made when your uncle-_ “ This time Itori’s smile fades for an entirely different reason and she looks to Renji, unsure.

 

“ _When the bastard started to abuse you_.” The light-haired male finishes for her. He looks just as uncomfortable for a moment but hides it quickly.

 

“ _Those will come in handy. We still haven’t figured out who his contact in the police is though. Once we do though, it’ll be over. The trial will be set and you guys can come home._ ” Itori fixes the screen with an apologetic smile as she rubs her hands together.

 

“ _We went through them with the lawyer. I’m sorry, Rei-chan._ ”

 

“That’s okay.” Rei murmurs despite knowing they can’t hear her.

 

“ _We’ve gotten the phone logs from the police station too. They record all their calls, so it’s only a matter of time before we find out who the bastard’s contact is._ ” The white-haired woman nods along as the other two speak.

 

“ _Don’t worry, guys. You’ll both be back home before you know it!”_ Itori blows the camera a kiss and Renji musters up a small smile before they both freeze. The video has reached its end, there is nothing more for them to hear. Rei turns and wraps her arms around Uta and he wraps his arms around her in turn, clinging to her. This is the first time since they were children that the male shows any sign of unease and desperation. He wants to return home, she knows this even though he’s never outright told her so, because he is worried about his grandmother. Rei wishes Itori and Renji could have at least mentioned Uta’s grandmother, just so they could know that everything is alright.

 

“Not much longer now.” She murmurs, straightening her back so she towers over him and kisses his temple and hugs him close again, one hand brushing over the shaved part of his head. Such an action is far from normal and she takes him by surprise, she can see it, but instead of laughing at it, she continues.

 

“Thank you so much.” She smiles down at him. “Thank you so much for saving me.” He wants to argue that he hasn’t saved her just yet, but she looks appeased and absolutely sure that this will end well for her, so he keeps his concern to himself. He’ll let her have this moment.

 

“Anything for you, my Lady.” He teases, reaching up to remove her round glasses and wipes the tears she hasn’t even noticed were there.

 

“But you need a new hobby. Crying your eyes out isn’t healthy, you know.” Rei giggles and wholeheartedly agrees. The gloom and anxiousness they both felt earlier is gone and she slides off the couch to make dinner. The day has been great, good news have been shared and it seems like it is coming to a good end as well. Soon, even.

 

She wishes it could have lasted through the night.

 

It’s not the first time Rei has nightmares, but it is the first time Uta hears her having them instead of noticing the morning afterwards. Inked eyes snap open, disoriented for only a second, before he shoves the futon off of himself and scrambles to his feet. By the time he reaches the bedroom, Rei has clapped her hands over her own mouth to quiet the screams, though there’s no mistaking the muffled sounds coming from behind them. She can’t stop herself from crying out just yet, but she’s doing her best to keep him from hearing.

 

Too bad for her, he heard the initial scream.

 

“Rei-san.” He announces his presence and she turn towards him, green eyes wide with panic. He doesn’t like that expression on her. Even in the dark he can see that it looks far too much like the expression she wore when he saw the bruises and realized what had been happening to her. The man only had her for a year, and he has done quite the number on her.

 

“Uta-kun, - sorry - I’m so sorry-“ She manages to utter before she slaps her hands over her mouth again, clenching her eyes tightly shut. He moves into the room slowly, careful not to jostle her when he sits and frowns when she flinches away from his touch and curls into herself. She’s too scared to accept physical comfort right now, everything reminds her of the kicks and punches her uncle dealt out whenever he felt like it. If he’s not careful, he might trigger a real terrible panic attack

 

“I’m awake now.” He says softly, trying to sound gentle and reassuring. “You might as well make good use of me.” The joke falls flat and she fights a sob as she speaks up.

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, I, I didn’t mean to wake you- I’m usually better at keeping- I’m sorry.” He carefully turns her around, brows furrowing even closer together. He doesn’t like the sound of this.

 

“How often do you wake up screaming?” She looks like a deer caught in the headlights, before she looks _guilty_ , of all things. She needs to stop feeling guilty for every little thing she cannot control.

 

“Rei-san-“

 

“Not as often as I used to!” She hurries to say before he can coax anything out of her. It’s not what he actually asked for, but it is probably the best he’ll ever get out of her. Instead of pressing the matter further, he carefully links their hands together. This time she allows the touch, but she’s watching so, so carefully. Even though she knows Uta himself won’t hurt her, she can’t calm down and feel safe.

 

“Lean on me, Rei-san. If you have nightmares, talk to me. If you can’t go back to sleep afterwards, wake me up. I’ll listen to you.”

 

“It’s three in the morning.” Rei’s stuttering is dying away as she glances at the digital clock on the nightstand. Uta’s barely slept two hours, and now that she has mentioned it he feels just how exhausted he is. The girl must have noticed it on him, judging by how guilty she looks again. She is far too perceptive, he thinks.

 

“I’m sorry, Uta-kun. Take the bed and get proper rest.” She makes a move to slide off, but he cuts her off.

 

“It would have been a kind offer if the sheets weren’t drenched in your sweat.” She flushes a bright red, stammering apologies, and he lets her. He doesn’t move just yet, he waits until her breathing evens out and her shaking fades. Once she exhales, shakily, in a sign that she has calmed down considerably, he stands up from the bed and tugs on her hand still caught in his. He leads her out of the bedroom and into the living-room, tugging her down onto the futon and pulling it up to her chin. He makes a point of having a bit of space between them, just so she won’t feel too caged in.

 

“B-but I’m sweaty-“ She protests but he ignores her.

 

“Don’t make a fuss, Rei-san. I’m tired.” He punctuates his sentence with a yawn and she stops fighting him on it and looks up, only to see that his eyes are closed already and his breathing is evening out. He must have been really tired, she thinks, for having fallen asleep so quickly, and she gently tries to extract herself from the futon, though he stirs when she does so, and she accepts the fact that she’ll just have to sleep on the futon with him. She doesn’t imagine she’ll get much sleep anyways after the horrible nightmare she just had.

 

That red colour of that day is still vivid on her mind. Just thinking of _that_ day makes her shake in terror even more so than the thought of falling back into her uncle’s grasp again.

 

She’s surprised when she wakes up the next morning feeling almost well, despite being wrapped in arms and legs which are not hers and a heavy weight on her chest. She blinks the sleep from her eyes and look down, seeing her roommate wrapped all around her and his head resting on her breast.

 

“You’re… a koala in your sleep.” Rei mutters as she shifts and manages to free one arm to poke him in the side in an attempt at making him let go of her so she could get up, but all that accomplishes is having Uta tighten his hold on her and bury his face into her chest.

 

“Okay, no! Uta-kun, wake up!” She slaps the back of his head and the dark-haired male jerks awake, narrowly missing hitting her chin.

 

“Wha?”

 

“It’s morning.” Rei tells him and he blinks at her before laying down again.

 

“Hey!” She protests.

 

“But I’m comfortable here.”

 

“You have work!” He may be comfortable there, but she isn’t all that comfortable about him using her chest as a pillow.

 

“Not until later in the afternoon.” He sighs sleepily, shifting his head to her shoulder, and she gives up, because she knows she won’t win this when he’s not completely awake. She’s got no appointments or work today either, and truth be told, despite the tiny annoyance at being used as a pillow, though she’s happy he moved his head from her chest, she is actually laying comfortably now and undeniably tired from her nightmare still. She may have slept well in the futon afterwards, but now that she is awake the haunting image comes back.

 

Trapped in a room with no doors or windows, with her dead father, his blood all over the floor and her, then he disappears, but the blood stays and then her uncle appears and all she knows is pain and she can’t escape, can’t move, she’s alone, she’s scared.

 

There is no escape.

 

“Are you afraid?” Uta asks and she nods, realizing her breathing has picked up and her heart is beating quickly.

 

“Always.” She admits. “But hugging, or laying like this even, makes it, kind of, bearable. It feels like that, at least. Maybe it’s because… it’s physical contact that doesn’t hurt?” She realizes and lets her fingers thread through his uneven hair. He makes a sound akin to a purr and snuggles closer, tightening his grip. She shifts a bit but doesn’t push him away.

 

“Then we will cuddle as often as we have to.” Uta says and Rei rolls her eyes at the far too happy tone of voice he uses.

 

“If you want to cuddle just admit it, you koala. Don’t use my anxiety as an excuse.”

 

“Is that my new nickname now?”

 

“It fits. Just by looking at you one wouldn’t think you are a cuddle-monster.”

 

“Don’t judge a book by its cover.” Uta grins up at her and she slaps the back of his head again.

 

“Get off of me.”

 

“Don’t wannaaaa.”

 

“I’m hungry and in need of a shower.”

 

“True, you reek of sweat.” She shoves him off and he rolls away, trapped in the sheet as she storms off.


	5. Do Not Cower Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rei is terrified of many things. Her experience has left her scared about most things, really.

Rei likes Uta. That’s no secret to her, or something she ever denied to herself. Or Itori, who always manages to figure out everything about everyone, sometimes even before said person knows it themselves. She’s not sure when it happened, but she’s always been a bit closer to him than the other two. It may have something to do with the fact that they were already childhood friends before the other two joined the duo and made it a group of four. Perhaps that is why she confided in him when he started to figure out what was happening to her. Maybe that is why she broke down in front of him and begged for help. Because she knew she could trust him. Because he had always been there.

 

She thinks back on the first few days they lived in this apartment, as she sets the table and begins making breakfast, starting the coffee maker. Back then she thought she had been put in the ideal position to tell him, if she had the courage to do so. Uta stirs beneath his futon before slowly pulling himself up and shuffling towards the bathroom. By the time he gets out, she’s put a mug of steaming hot black coffee on the table and he flops into a seat, his eyes barely open as he reaches for the mug.

 

As she finishes and starts putting the food on the table, she again thinks that she is in the ideal situation to tell him, but she doesn’t do it. She enjoys playing his girlfriend out amongst the inhabitants of the town, but that’s as far as she dares take their relationship. Because her uncle often threatened to hurt her friends if she ever outed him or acted against him.

 

And she has outed him. To her closest people at least. And she has acted against him by running away and having her friends attempt at helping her get him far, far away from her. She doesn’t dare let him have any more people to threaten her with, or a greater reason and ability to hurt her more than he already has.

 

So she keeps her feelings to herself and just enjoys how he links his fingers with hers when they’ve locked the door as if it is the most natural thing in the world, and not just something they play at to deceive the people around them. The only hints she ever gives is when she sometimes holds onto his hand for a little longer than is necessary before they part ways when they leave the house for their respectable professions and at times she imagines that he looks at her in a different way than a normal friend would, that his kisses on her cheeks and forehead linger longer than they should, that he hugs her without cause or reason, and not only when she has an anxiety attack and is in need of comfort.

 

The hugs are real, but she believes that the other things are just a figment of her imagination, of what she wants but doesn’t dare ask for. She does her best to ignore them, accepts reality with a rueful smile as Uta waves after her as she enters the hair saloon for another day of practice.

 

“You seem a bit out of it today, Rei-chan.” Daisuke comments and her head snap up.

 

“Sorry, Daisuke-san. I’ve been having a lot on my mind lately.” Rei apologizes, hanging her head a bit. She’s been having these feelings for quite some time, she doesn’t understand why they bother her now. Perhaps it is because right now it is only the two of them and she is so far removed from her worries and she can allow herself to think about normal, mundane things and wanting all of it without folding into herself, crying and hiding away.

 

“What’s bothering you, darling?” He asks and she shakes her head. She can’t talk about it, she thinks, because she’s afraid of exposing them both. It is not like she believes that Daisuke will call the police on them so they can be hauled back to Tokyo, but she doesn’t want to say or do anything to compromise everything either. Uta, Itori and Renji are putting a lot of effort into this whole charade, after all.

 

“It’s nothing I can’t deal with.” Rei slaps on a smile but Daisuke lays his hands over hers, lowering her arms away from the doll. She looks up startled at the furrowed brows on the handsome and otherwise cheery man she calls teacher.

 

“Daisuke-san?”

 

“You almost cut yourself, Rei-chan. And you are not a careless enough person to do that if things weren’t bad.”

 

“Oh, I really am spacing out, huh?” She giggles nervously but the man’s frown grows deeper and she realizes he won’t let the matter go no matter how many times she tries to reassure him.

 

“Is it Uta-san? Are you two not getting along so well anymore?”

 

“Oh, oh no! That’s not it!” Rei hurries to say as she pulls herself free and puts the equipment she had been using down on the tray.

 

“It’s just… I’m hesitant to tell him how I actually feel. I like him a lot, I mean, I am in love with him, but I’m scared of telling him that.”

 

“But you two are lovers, are you not? Doesn’t he already know?” There is no one in the shop right now, and Rei knows Daisuke’s appointments will start up later, but there might be customers who wants to see if he can do a walk-in appointment.

 

“Can we…” Rei makes a decision as she gestures to the back of the shop. “Can we go in the back?” And he follows, listening as she tells him how they ran away from home because of her being abused, that they are just hiding and biding their time. She doesn’t tell her teacher that their relationship is a fake, but he does seem to understand that she doesn’t want to give her abuser another target, someone who is, perhaps, more important to her than herself.

 

“I care a lot about him. I’m just scared of telling him that. What if things don’t work out? What if he finds us? I don’t want Uta-kun to be hurt.” She can feel tears press on and inhales, hoping to calm herself before she breaks out crying but she can’t. She feels herself crumbling, she can’t-

 

“Come here, my dear.” Daisuke pulls her towards him and hugs her. She blinks, surprised.

 

“From what I can understand of your story, you have friends who support you and is ready to help you out at any time. So, do not worry about it not ending well. Believe that it _will_ end well. I don’t know him as well as you do, but I do know Uta-san isn’t stupid enough to whisk you away without knowing the full extent of the dangers.” She sniffs before hugging the man back.

 

“I’m sorry, I, I didn’t mean to- I’m sorry-“

 

“It’s okay.” He lets her hold on for a bit longer, lets her be the one to pull back and wipe away the few tears that had escaped.

 

“Thank you for listening, Dai-san.”

 

“Of course.” The man smiles and reaches out to rub away what little make-up is smeared.

 

“Now, go continue with your practice. I have a phone call to make.” She nods and goes back out into the saloon as Daisuke pulls up his phone. He waits until the girl is out of earshot before he dials a number and waits.

 

“ _Hello?_ ”

 

“When you come to pick up your sweet girl, you better show some appreciation and just how much you care about her, because she is scared of telling _you_. Have I made myself understood, kiddo?” There’s a pause on the other side before the voice speaks again, sounding quite confused.

 

“ _Daisuke-san? What do you mean?”_

 

“You heard me, boy. Don’t make me repeat myself.” Daisuke tells him before hanging up, pocketing his phone, takes a deep breath and slaps on a smile as he heads out to look over Rei’s progress.

 

Uta, on the other hand, stares at his phone, blinking owlishly. His mentor is calling out to him, but he can’t quite process what he’s hearing, because his mind is still trying to process what Daisuke just told him over the phone.

 

_‘Rei… what?’_

 

“Hey, I’m talking to you!” He startles so bad he nearly drops the phone, and scrambles to catch it.

 

“Sorry!”

 

Rei isn’t sure what is going on when Uta comes to pick her up. She’s used to hugs and a kiss on the cheek or forehead, but for him to completely forgo the hug and instead just kiss her right on the mouth is new. And not part of their deal, this is _way_ out of line. It isn’t a full on passionate onslaught you see in movies, it’s just a gentle press of his lips against hers, but still. He pulls back, and she blinks at him, brain and mouth not quite cooperating with each other. There are many things going through her mind, but she can’t articulate them. Uta gives her no time to gather herself though, interlocking her fingers with his and pulling her along. And that is fine. She can’t have a fit out there amongst the people who think they’re a couple, she must wait until they get back to the apartment, where no one can hear them discuss this.

 

Because what he did is way out of line. And she feels hurt, because he doesn’t know what this is to her, and she should have made it clear that something like this is not okay. She should have lied and told him that it makes her uncomfortable, just so he wouldn’t do it. Yet she never imagined he actually would kiss her to keep up appearances.

 

So, she makes a mental list of what to take up with him when they get home, and by the time they reach the stairs to the door she has accumulated quite a lot and is ready to let loose a tirade once Uta closes the door behind them.

 

She doesn’t get that far.

 

The moment she turns around he’s clasped her face in his hands and is kissing her again, lips gentle but firm against hers. She is so taken aback again, not quite understanding what is going on. Affections outside the apartment amongst the people is normal, but inside the apartment it is unusual for her to receive anything but a comforting hug when she needs it. This is new territory and she isn’t sure what to do. When he pulls back, she’s caught in the red burning against the black. There’s no glimmer of mischief in his eyes, or anything else that makes her think that he is up to something.

 

Or making fun of her. Which makes her so confused.

 

“Why did you kiss me?” But she’s got to know why he’s doing this.

 

“Because I wanted to.” Is his answer. It’s not good enough, not to Rei, and she voices that out loud.

 

“That’s not an answer.”

 

“Isn’t it?” He thinks it is, because does he need another reason than that?

 

“Don’t kiss me if you don’t care about me, Uta-kun.” She growls and pushes past him, actually really angry with him for the first time in years, and very much hurt. She won’t show him that though, and heads for the kitchen, needing a distraction and making dinner will be a good one right now, it’ll be like her day is going on normally. She tries to ignore his presence, but it is hard when she sees him staring at her from the corner of her eyes. Just watching, not doing anything or saying anything. It is unnerving.  

 

“Rei-san.” She hears him say as she pulls food from the fridge. She does her best to ignore him.

 

“Rei-san.” He insists and she shuts the door to the fridge with more force than is necessary.

 

“I’m busy.”

 

“You know how to multitask.” She slams the pot into the counter and heaves a deep breath.

 

“Uta-kun.” She says firmly. “Leave me alone.”

 

“No.” She hears him take a few steps closer and she feels the urge to hit him across the face with the frying pan but quells the urge. She knows better than most how violence is not the answer. Instead she leans over the counter and tries to steady her breathing, to steady her voice when she speaks again, and she is somewhat successful.

 

“Leave me alone, _please_.” But that damned Uta is far too perceptive for his own good. He walks over, ignoring the threat of the shaking frying pan and turns her around after prying her fingers off of the handle. He doesn’t say anything, nor does he kiss her again. She can’t read his expression at all and that terrifies her because she’s known him for years and this is the first time since they were children that she doesn’t know what he’s thinking. He hugs her instead, resting his chin atop her head.

 

“If I tell you I like you a whole lot, will you say the same back to me?” Her breath hitches.

 

“Will you let me kiss you again? Without getting angry with me?” She swallows. Why is he saying this? Is he messing with her? No, Uta loves playing games, but not these kinds of games, not to her, right? He can be a jerk sometimes, but after all she’s been through, he wouldn’t do this to her, would he?

 

“Because if I say it, I’ll mean it, Rei-san. This has nothing to do with what we’re here for. I like when you hold my hand longer than necessary, I think you’re cute when your cheeks turn red, I’m happy when you let me hold you, I want them all to be things we do, not because you need comfort, but because you want to do them with me.” He isn’t playing any game, which is even more terrifying. His words aren’t all that eloquent, but they are sweet, and honest. She believes him, she does, but she’s still so scared. Even though feels the same way too, will she be able to say it? She moves back a bit and he let her lean back enough so that he can get a good look at her face. He isn’t smiling, but his expression has softened. He’s not pushing her, he’s not urging her to tell him quickly, he is giving her the time she needs to come up with an answer, gives her time to properly think. Does she even have to answer right now?

 

“Will you? Really?” He nods and she looks down. She’s cowering because she’s still scared of her uncle. He threatened her friends on more than one occasion and those threats still hang over her head as a constant reminder of how terrible things had been for a long time. But then again, her uncle doesn’t know where she and Uta are and Renji and Itori are careful, she had warned them to be before they ran away. By all means, she should allow herself a little bit of happiness, right?

 

“I care for you a lot, Rei-san.” Uta says before she can even find the strength to look at him. In a way he is telling her to not be scared, because he isn’t, and it is okay no matter what she says back to him, whether she feels the same way or not. So she swallows, and gathers her courage, what little she has been able to build during their stay, and pulls him down and whispers against his ear, afraid to be heard by anyone. An irrational fear, as they are the only ones in the room, but she cannot help it. The way Uta grins afterwards makes it worth it though and she finds herself smiling tentatively back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if anyone feels like they're a bit OOC, but this is a human au, in which they are still very young. and having lived normal lives.


	6. Exploration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, first time ever writing something even remotely close to this, so... a bit uncomfortable, yeah

Their little life on the run is coming to an end. They have had several face-time chats with the lawyer Itori has hired and have been able to acquire a date for the court hearings to start up. At the very least Rei will have to stay in Tokyo to be able to attend every meet, but Uta is working on getting a couple of free days for those specific days too. Itori and Renji will be there, but she wants his support the most and has openly admitted it to him so Uta is working several extra shifts at the café to earn some time off that they can afford.

 

Uta is a, relatively, new worker at the café. At the very least he’s the newest, and as he is a rather attractive young man it is only natural that the guests at the café, both males and females, eye him. And with each new little piercing, tattoo or changed hairstyle, he grows even more handsome to the population. In this little town where almost everyone knows everyone, him being so different is exotic.

 

Rei admits that he rocks the uniform the workers wear. He looks good in the black dress pants with a white apron around his waist and the white dress shirt rolled up to his elbows showing off all his tattoos with the dark vest and red tie. It suits him, weirdly enough, and she can understand why the high school girls are eyeing him openly and giggling loudly, bright red flush dusting their cheeks, and how the more mature women glance his way now and then over the rim of their coffee cups. She understands. But it bothers her a bit too.

 

When they were just posing as a couple it didn’t bother her, but now that they truly are a couple, the looks and giggles and the red cheeks annoy her. She may be a bit possessive of him, she realizes as she enters the coffee shop with a few shopping bags from her little outing with Hitomi. The bright smile that flashes across his face for a brief instant is reserved only for her though and everyone who’s grown to know them knows this. And knowing that it is meant only for her makes the jealousy wilt away every time.

 

“One coffee, please.” She tells her waiter who nods and hurries to make her order. Once she has been served, she patiently waits for Uta’s shift to be done. It’s not long now, and she notices how one table of teenage girls keeps checking the clock even more often than her. Then one of the girls at that table point at Rei’s boyfriend who begins to undo the strings of his apron as he disappears behind the door marked with an “employees only” sign and Rei comes to the startling realization that, apparently, this group of females have learned Uta’s timetable. She tells him so when he takes a seat opposite of her at her table after having changed out of his uniform.

 

“That’s creepy.” He shudders, though it’s obvious he’s just playing. There isn’t much that fazes him.

 

“Neh, Uta-kun. After the trial… Do you want to go home to Tsumugi-san or would you like to stay here with me until college starts up again?” Rei asks uncertainly. She is planning on staying a bit afterwards, because there is still a lot she can learn from Daisuke before she goes to college once the break is over. Itori has made arrangements for Rei to be able to live with her once it’s all over so she has a place to stay for the next three years during college, and she is happy for that. She’d like to stay a bit longer with Uta though, before they part ways for college.

 

“Hm, I wonder. Staying here sound nice, I like it here.” He says with a quiet hum.

 

“What about Tsumugi-san?”

 

“Once this is over, I can visit her whenever I want.” He shrugs and she grins. They chat for some time, finishing their drinks and when they stand up, Uta notices something.

 

The girl is wearing fucking stockings. White slips of fabric running up her legs.

 

And he might have a tiny little kink for said article of clothing. Not that he’s ever told her that.

 

Why is she wearing stockings though, he wonders? He’s never seen her wear stockings before, not that he is complaining either. She smiles at him and grabs his hand after she’s paid for her coffee and they walk home, though she stops by a flower store on the way back and asks him to wait for her while she hurries inside to make a purchase. He can’t help but turn his eyes downwards to see just how far up her legs the stockings go when her skirt lift a bit with her movements. He can’t help it. She looks good in them, because of those god damn yoga classes she goes to with Hitomi twice a week her legs are shapely and strong. He can see her through the window, but because of the myriads of plants and flowers inside he can’t see much other than her upper body.

 

 _‘Such a shame.’_ When she exits the shop, she’s carrying a bouquet of pink carnations and he realizes what day it is. He wonders how he had forgotten.

 

Ogling her wearing stockings is not appropriate today.

 

 _‘Any other day is fair game.’_ He thinks as she links their fingers together again. The walk home is quick and suddenly quiet, but it is a comfortable quiet that has fallen over them, so neither attempt to break it. Once home Rei sets the flowers on the kitchen table and goes to the bedroom, bringing out incense and a picture frame. She sets the picture in front of the flowers and lights up the incense. She claps her hands together, mumbling a quiet prayer before sitting down by the table and resting her chin in her hands. He doesn’t bother her, let’s her fall into her memories and daydream.

 

Uta makes dinner that evening, and Rei doesn’t talk much. They spend the evening quietly watching a movie and go to bed early.

 

“Are you okay?” Uta asks her once the lights are off and they’ve become comfortable on the bed. Rei nods, eyes distant.

 

“Uncle never let me do that. When I tried, he hit me. That’s when it started… all of it.” It is quite obvious as to what she is talking about, but he doesn’t say much more of it.

 

“I see.” He says instead, now understanding even more why she had spent the last part of the day staring at the photograph of her father. He offers to have a small shrine built, but she shakes her head with a small smile. What would be the use of that when they won’t stay much longer?

 

“You’re awfully thoughtful today.” She turns her head to look at him over her shoulder. She feels safe when Uta spoons her, but it makes it a bit hard to properly converse.

 

“You’re up to something.” She narrows her eyes at him and he tilts his head the best he can, looking rather innocent. Too innocent. She wonders how he does it, with the holes from the piercings he has removed and the tattoos.

 

“I was in for a treat today.” Is all he tells her.

 

“Really?” She blinks. “What was it?”

 

“Not telling.” She blinks again before frowning, asking him to tell her. He refuses to do it though, sticking his tongue out to tease her until she turns around his arms and jabs him in the chest with her pointy finger.

 

“Should I be worried?” She raises a brow, but he just pulls her closer and makes himself comfortable and she takes this as a sign that he is done talking. But she is still curious, and while she acknowledges that asking more about it in the evening when they’ve already gone to bed is unnecessary, she leaves one last sentence to hang in the air.

 

“I will find out.” She waits for a mocking reply, for him to tease and say she never will, but he surprises her.

 

“Yes, yes you will.” And his reply throws her for a loop. She _does_ almost always find out what it is he’s hiding in the end, but he has never once told her that she will be able to find out. But she doesn’t push the issue anymore. She simply relaxes and let’s sleep carry her off.

 

She’s pleasantly surprised a few days later when she does realize what it is Uta was talking about, when he comes to pick her up from work while she’s conversing with Hitomi. She waves and tells him she’ll be right there once she’s done. Hitomi moves with her as she heads towards the backroom, the older woman using the excuse that she is heading for the cash register as she secretly whispers to Rei what she spied with her eyes.

 

“He hasn’t been able to look away from your legs.” Rei chances a subtle glance back and sees that Hitomi is right. Her boyfriend’s eyes are on her, but they’re not directed to any part of her that is over her knees. She giggles to herself as she pulls on her jacket and grabs her purse, thinking to herself that buying the stockings may not have been such a bad idea after all. She should probably accept more advice from Hitomi on this front, Rei thinks as she moves to leave the backroom. She pauses as she lays a hand on the doorknob before she makes a decision and opens it. Instead of going straight towards Uta, she heads towards Hitomi and the blonde tilts her head curiously at her junior.

 

“Kawaguchi-san, would you mind, well, would you mind going on another shopping trip with me? For clothes I’d look, um, really good in?” She asks quietly. Understanding dawns on Hitomi and she grins mischievously at the younger girl, who is starting to doubt herself a little bit.

 

“Of course, Fujioka-chan, I’d love that! How about tomorrow? We’re both free, aren’t we? Let’s do it before yoga class.” Rei nods and they agree to meet at the mall around early afternoon the next day. She nearly dies in embarrassment when she reaches Uta and Hitomi calls out that they’ll find many clothes she’ll look ravishing in. Uta smirks and Rei covers her face as she marches straight past him. She should have just called the woman afterwards and arranged an appointment later, just so she could have avoided this embarrassing situation. Uta catches up to her and she can feel the smugness roll off of him.

 

“Shut up.” She growls.

 

“I didn’t say anything.”

 

“You were thinking it.” She knows him well enough, and the smirk on his face is a tell-tale sign that he is about to tease her. She braces herself for what she knows is to come, and is not disappointed, or perhaps it is more accurate to say that she is not surprised by his next words.

 

“I’m just looking forward to see you wearing those _ravishing_ clothes she’ll find you.” She flushes an even darker red and speeds up, leaving him lagging behind, having had her fill of being embarrassed for one day. She can hear him laughing behind her and throws him a glare over her shoulder and feels determination boil in her chest. Oh she _will_ find herself clothing she’ll look damn fine in just so she can make him shut up. She will make his jaw drop with her absolutely stunning new look and rub it in his face.

 

She will!

 

The next day she gets up early, makes breakfast and rouses Uta from bed before getting ready for her day out. Uta leaves before her, and while it still feels weird to go out alone without having him walk with her, she grits her teeth, gathers her courage and goes to the tiny mall. When Rei meets up with Hitomi, she tells the elder woman how Uta had, kind of, made fun of her and Hitomi takes it upon herself to help Rei knock Uta down a few pegs. Rei appreciates the older woman’s’ enthusiasm and lets herself be pulled around, trying out many outfits which Hitomi thinks the white-haired girl will look good in.

 

“Most of these are pretty normal. I was worried you’d have me try out a few risqué outfits.” Rei chuckles as they leave the fifth store that day, already having several bags in her hands. She’s already used more money than she should have, but after this she won’t need to shop for a long while. Well, most of the clothes are pretty normal. There are a few nearly see-through tops she’s pretty sure she won’t be wearing anytime soon, but Hitomi had insisted she get them anyways and since Rei is the one who asked the other woman to come along, she felt like she couldn’t say she didn’t want to. She can always just wear a top on the inside, since the colours are very nice.

 

“Yes, though Yamagata-kun should find you ravishing in whatever you wear. But what we really are here to buy to tempt him with is whatever you will be wearing underneath.” Hitomi says with a smirk and Rei flushes a beet red, stopping in her tracks as mortification paralyzes her.

 

“He-he won’t see _that_!” She exclaims and Hitomi stares at her surprised.

 

“You’re a couple living together, aren’t you? What do you mean he won’t see it?” The younger woman clamps her mouth shut and avoids eye-contact, refusing to say anything more, but Hitomi understands anyway.

 

“You haven’t been intimate yet.” She states quietly and Rei flinch.

 

“Please don’t say that out loud.” Rei whimpers.

 

“Well, it’s nothing wrong with it, but it’s surprising. You eloped together, so I assumed you had been _together_. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed.” Hitomi speaks about it like it is the most natural thing in the world. Rei is embarrassed by just hearing the word ‘sex’, or anything implying the act. It is not like she hasn’t thought about it but that was a few times in high school after hearing her friends talk about their times with their boyfriends, and she has thought about it a few times after she and Uta actually got together. But she has never once voiced those thoughts to anyone. She’s never even voiced them out loud to herself.

 

Because it is still embarrassing.

 

“Don’t worry so much.” Hitomi says kindly, taking pity on the poor girl. “It took me a long time before I was together with my hubby too.” Rei looks up at the woman who has moved to stand beside her and is smiling kindly down at her.

 

“Really? You seem so confident about it all.”

 

“Yes, well that is because we’ve been together for so long, and because I know he appreciates me. He’s made sure that I know that.” Hitomi tells her, steering her towards the lingerie shop.

 

“Don’t feel pressured, sweetie, just because he won’t see them until you’re good and ready, it doesn’t mean you can’t feel sexy.” Rei comes out of that store with a ridiculous number of bags, face a blazing red along with a very happy Hitomi.

 

“I’ll never be able to wear these!” Rei groans, but the older woman shakes her head with a wild grin.

 

“The moment you get home, you wash these and once dry, you put on a pair. Don’t think too much about it, only you’ll see it, unless Yamagata-kun does laundry?”

 

“I’m not sure he knows how to work the machine, actually.” The white-haired girl mutters.

 

“Then you’re golden! Now, I’ll see you in yoga-class later?” Rei nods and they part ways. When she returns home, Uta is sprawled out on the couch, staring at his phone.

 

“Anything interesting there?” He glances her way when she speaks and then at the bags she carries before he drops his phone onto the couch and sits up.

 

“Oh, going to tease me some more?” She cocks her head to the side, and his grin widens.

 

“I’m interested in these _ravishing_ clothes, that’s all. I want to see.” He says and she huffs, before dropping all the bags in front of him, except the ones with lingerie. Those she moves directly to the washing machine and toss into it, starting it up immediately on a short program. She moves to the kitchen and makes dinner while he rummages through her bags, checking out what she has bought. As they eat, he keeps bugging her to try them all on and put on a show for him, and she rolls her eyes at him, declining.

 

“No.” She says for what feels like the thousandth time as she moves towards their bedroom, but he follows insistently until she slams the door in his face.

 

“Rei-san.” He complains.

 

“No, I said. I have yoga-class soon!” She hurries to change her clothes and pushes past him when she emerges. She hurries to the laundry room and pulls the clothes out of the machine, hanging them up to dry. She shuts the door behind her and hopes Uta’s curiosity won’t make him open the door.

 

Because she will burn them if he finds them before she is good and ready for it.

 

“When you get home then. I want to draw you.”

 

“No.”

 

“Pretty please.”

 

“Give it up.” She tells him, glaring at the pout on his face. “You’ll see them when I start wearing them anyways. Now I have to go, or I’ll be late.”

 

“Skip yoga-class.” He tries to persuade her even though he likes those yoga-tights on her, he’s told her so many times. And she enjoys the work-out she gets from them. And going to these classes with Hitomi gives her a small sense of achievement, like she’s able to do something on her own without feeling the need to have Uta beside her, like she needs to rely on someone for every little thing.

 

“Haha, no, no I will not.” She deadpans and flicks his forehead before she’s out the door, leaving him to stand alone in the hallway, rubbing his forehead. His pout doesn’t disappear, but he goes back to the couch to scroll through his phone again. Two hours later she comes home again, sweaty but satisfied and pauses by the couch.

 

“You could have at least put them away.” She says and stares at the bags still sitting prettily beside the couch. He sits up and grins, pulling out one of the see-through shirts Hitomi had pushed into her hands.

 

“I have some complaints. Do you really think I’ll let you go outside in these kinds of shirts?” She frowns before snatching the article of clothing from his hands and stuffing it back in the bag.

 

“Shut up.” She mumbles before stalking past him, heading towards the bathroom. She barely reaches the door before he wraps an arm around her waist, holding her in place.

 

“Don’t misunderstand me, Rei-san. I don’t want you wearing these tops because I don’t want anyone else seeing you like that.” He purrs and punctuates his words with a light nip at her sweaty and exposed neck. She yelps and spins around, slapping a hand over the spot he has bitten, face a bright red again. She’s been blushing a lot lately, and he loves it. His grin turns into a smug smirk, and he crowds her against the wall, kissing her. Not the gentle, sweet kisses she’s used to, but a full-on possessive onslaught which leaves her breathless. She doesn’t know where this came from, but now he’s got her pinned with his own body, hands sliding down her arms and catching her own, intertwining their fingers.

 

She’s out of air and pushes him back, gasping for breath. She’s hot all over, and when she looks up, she sees him lick his lips, looking like the cat that got the cream, eyes narrowing impishly. She wonders if it’s healthy to blush as much as she’s doing right now.

 

“I-I’m going to, uh, take a shower.” She shoves him away from her and slips into the bathroom. She quickly undresses and jumps into the shower. Her body is tingling all over and she curses as she turns the water on freezing cold at first. She curses out Uta silently as well and thinks that if she has more confidence in herself, she can return the favour, see how he likes it when the tables are turned. She thinks about the clothes she had hung up to dry before she left for yoga-class. They should be dry by now, she thinks. It’s not like it is a whole lot of fabric on most of them anyway.

 

She can tease too! Probably…. Maybe… Yeah!

 

She shuts off the shower and dries her herself off. She grabs her robe and takes a look in the mirror, staring at herself. She purses her lips and pulls the robe on, finds the hairdryer and dries her hair quickly before brushing her teeth, and marches out the bathroom, into their laundry room, grabs a random pair of underwear, one of his tank tops and goes straight to their bedroom, changing into the new clothes and slipping beneath the covers.

 

Two things pop into her mind as she starts to realize what she has done:

 

One, she has dressed herself in the very clothes she had never thought she would ever wear, with nearly nothing to cover them. Second, is this a clever idea?

 

Yeah, no, no it is not, but she can’t get out now, because Uta can come in any second and she doesn’t want him to see her change her mind. She decides to try and fall asleep before he comes in, though that idea is shot down when her boyfriend and roommate enters not long after. She hears him shuffle towards the bed and Rei is so happy it is dark because she is very uncomfortable, and she doesn’t want him to see as he lifts the sheets and slip onto the bed.

 

“Did I make you uncomfortable, Rei-san?” He asks softly, apologetically, as he scoots closer.

 

“No, not really.” She answers, because she is the one who made herself uncomfortable by pulling this stunt. Hopefully she’ll wake up first tomorrow morning and get to change before he sees her, because really…

 

What is she thinking?

 

She tenses as he wraps one arm over her waist and she both hears and feels him lift his head. He’s thinking about something, she just doesn’t know what, and then he lifts the sheets-

 

“Why are you wearing my shirt?” His fingers trail over the straps and he pauses. “And a bra? I thought they were uncomfortable to sleep in?” Yes, they are _very_ uncomfortable to sleep in, and she’s not sure anymore why she did this, but as she looks over her shoulder, she sees that infuriating smirk on his face and it makes all rational thought take a back seat.

 

It isn’t a smirk, it is actually quite the innocent and curious tilt of his lips, but Rei doesn’t see that, not now. Not with all the teasing she’s been put through today alone.

 

“Well, it’s amongst the new clothes I bought today.” This piques his interest, and he raises a brow. Suddenly she feels a little bit braver again, because this man is honestly interested in her, so maybe she won’t embarrass herself if she tries to show off a bit. She turns onto her back, kicking the sheets away and he blinks, wondering what she’s up to. She sits up before pushing an unresisting Uta down and straddling him, hesitating for only a moment before she pulls the top off of herself. When her vision is no longer obscured, she sees him stare at her, eyes wide and mouth slightly parted.

 

“Uh…” His eyes trail up and down, blinking quickly as if he doesn’t quite comprehend what it is that he is seeing, and she high-fives herself mentally at his speechlessness. At least she managed to surprise him and has left him utterly speechless, and she counts that as a win, because Uta never once loses his words. She also counts that she doesn’t feel her face heat up as a win, and in a voice far more level and smoother than she feels, she says:

 

“I actually quite like them, what do you think?” He opens his mouth, then closes it again. Then he swallows. She feels the corner of her mouth quirk upwards, but she quells the smile as she tilts her head in a display of curiosity, her short hair brushing over her shoulder. The bruises which had marred her body are long gone, and they aren’t even on her mind anymore. There is no reason to hide, nothing to be ashamed of or afraid of anymore. Still, the silent staring gets a bit unnerving after a while, but then he speaks as his hands slowly creep up her thighs, a ticklish feeling making her shiver, and her hands close into fist over his chest.

 

“A-ah… Ravishing indeed.” And then he’s grinning, and Rei has lost the game. He’s gotten over his shock and is admiring Rei’s outfit, or lack thereof. It feels weird to be this _naked_ in front of him. It’s not unpleasant, but it’s weird still. And what little confidence she had when she turned them over disappears like smoke.

 

“Success then.” She says and rolls off, turning her back on him and tries to cover herself with the sheets. The keyword is “try”. The male yanks it out of her hands and she lies very, very still, breath hitching in her throat.

 

“Why cover yourself now?” He teases her and she clears her throat, fingers digging into her pillow in an attempt at grounding herself. She’s not scared, she’s not uncomfortable, she’s just embarrassed by her actions and what it is leading up to. This is something she’s never done before, and it doesn’t matter that it’s Uta she’s appearing like this in front of. It is still unknown territory.

 

“It’s a bit… embarrassing.” He wraps an arm around her middle again and peppers her neck with sweet kisses. They aren’t meant to do anything but calm her down, and the gesture is sweet, but no matter how calming the affection is, Rei is still embarrassed, even as her shoulders lower a bit.

 

“You do know that turning your back on me doesn’t serve to hide much, right?” She is painfully aware of that. She wants his top back, but it’s so dark and she doesn’t want to make a fool of herself, wobbling around in the room trying to find it.

 

“I’m _embarrassed_.” She admits in a mutter and he chuckles.

 

“Why? You _do_ look ravishing.” At least she succeeded in that. Hur-fucking-rah, Rei thinks.

 

“I’ve never been this exposed… I haven’t showed skin since, well… you know.” She says quietly and he pauses his ministrations, instead choosing to reach out and move the arm wrapped around her waist to lay a hand over hers, thumb rubbing over the back of her hand. Rei focuses on that action alone.

 

“Why?” It is obvious why, but he wants her to say it. After everything have been revealed to him, she has never once shied away from the fact of what had happened to her. She cannot start now, and they both know it. She breathes in deep, then exhales. She wants to avoid the memories, but not the truth of why they’re not in Tokyo.

 

“Because of the bruises and swellings. They were ugly… And _you_ realized what they were immediately just by a glance. Others would too. I covered up and got so used to it I don’t feel entirely comfortable like this.”

 

“I see.”

 

“You knew the answer.” She says quietly, tightening her hold on the pillow. Perhaps she can hide beneath it? Cover herself a little bit?

 

“Mhm, but you have to say it, you know that.” Uta turns Rei so she’s facing him and pulls her close, nuzzling their noses. She is still a bit embarrassed, and voices that out loud, and he lets the corners of his mouth tug a bit upwards again. He presses tiny kisses against her lips, aiming to relax her, and she does. She even lets out a giggle at the act and wraps her own arms around his middle. They should be going to sleep, but this intimacy is nice. Rei is the one who initiates more this time and suddenly it is like when he cornered her outside the bathroom earlier.

 

He rolls her over him, slides his hands up her bare back, passing the clasp and tangling his fingers in her hair, tugging her gently back as he sits up, kissing and leaving marks all over her neck and collarbone and grins against her skin at every little noise which escape her. They’ve had a few intense make-out sessions, but they had kept their clothes on back then and the touches had been light, barely there, more like feather-light tickles than meaningful touches meant to please. Those times are nothing like now, where she yanks his t-shirt off of him and pulls him closer, relishing the feel of his skin against hers, where one of his hands cups the back of her head while his other hand grasps at her hips and she can’t recall ever digging her nails into his skin like this, clinging to him for dear life as she is now.

 

She arches her back with a moan as he bites at her neck, and Uta groans as he pulls her down and closer. Rei can feel his body’s reaction to hers and pulls back, hands landing on his shoulders to keep a distance between them as she regains her breath. And senses.

 

“Wait-wait, wait, Uta-kun, wait!” And he stops, looking up at her and she swallows because his red irises seem to be glowing and it is insanely arousing. She takes a few deep breaths to keep her head clear because all she wants is to lean forward and kiss him again and she is afraid of what that will happen if she does.

 

“I’m not… I mean- I…” She stutters, not sure how to tell him she’s not ready for what he feels _very_ ready to do, because how can she tell her boyfriend she’s not ready for sex when she practically ripped his shirt off and straddled him in her underwear? How does any girlfriend tell their boyfriend they’re not ready for that level of intimacy in this kind of situation? Fortunately, she doesn’t have to outright tell him, because Uta seem to understand. He just moves to hug her, arms wrapped around her waist as he grins up at her.

 

“I get it.” He assures her, but he doesn’t let her go, and his hands move up and down her back. That is very distracting, and he seems to notice the effect it has on her. He decides to see if he can push a little bit, for her benefit.

 

“But let me make you feel good, at least?” He asks as the clasp of her bra comes undone and she jerks back with a yelp, covering her chest in shock.

 

_“Uta-kun!”_

 

“Please? Is it okay? If not, I’ll find my shirt for you.” She can’t say the thought doesn’t excite her and she is slightly curious as to how much experience Uta has, because while she is blushing darkly and scrambling to keep up with him, he’s confident and self-assured, yet not so openly cocky that he’s scaring her off. Rei is still at a loss for words as she lowers her arms and her bra with them. It is scary, really, because she’s never been this vulnerable in front of a man her age before, or any man really, but she trusts that he’ll be gentle with her, that he’ll respect her boundaries. He takes the garment and throws it away without a care, but he’s very careful when he cups a breast in his hand, and she frowns a bit at how big his hand is compared to her chest, when he carefully squeezes. She shivers but settles more firmly against Uta as her hands grip his elbows, trying to relax. Uta exhales and brings his other hand up to her other breast. She moans when he pinches a nipple between his fingers. She’s done this herself a couple of times, she’s not entirely new to this, but it is still a completely new experience because this is not her hands. These are Uta’s hands, she’s not the one controlling them, she doesn’t know what he’s thinking right now.

 

“Oh!” She gasps when his mouth joins in. Her hands move from his arms to his hair and shoulders and she tugs him closer as he licks, sucks and lightly bites. No one’s done _that_ to her before and she is unable to keep quiet, and she is _loud_ , Uta enjoys that. One hand moves up her back, and then he drags his nails down her back and she presses even closer to him until there’s no space left between them. He is careful to make sure that she is enjoying it, that she isn’t frightened by what he does to her. His hand moves down into her underwear and her head falls forward, forehead colliding with his shoulder.

 

“That, I-“ She stammers, cheeks flushed.

 

“You’re so wet, Rei-san.” He teases against her ear and she squeaks, mortified.

 

“ _That’s-_ “

 

“Embarrassing? Not really, it’s reassuring to me.” He says and slips a finger in as he kisses her shoulder.

 

“You enjoy me doing this to you as much as I enjoy pleasing you. Do you want me to stop?”

 

It is so unfair. Rei thinks this is so utterly unfair. Uta is so calm and speaking with such a level voice while she’s a panting mess.

 

“No. A little… a little more.” She breathes out. He’s teasing her because she can do better herself than he is right now, and when she leans back, she sees that infuriating smirk on his face again. She pulls on his hair as she lifts herself up a bit, staring down at him in a way she hopes shows a bit of dominance, that she’s appearing to be a bit more in control of herself and not a blubbering mess. She narrows her eyes at him as he tilts his head.

 

“You can do better than that.” She demands, and his eyes widen in surprise, but then he’s grinning again, and proves that, yes, yes he can do much better. He turns them over, so she’s sprawled out on her back, and moves down to settle between her legs, tongue poking out as he pulls her underwear off completely. Rei’s surprised by where he has positioned himself, and just stares, until she realizes he’s waiting for her approval. So she shakily nods. She is pretty sure she screams his name, and the way he’s using both his fingers and mouth has her vision whiting in the matter of moments. His free hand holds her hips down as she comes, and he continues to lick until she’s nearly begging him to stop. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand as he sits up to take in the sight before him. The way her chest is heaving for breath, how her short hair is splayed out around her head like a halo… Too bad it is so dark, or else he would have been able to see the flush on her skin much better.

 

“You’re beautiful, Rei-san.” He sighs his assurances as he pulls himself up to lay beside her, but he is unsure of whether or not she hears him speak. Her eyes are still closed but she’s not making a sound, other than her heavy breathing. He loves the sounds she had made, he wants to hear more of them but not tonight. He doesn’t want to cross another line, because he’s sure he’s already crossed one Rei might not have been ready for, and he feels bad about it. Then her eyes open and she turns her head towards him first, then the rest of her body, one hand slowly, cautiously, landing on his thigh. He blinks.

 

“Show me how.” Her movements may have been slow, might seem insecure, but her voice is steady. She’s not uncomfortable, she’s not afraid, she actually appears more confident now than when they began.

 

“You sure?” He asks and she nods.

 

“It’s not fair to me if you don’t.” So he guides her after undressing himself completely, guides her speed and strength of grip. She is a bit unsure in the beginning, surprised over many things, like the fact that Uta is rather loud too, the way he closes his eyes when it becomes too much, that he can become a right mess like she did when he tips over the edge. It makes her feel less conscious about her own reactions, knowing that he is almost the same when he is on the receiving end. She enjoys the cuddling that happens afterwards, the way hands drift over flushed skin and silent murmurs of satisfaction and adoration and sighs are the only things breaking the silence. That in itself is almost more intimate than what they just did to each other, and it makes her feel okay with it, knowing that Uta isn’t the kind of guy to turn around and just fall asleep afterwards, but instead holding her close and enjoying the closeness.

 

Because that is what she needs too.


	7. Trial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rei never thought she would come this far. 
> 
> But here she is

She’d be lying if she said she isn’t absolutely terrified of going into the giant room, where a judge, guards, a jury, her friends, an audience, her lawyer and-

 

“Are you alright, Fujioka-san?” She jumps when a hand lands on her shoulder and she looks up at her lawyer, who is smiling gently down at her.

 

“Would you… believe me if I said yes?” She asks him quietly, adjusting her glasses nervously, and the man hums.

 

“Hm, no. But it is understandable. Don’t worry, we will win this.”

 

“Thank you, Donato-san.” He pats her shoulder and gestures for her to walk with him as they enter the courtroom. She’s already met with Itori, Renji and Tsumugi, and left Uta behind with them. Seeing them again had made her feel slightly better, but she had needed Itori’s help in hiding the dark circles around her eyes so that she won’t broadcast how badly she’s slept the last few days. Still, knowing they are going to be in there too, when it all begins, makes her feel better all the same. Safer, in a way. They aren’t the first ones in, her uncle and his lawyer are both already there, along with security. She feels herself shrink as the man gives her the angriest glare she’s ever seen on his face before, but Donato takes a step ahead of her and shields her from her abuser’s sight. She’s thankful for him, and Rei wonders where Itori found this man. She takes a seat by their table and listens to Donato’s advice as he opens his suitcase and brings out his papers, as he tells her what is about to happen, and what he wants her to do.

 

What he expects of her.

 

She nods, listens with rapt attention because this man is her last lifeline. This man is the one standing between her and her abuser. He is the one who must ensure that her uncle is clapped in irons and taken far away from her.

 

“Don’t hide your fear of him.” Donato tells her as the room is slowly filling up. She looks up, confused.

 

“This man abused you for the better part of a year, and in just that year he did enough to have you succumb to panic attacks at just the mere thought of him. Show the judge, the jury, everyone, exactly what he’s done to you.” She nods, because that is easier still than holding her head high and appear unfazed by everything. The judge enters as a guard calls for everyone to rise, and when said man sits down, Rei feels like the air is knocked out of her as _she_ sits down.

 

It is happening. It is really happening.

 

It is a whole lot harder than she thought it would be, sitting quietly beside Donato and biting the inside of her cheek to the point she nearly breaks the skin. She is listening to her guardian’s lawyer tell the judge that Rei is lying, only doing this because she craves attention, that his client has never once laid hands on her. He spews poetics about how she needs help, how her uncle is simply worried for her safety and wants her home, how he had feared she had been kidnapped only to realize she had ungratefully run away. The jury listens, and she is afraid they’ll believe him over her, because it is so easy to believe that a teenager does this to their guardian out of spite, isn’t it? She nearly screams when the man says that it is written in her father’s will that said man wished for his brother to be her guardian, and that she is trampling all over her father’s memory by doing this.

 

Rei loved her father with all her heart, and she refuses to believe that he wanted this hell for her.

 

“Do you have said testament with you? As evidence?” Donato asks and the lawyer nods.

 

“May I see it?”

 

“For whatever reason would I let you do that?” Donato raises a brow and looks up at the judge.

 

“If it is amongst the evidence, then we must be allowed to take a look, yes?”

 

“Show Porpora-san the will.” The judge is a scary man, Rei thinks, but at least he seems just. She also noticed that the longer the other lawyer spoke and waxed poetic about her guardian being a saint, the more his eyes narrowed. She hopes he believes her more than her uncle, that he has judged such cases before and knows how to discern the liars from the honest ones.

 

The other lawyer purses his lips but does as told because one cannot argue against the judge. Rei is curious too, because she’s never once seen her father’s written words about what is to be expected to be done after his eventual death. Her uncle never once let her see it, and she had thought it odd that she did not have a memory of the man who appeared and said he’d be her guardian. And why would her father leave her with a man who is so violent? A guard takes the papers and hand them over to Donato, who looks through them so quickly Rei can’t believe he is actually reading it properly, but then he stops, and taps a page with a finger.

 

“You honour, if I could request that you read this line here, and tell me if I am wrong about thinking something is out of order here?” Donato asks, and the judge waves him forward. The lawyer heads up to the man and points at a line. Rei didn’t get to see it before Donato left, but she feels scared all the same. Donato turns his head slightly and gives her a brief smile and her shoulders slump a bit. She is reassured. The judge scowls at the paper and looks up, turning his head towards the accused.

 

“I find this highly disturbing.” He says as he lays the papers down. “How a document, where the name of the appointed guardian is written with a completely different font style and even _size_ compared to the rest of the document _,_ passed through our system without someone noticing it and investigating it.” Something dark comes over her uncle’s eyes as he turns his head towards her and she can’t help but flinch, breath caught in her throat. She’s at home, and he’s going to hit her, he’s going to hit her, he’s going to hit her. There is nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. He’ll find her no matter where she goes. He’s going to hurt her so badly and she can’t fight. She’s scared, scared, scared, she doesn’t want to hurt anymore, she doesn’t want to be here, _someone help-_

She doesn’t even know she’s hyperventilating before Donato is back at their table, telling her to take deep, steadying breaths, and she remembers where she is.

 

He can’t attack her where they are now.

 

She does as told and when she looks up, Donato straightens up and requests a break. The judge allows it, thankfully. She is quickly brought out of the room, and she only allows herself to relax when she’s surrounded by her friends.

 

“Are you okay?” Itori asks uncertainly, brows furrowed together. She knows it’s a stupid question, but it’s the first thing that comes to mind. Rei isn’t okay, she is far from okay.

 

“I will be.” Rei smiles wanly. She’s already tired, and she wants to just hide away, to literally hide under her bed and hope no one finds her, but she can’t, because she has to be here. Because if things end in her favour here, she might be okay, someday.

 

“Just… someone, anyone, give me a hug.” She needs support, just something to distract her for a little bit. Itori nearly jumps at her and holds her tightly, and Rei finds herself so incredibly grateful to have them here with her.

 

“You’d best get him locked in, Porpora.” Tsumugi says sternly. “Or else I’ll go after him with my cane again.”

 

“I’d best get him locked up before you make good on your threat and I’ll have to work another case before I’m done with this one.” Donato replies before turning towards Rei.

 

“While I did tell you to not hide your fear, remember that he can’t get to you in here. Don’t forget that.” She nods. He is, in a somewhat nice way, trying to tell her to not fall into a fit again. It’s not like it’s all that easy to control, but she needs to keep in mind that there is security inside, and if he does attack her, then she wins anyway. But she can’t walk alone outside of the courtroom, this she must also remember. In there she is physically safe, but she still has to be very careful.

 

“Why are there so many people inside?” She asks. She knows only a few of the people inside the hall, and she doesn’t quite understand why there is so many people here.

 

“Journalists.” Donato explains. “Your guardian made a whole lot of noise when you disappeared, so the media is very involved. To them, this is a great show.”

 

“I don’t like that.” She mutters, because to her it is not a circus but her future, and the old man laughs.

 

“Nobody likes that. Now, we will be going through the evidence soon, perhaps not today, but soon. I’d like to think that we don’t need to use it all, but do you really want to use your vlogs if we have to?” The mere thought of them upset her, but she nods anyway. If x-rays, pictures of bruises and real-life panic attacks won’t help, she’ll use the videos. What was even the point of recording the videos if she’s not going to use them, if it can cost her the case?

 

“I made them for a reason, sir.” Donato seems pleased with her determination and nods.

 

“Good.” The older man said. The court resumes, and she’s put in the witness box along with her uncle. The questions the other lawyer throws her way are upsetting, she can’t think, and he twists her words to the point she nearly breaks down and starts crying. She looks to her friends as she feels the tears press on, and she can see a worried frown on Itori’s face, the scowl on Tsumugi’s face, the furrowed brows on Renji’s brow, and Uta… Uta looks tense, but he hides his emotions well, and he nods at her. In a way, that nod alone is encouraging, and she straightens her back and swallows, before she firmly tells her uncle’s lawyer, more like shouts at him, that she won’t stand for this.

 

“You’re twisting my words to fit your own agenda. The man abused me, I have no memory of meeting him as a child, and my father never once mentioned him. I didn’t even know he existed before he showed up when my father died! I get it, this is your job, you’re just doing your job, and congratulations, you’re good at it, but whatever you say, however you interpret my words when I say that my uncle hit me and kicked me, it doesn’t change the fact that he did! Interpret it however you want, but _I_ have the memories of the abuse, _I_ have cracks on my ribs from it, _I_ get _nightmares_ from it, _I_ am _afraid_ of going out on my own because of it, and whatever pretty words you use to turn this against me it doesn’t change the fact that _it_ _happened_!” She may have said, _shouted_ , too much, but at the very least the lawyer is silent now and appears to be out of questions.

 

He looks very affronted too and she takes that as a personal win. She is let down from the box and can go back to her own lawyer, who is supressing a smirk. She must be doing good, she thinks, since he isn’t berating her for what she has said. The judge calls out that they will continue the next day, as they all seem to be in need of a break. Rei thinks that it is more likely that they’re giving him a headache right now, but she is welcoming the break. She wants out of that room. They filter out of the room and she’s quick to catch Uta’s hand the moment they’re all out, because she doesn’t want to turn around and look at her uncle. She may just be a bit paranoid, but she feels like he’s staring at her.

 

“Let’s get out of here.” She says and is surrounded by her friends as they leave. They all go to Tsumugi’s house and she whips out some dinner for them all, as Donato goes through the strategy for the next day.

 

“We will be going through the evidence tomorrow. You will have to be there, Fujioka-san, but for the rest of you, you may opt to stay out.”

 

“We’ve already seen them all, there’s nothing new to see.” Renji says. He doesn’t mean it unkindly, even though his tone of voice is slightly harsh, and Rei grins, or attempts to. She’s pretty sure it’s more of a grimace than a smile, really.

 

“Thanks, Renji-kun.” He pauses, realizes he could have phrased his words differently, but nods anyway. What is done is done, what is said is said, and Rei understands because she’s known him for so long. Hearing him speak like this, not walking on egg-shells around her, makes it all feel a bit normal again. Rei likes normal. She _needs_ normal.

 

“But Uta-kun, you should stay outside tomorrow.” The dark-haired male blinks surprised at Rei’s words.

 

“I took a few days off work just so I could come with you. You said you wanted me here.” He argues, confused. And Rei does, she really wants his support, but she remembers the vlogs. He saw the x-rays only because he came with her, they’ve even called in the physician who helped her to witness on her behalf but Uta has never once seen the videos she recorded. She’d like it if he doesn’t ever have to see them.

 

“Tsumugi-san too. I don’t… I don’t want you to see them.” The mood which had been rather nice plummets as the old lady turns around, oh so slowly.

 

“I’m… I’m rather pathetic in them. I don’t want either of you to see me like that.” Rei says quietly, looking down into her lap, hands clamped together.

 

“Stupid girl!” Rei nearly falls off her chair in shock at the loud voice Tsumugi yells at her with. She’s never heard the old lady yell at her before, and it is startling. Even more so with the frightening speed with which the lady marches around the table to reach the young woman.

 

“I’ve seen every side of you there is since you were a baby, and my stupid grandson is the one who got you out of that house and helped you get to this point. I’ve known you since you were a little girl, babysat you when your father had late shifts at work, helped you out with your schoolwork and sewed you your costumes for the festivals and plays. I even made your first damn yukata!” Rei blinks, speechless, as the old lady nearly breathes fire through her nose.

 

“I don’t care how pathetic you think you look in those videos. You’re going to show them because you believe they will help set you free. You didn’t record them because you were afraid, you recorded them because you intended to take up the fight. And I want to see that! I want to see _that_ Rei!” Rei leans back, actually quite frightened with the old lady.

 

“O-okay.” What else can she say to Tsumugi’s declaration?

 

“I’ll be in the room, you can’t keep me out. But if you want me to close my eyes and cover my ears, I’ll do that. Though I want to see too, what he really did.” Uta says in a much calmer tone as he pulls his grandmother away from his girlfriend. Rei looks far from comfortable with it, but she nods reluctantly nonetheless. She can’t force them to stay out, especially not after all the help they have given her, the support they have shown her.

 

“Just… promise me one thing, Tsumugi-san.” Rei says quietly. “Just promise you won’t attack him with your cane afterwards.” She tries to joke and there is a round of awkward, quiet laughter around the table.

 

“I promise, girl.” Tsumugi says as she moves back towards the stove.

 

The next day, when the videos are being shown, Tsumugi finds it very hard to keep that promise and hands Uta her cane so she can’t reach it. Rei sits at the front with a lowered head, not wanting to watch herself what she experienced as the videos are being played. In the vlogs she has cried, sobbed, screamed, torn at her hair, carefully tried to tend to her bruises and even thrown up all over herself. They are past that point now, now there is only resignation. Rei on the screen is standing up, lifting her shirt, and the bruises littering her body are dark, hideous. And there are so many of them.

 

 _“He always makes sure to hit in places that can be hidden. He hit so hard I threw up today, so he kicked me for throwing up.”_ Her voice is hoarse, sounding like she’s been crying and screaming for hours until her voice just gave up on her. The shirt is dropped as she carefully sits down in her chair, grimacing at the pain shooting through her.

 

“ _Itori-chan kept asking me why I am skipping P.E. If only she knew.”_ The Rei on the screen laughs humourlessly, only to wince and take deep breaths in a useless attempt at feeling better.

 

‘ _Yes,’_ Uta thinks, ‘ _if only we knew.’_ A new one comes on.

 

 _‘Hah, he actually hit my face today. I can’t cover the swelling with make-up, so I’m staying home until my face looks normal.’_ Those three days Rei called in sick, Uta realizes. She looks horrible in the video, and the worst part is that she’s grimacing hopelessly at the camera. He thinks she’s attempting a smile there, truthfully, but her face must hurt too much to be able to actually pull through on the action.

 

“ _The police ignored my call again and he threatened my friends, threatened to hurt Tsumugi-san too..._ ” She releases a bitter laugh before wincing, gingerly touching the edges of her swollen eye.

 

 _“There’s no way out of this hell, is there?”_ There’s the sound of heavy footsteps in the background and the girl looks nearly panicked as she hurries to turn off the camera and shut off the computer. Then the last one is shown to them, and she looks terrified in it as she sits in the chair. She’s wearing the clothes she wore the day they ran away, Uta realizes, and sits up a bit straighter.

 

 _“I’m leaving. I’m running away. I have the opportunity, so I’m taking it, at least until I can get this all solved. I’m leaving all these vlogs and the x-rays Uta-kun went with me to take with you, Itori-chan. Please, please help me find a way home again. Someone, make my home safe again, please.”_ They can hear yelling in the background, and Rei seem to come to a horrifying realization as she bolts to her feet just as the door opens and her uncle barges in, looking enraged beyond measure. He hits her, Rei falls with a scream, but as he reaches for the computer Rei jumps to her feet, pushes him away and reaches for the computer herself. Everything turns dark, and that’s the end of it all. The compilation of video-recordings is finished. Uta finally realizes why she had been so late that day they ran away. There is a silence, before the judge straightens his back properly and clears his throat.

 

“I believe we can all agree that what we just watched confirmed what Fujioka-san has been trying to tell us since we first sat down.” Rei chances a glance at her uncle, she can see how his teeth grit, the strain in his neck. He is angry, he knows this isn’t going his way, that no matter what he says, she is winning.

 

She is _winning_.

 

“Your honour, all of those footages might have been forged-“

 

“How? They are raw files from a memory stick, with no editing in its memory.” The judge raises a brow, interested to hear the lawyer’s explanation but the man shuts his mouth and sits down.

 

“The jury will now be-“

 

“Your honour!” The judge looks _very_ annoyed with this man now but releases a deep breath and answers.

 

“ _Yes?_ ”

 

“There is the matter of the x-rays! The doctor who took them have been called in as a witness. I wish to ask him a few questions.” The judge nods, and Rei is worried again. The doctor in question walks up to the box and takes a seat. Her guardian’s lawyer asks him a series of questions about the x-rays, and Rei feels her happiness disappear.

 

Can her guardian’s lawyer turn everything around with just questioning the doctor about her file?

 

“Is it possible that some of these injuries are self-inflicted?”

 

“Of course.” The doctor says, and Rei feels her heart plummet. “If she could levitate herself with telepathy, turn herself sideways and throws herself at a door with the strength of a fully grown man.” There’s a row of quiet chuckles and stifled laughter in the room, and the judge allows it for a few seconds before demanding silence. The lawyer is red-faced as the doctor is allowed out of the box, with a warning, and Rei can’t help but throw the man a thankful smile as he walks by. This time the judge firmly tells everyone that there will be a break so that a judgement will be made. They can’t leave the room, the only thing Rei can do, is listen to Donato tell her that this will definitively go their way. There is absolutely no way that they can lose this. She turns her head to look at the group in the back, and while she can see that they quickly change their expressions into encouraging smiles and thumbs up, she is still worried. It takes hours, and she can feel her chest tighten the longer they have to wait. It’s hard to breathe, and she makes the mistake of looking in the direction of her uncle. He’s smiling.

 

And she almost succumbs to a panic attack.

 

“He is just trying to scare you. He has absolutely nothing.” Donato lays a hand on her shoulder and she wheezes, trying to catch her breath as she clings to that hand, tries to ground herself.  

 

“Deep breaths, Fujioka-san. After this, you’re free.” How can he know this, she thinks? Her uncle has always outwitted her, no matter what she did, he always outwitted her. Everything has been going far too smoothly, hasn’t it? When the judge and jury come back out, she’s going to be explained that no matter how much she struggles, she will never win, she won’t-

 

The door opens and said people come back into the room. Some of them wear grim expressions, and she doesn't quite know what to make of that, but there is this sinking feeling in her gut that tells her that no matter what the outcome, she can't change the verdict coming. This is happening. 

 

It is time.


	8. An Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that could have gone better, couldn't it?

She can’t hear much, but she knows it’s over.

 

The noise is drowned out by the sheer disbelief she feels at the judge’s words.

 

It’s over. Tears silently fall down her cheeks as she stares up at the judge who is already getting up from his seat.

 

It’s over.

 

She can’t hear Donato speak to her, can’t even hear the sound of people getting up from their seats, the clicking sounds of the journalists snapping photos, can’t even hear the yelling of her uncle until Donato grabs her shoulder. She jerks and looks up at the smirk on his face.

 

“I told you we would win.” She can’t help it or control it. She surges to her feet and hugs him, nearly bawling in relief. She _did_ win, she is free. Her uncle gets twenty years in prison, a heavy sentence to be sure, much worse than Rei ever anticipated he would get, and a restraining order is set on him too. He is never allowed near her again. She doesn’t have to worry about him ever again. It is all over.

 

“Thank you! _Thank you!”_ She blubbers, words lost in translation amongst her tears and sobs, but he probably understands as he pats her back. She is just so relieved she feels like she can fall over right then and there.

 

“Come now, we need to leave.” Donato says as he pulls back and proceeds to compile his papers and stuff it all back in his suitcase, before he beckons her to walk beside him.

 

“You won’t get away with this, Rei!” Her uncle yells and she stops, looking back at him. He is still scary, she is terrified, but none of that detracts from the fact that she won. _She. Won._ And he can’t hurt her again, no matter what she does or says, and this knowledge gives her a small surge of courage.

 

“I already have, haven’t I?” And then she turns quickly back around and walks with Donato down the aisle and out of the courtroom. A heavy weight disappears from her shoulders as she passes the doorway and she exhales.

 

“That was stupid of me.” She says quietly, but Donato just laughs.

 

“It was courageous of you. You stood up to him yet again.” He assures her and she smiles weakly.

 

“It still felt stupid.”

 

“Rei-chan!” She looks up and is nearly run down by Itori, who is laughing so loudly and hugging her so tightly the white-haired girl can barely breathe. The others are right behind her, and the relief she sees is rather calming.

 

“Thank you.” Rei breaks down, hugging Itori back just as tight but keeping her eyes on the others behind her. “Thank you all so much.”

 

That night, she’s curled up against Uta, who’s laying on his back, arm behind his head. She feels more at ease than she’s done for over a year. And exhausted too. Before she knows it, she’s crying again, and Uta turns onto his side, wiping the tears as best as he can, worried that she’s having a fit. She’s had a lot of those over the last few days, the stress and terror having taken a solid hold of her. He had hoped she would be better now, though.

 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He asks quietly and she shakes her head.

 

“N-nothing, I’m just so happy.” She tells him, startled that he is awake. The tears dry up quickly and Uta falls onto his back again, eyes closing. Rei feels that while she is tired, she is not at all sleepy. Perhaps her body’s tiredness is because she is so relieved that it is all over, finally letting go of all the tension, stress and worry and realizing how taxing it was to feel all those things. At the very same time, she doesn’t feel like going to sleep, or that she can fall asleep even if she wants to. She tilts her head up, sees Uta looking rather relaxed. She wonders if he fell asleep. She pulls herself up a bit, hovering over him.

 

“Are you still awake?” She asks quietly and he cracks an eye open. “Are you… sleepy?” She asks uncertainly and sighs in relief when he shakes his head.

 

“No, I’m actually quite awake.” She turns onto her stomach, her elbows holding her up so she can properly look at him. She regards him for a moment, and he waits for her to speak again.

 

“Are you happy too?”

 

“Very.” She smiles at his reply, pushing her hair out of her face. Things are finally falling in place, she can finally look towards a normal future, instead of being on the run forever. It is almost scary how quickly things can turn right again.

 

“Mhm. Now you get to go to Kyoto, and I get to attend MODE.” He hums, a hand moving up to rest on her back, scratching gently.

 

“Things will go back to normal.” While it excites her, it also saddens her a bit. She’s so used to being with him all the time, now she’s kind of wondering how bad it will feel when the time comes for them to walk their separate ways while studying in college. How lonely will she feel until she gets used to it? Will Uta feel lonely too? She pulls herself up completely, sitting on her legs as she stares down at him.

 

“Did I ever thank you for saving me?” They both know she has, and he chuckles.

 

“So many times. And it was a team effort.” He tells her and she giggles.

        

“Right. I need to thank them all properly. Again. I’ll probably go about apologizing and thanking you guys for the rest of my life.”

 

“Please don’t do that. It’ll be annoying in the end.” He groans, but he’s smiling, so she’s not taking him too seriously. She leans forward, lets her hands rest on either side of his face before she leans down. Her hair is a bit in the way, but she doesn’t care as she pecks his lips with several chaste kisses. When she pulls back, he follows, getting up on his elbows and she giggles as he kisses her back. She pulls her hair back properly, moves a bit to be more comfortable as she pushes him down again. They breathe harshly when they break the kiss, only to surge back in.

 

“I want you.” Rei breathes between kisses and Uta groans.

 

“Rei-san-“ He warns her, isn’t sure she does want to go as far as she implies, that it is all simply the relief of being free from her uncle, but she cuts him off.

 

“I _want_ you.” She says again, pushing herself to sit upright before she pulls off her sleep-shirt and pulls his hands up to her bare chest. She wants him, because now she knows for sure that she is free, has nothing more to be afraid of. There is nothing holding her back from going further, and Uta has showed more than enough restraint for her sake. She wants him, and she wants him now. As long as he doesn’t explicitly tell her he doesn’t want to do it with her now, she’ll ask him again and again until he agrees. Because she isn’t just saying it randomly, it isn’t a spur of the moment thing, and he needs to know she means it.

 

“Please.” Uta needs no more prompting once he knows she’s sure. He sits up straight, one arm wrapping around her and holding her close to himself while the other tangles in her hair as he kisses her again. She smiles into the kiss, her own hands tugging on his hair to keep him close too. She tugs on his top and helps him get rid of it, before she shuffles back to get rid of her pants and underwear. The books Hitomi lent her made it all sound so effortless and sexy, but Rei has long since realized that those books don’t actually portray these situations properly, or quite truthfully. There’s nothing graceful or effortless or even sexy with the way she quickly undresses herself before crawling back onto the bed. Uta’s discarded his clothes as well, much quicker than her and is rummaging through the drawer by the bed before he pulls her to lay beside him, and the pace slows down as he just rubs her arm.

 

He's not asking her again if she’s sure, but he is taking his time as he turns her onto her back and begins kissing her. Even though they have undressed and been intimate with each other several times before in ways that made her more confident in herself, back at their little apartment, this is the first time they will actually go all the way, as they say, and so Rei is nervous. Not because she is naked, she is not insecure about her own body in Uta’s eyes because he’s shown her time and again what he thinks of her. She’s nervous because she hasn’t done this before, but she wants it. So she kisses him back, allows him to distract her from what he’s doing next. He nudges her legs apart with his knee, hovers over as he trails kisses across her jaw and down her neck as a finger glides over her folds. She makes a noise, runs her hands up and down his back, fingers tracing the outline of his vertebrae as she feels him slip a finger in, then a second.

 

She pants quietly as he stretches her, feels his teeth graze over her chest before he raises his head.

 

“You okay?” He asks quietly and she nods, gasping and arching her back as he curls his fingers.

 

“Does that feel good?” She cracks and eye open, ready to tell him to wipe his smirk off of his face, but pauses, because he’s not smirking at her, or even smiling. He’s honestly asking her, even though he should know what she feels now.

 

“Yes.” She tells him breathily, glancing down before quickly looking up again. It all seems so new to her, even though it isn’t.

 

“Can you…?”

 

“Not yet.” He swallows, and curls his fingers and she arches her back, because she really is starting to get overwhelmed with the pleasurable sensations.

 

“Wait, wait, I’m, ngh-“

 

“It’s alright.” He says and she cries out silently as she topples over the edge. As she comes down from her high, Uta reaches for the condom he left on the bedside table, opens the package and rolls it on, before he grabs her thighs and shuffles closer. He waits for Rei to give him the okay. Rei’s blood pounds in her ears so loudly she almost doesn’t hear him tell her to stop him if it hurts too much, but she nods when she realizes he won’t do anything until she answers him. It’s sweet of him, being so reassuring when she feels like her heart is about to burst from her chest, and she pulls him down and kisses him again, trying to distract herself from the feeling of being stretched and filled.

 

She flinches, and pulls away, clenching her eyes shut and Uta stops moving, pulling back.

 

“Does it hurt?”

 

“No.” She shakes her head, exhaling.

 

“Don’t play tough.” He mutters, leaning down, trying to discern her expression and she breathes in deep, then exhales again.

 

“It really doesn’t. It barely stings, but it’s a _bit_ uncomfortable. It’s… _new_.” She admits, shifting a bit, spreads her legs a bit more before she grabs his shoulders and gives him the okay to move again. He kisses her again, down her jawline and throat, breathing heavily against her skin as his free hand slips behind her back and slightly pulling her up.

 

It’s not painful. She always thought it would be. It’s nothing like how romance novels describe it either, like a never-ending building pleasure, but she never expected it to be like that, because she had found the courage to ask Hitomi how it all would really be, so she’d be prepared for it. She expected it to be painful the first time, and slowly get better as they engage in the activity more often after the first time, but it is not. It is uncomfortable, but it fades quickly, and she watches Uta move, how he tries to keep eye-contact with her before it’s too much, and his head falls forward as he clenches his eyes tightly shut and his hair falls down like a curtain.

 

Rei moves his hair aside so she can see, see the flush on his cheeks, can properly hear him as he asks how it feels for her.

 

“It’s good.” She murmurs honestly, one hand cupping his face as she leans up to kiss him again. It is exhilarating, really, looking at him like this. He is usually so composed, but not now and Rei wonders if he’s been anticipating this as much as she has.

 

“Is it good for you too?” She asks and he nods, a gasp escaping him as his hips bucks against her faster, harder.

 

“Yeah!” She watches him come undone, releasing a loud moan as he comes and collapses over her. She runs one hand up and down his spine, the other brushing his hair from his face as he struggles to regain his breath. It’s cute, seeing him so vulnerable like this, and she plants a kiss on his forehead, feeling quite content like this. She can feel his heartbeat slow down and hears his breathing evening out before he tilts his head to look up at her.

 

“You okay?” He asks so quietly she almost misses it. She hums, nodding. Uta lifts himself up and moves back, and there’s a loud squelching sound as he pulls out and Rei feels her face burn. The sound is lewd and she covers her red face, finding it hilarious that she just had sex with him, and enjoyed it, but _that_ sound makes her feel like curling up in embarrassment.

 

“What’s wrong?” He asks as a giggle escapes her and she shakes her head.

 

“Nothing, nothing.” She says and stretches, only to flinch as her body protests the motion.

 

“Oh shit.” Uta mutters and Rei frowns, following his line of sight and blinks.

 

“Oh.” The white sheets are not so white between her legs and she pulls herself up a bit. She’s bled. A lot. Her thighs are covered.

 

“Um, we have to wash this, now. _I_ have to wash myself” She says and slips off the bed, starting to remove the sheet. Her legs aren’t quite agreeing with her standing up, but she ignores the discomfort.

 

“Where can I find clean ones?”

 

“Laundry room.” Uta mutters as he pulls on his pyjama pants and Rei follows suit, deciding to help him start up the machine before she cleans herself up. They tip-toe down the stairs, into the laundry room and attempt at looking for clean sheets. Uta finds them, and Rei attempts at finding the washing powder after she’s pushed the dirty sheets into the washing machine, but she can’t seem to locate it.

 

“It won’t wake Tsumugi-san? When we start it up?” She asks Uta quietly who shakes his head.

 

“You could drop a bomb outside the front door and she wouldn’t even stir.” He assures her.

 

“I can’t find any powder though.” Rei frowns, and suddenly the room lights up and the both of them freeze up.

 

“I’m out of washing powder, but I’ll go shopping tomorrow morning.” Tsumugi says dryly from behind them and both Uta and Rei turn around slowly, mouths hanging open in shock.

 

“Are you going to stand there all night?” She barks and the two race by her and up the stairs again, slamming the door behind them. Rei is mortified, really, embarrassed beyond belief. And she doesn’t dare go to the bathroom to clean up now.

 

Uta… Uta just starts laughing, holding his sides as he doubles over. She stares at him, before she feels laughter bubble up in her own throat and she giggles too.


	9. New Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rei had forgotten just how cruel Uta could be with his words

Rei and Uta are enjoying their last few months in their shared apartment before school starts up again. Rei is still going to Daisuke’s shop for her lessons, and Uta is working full-time at the café to earn some money on the side for when he moves to Kyoto.

 

It’s mostly peaceful, and despite the fact that everyone in the little town now knows who Uta and Rei are and why they had “eloped” in the first place thanks to the media coverage of Rei’s trial, they are respectful enough not to ask questions, and carries on like they had before the entire ordeal. Except for their landlady. She has insisted that they stay at least their last month free of charge, and look at it as her congratulating them on their victory in court. Rei enjoys it, this normal and quiet lifestyle they have, and is both looking forward to and dreading the thought of starting up school again.

 

She looks forward to it because she finally gets to study to become a proper hairdresser as it means she’s moving on with her life, but dreads it at the same time because it means she and Uta will have a long-distance relationship. That makes it a bit bitter-sweet, considering she’s so used to being with him all the time.

 

What she can do without, though, is the endless calls from several media platforms, asking for an interview. She has no interest in doing that. She can agree to go out with a statement on how important it is to find help immediately, because no matter what one does, no one deserves to be beaten by their guardian.

 

She is now sitting at a table at the café, enjoying a cup of coffee and a book as she waits for Uta to be done with his shift. She glances at the clock, notes that it’s around an hour left at least, and wonders if she should indulge herself. She gains a waiter’s attention just as a group of women Rei’s never seen before enters. She has found herself a game while she waits during the vacation; To see if she can make up scenarios as to why people she’s never seen before are in the town.

 

These look like a group of friends doing a road-trip.

 

“Is there anything you’d like while you wait, Fujioka-san?” The waiter asks and she smiles.

 

“A slice of chocolate cake, please, oh, with some ice-cream on the side.” She smiles and the waiter nods, leaving to fetch what the younger woman requested. Rei finds it easier to enjoy herself now that her uncle is locked away, as she now doesn’t have to worry about him finding her, because she’s not running anymore. Anxiety and panic attacks happen every now and then, but it’s easier to ground herself now that her main worry is gone.

 

Uta is nearly done by the time she’s done with her cake and ice-cream. He’s behind the counter now, chatting with Koma, throwing a rag over his shoulder. His hair is slightly curled, from her playing around with it the night before with her hair straightener. It’s oddly attractive on him, and so unlike the straight locks they usually are. Rei thinks she should curl his hair more often. Perhaps even braid it. He’d look good with braids.

 

She watches as her boyfriend glances her way and winks, and she grins back at him. It’s nice, this domestic life they’ve led, and she hopes they’ll be able to get back to it later, once they are both done with school. She sees him disappear into the backroom and Rei hurries to finish the treat she has ordered. The group of women who had entered as Rei had ordered the treat head up to the counter, probably to pay and be on their way as there isn’t all that much to see here, Rei doesn’t think too much about it as she puts her book in her bag. Uta exits as she does this and heads over to the counter too.

 

“Koma-san, the bill, please.” He says as he pulls out his wallet. One of the women turn towards Uta, a charming smile on her face.

 

“Hello.” Uta looks up, not quite sure why this woman is talking to him, but he smiles pleasantly back at her, as it is the polite thing to do.

 

“Hello.” He turns back to Koma who hands him the bill. He pulls out the cash for Rei’s coffee and cake, handing it over to the redheaded man on the other side of the counter.

 

“Where are you off to in such a hurry?” The woman asks. Uta turns towards her again as he waits for Koma to return with his change. She’s pretty enough with long dark hair and startling blue eyes, no wait, those are coloured contact lenses. Pretty, but not stunning, not to him at least. He can hear her flirty tone of voice, he’s just not sure why she is speaking to him. She isn’t someone who lives in this town where everyone knows everyone. Tourists, he guesses, but answers because it is the polite thing to do.

 

“Take-out night.” He answers simply and her smile widens.

 

“Take me out tonight, why don’t you?” He blinks at the bold statement.

 

“That would be awkward.” He answers as Koma finally returns with the money.

 

“Why would it be awkward?” The woman asks, still all smiles, though it dims a bit when Rei appears, bumping her shoulder into his arm.

 

“You ready to go?”

 

“Yup.” He tells her, one of his hands gripping hers comfortably. The woman blinks, looking Rei up and down before she opens her mouth again.

 

“The pig who gorged herself on cake?” Rei’s jaw drop, then her face turns a flaming red in anger, embarrassment and shame. Angry that this stranger called her a pig, embarrassed that it happened in front of people she knows and Uta, and ashamed because she knows she’s put on a bit of weight, but it never actually bothered her before now. Unconsciously she tugs at the hem of her shirt and wonders if her clothes seem too tight on her, like her body is straining against the fabrics in an unseemly way even though it doesn’t feel that way. She can feel Uta’s grip on her hand tighten and she looks up just in time to see him smile disturbingly at the woman, his voice chillingly cold.

 

“No wonder you cover yourself with such a heavy layer of make-up.” He begins and Rei knows that this isn’t going to be pretty no matter how polite his voice sounds. She tugs on his hand subtly, but he appears to not notice.

 

“It’s to hide how ugly a person you are.”

 

“Uta-kun!” She exclaims, horrified, while the other woman’s jaw drop. The stranger might have said something very rude to the white-haired girl, but what Uta said is downright horrible. The raven-haired man doesn’t defend himself nor does he even pause to look at the woman again or her group of friends as he pulls Rei with him.

 

“Uta-kun, apologize-“

 

“No.” Uta cuts her off as he pulls her outside. “She was incredibly rude to you even though she doesn’t know you. For what reason should I apologize?”

 

“Because you were no better!” She exclaims and he stops, looking at her for a second before speaking again.

 

“Let’s agree to disagree. She was rude, I answered in kind, end of story.” She huffs, because she knows she won’t win this discussion. She can argue all she wants but he won’t give ground on this. Instead she drops it and asks what the woman wanted with him.

 

“She was flirting with me, I think.” Rei blinks, but can’t exactly fault the woman for wanting to flirt with Uta. Rei herself thinks he’s cute and handsome, despite the multitude of piercings and tattoos covering him. For some, they can be a turn-off, but Rei thinks they just accentuate his looks and personality even more.

 

“You’re not jealous?” Uta asks as they walk down the street.

 

“Why should I be? You wouldn’t dare cheat on me.” She shrugs and he cocks his head to the side.

 

“That sounded so cold, Rei-san. Shouldn’t it be; I _care_ too much about you to cheat on you?”

 

“Hm, you think so?” She grins mischievously up at him and he shakes his head the moment he realizes she’s just pulling his leg.

 

“That’s not nice, Rei-san.”

 

“Says you?” She raises a brow and he huffs in mock-annoyance, but doesn’t say anymore on it. Once they get home they order some food, and watches old reruns of a popular drama Rei loves to watch because it reminds her of her evenings with her father. Rei slides down and rests her head in his lap and shifts a bit to find a comfortable position. Uta laughs a bit at her struggle before falling quiet as she finally lays still. She fidgets every now and then though, and he looks down to see her tug and pull at her shirt further down and he raises a brow. She lets go, and focuses on the television screen again and he does the same, but when she does the same action again and again every time she shifts and her shirt rides up a little bit, he leans forward and turns off the sound of the tv, tilting his head at her.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“Hm? What?” She asks, sounding distracted as she reaches for the remote in an attempt at turning the sound back on. He holds it out of reach.

 

“Why are you pulling on your shirt?” It’s not something he would have pointed out if it isn’t for the way she keeps on pulling it down every time she moves a bit, like she is bothered, and he wants to know what is wrong.

 

“Nothing.” She shrugs, but he doesn’t believe her and raises a brow as he leans back to hold the remote even further up. She frowns, giving up on her attempts at reclaiming it and lies still.

 

“My shirt keeps riding up, is all.” She mutters and his frown deepens.

 

“You’re not thinking about what that woman said earlier, are you?” If her reaction to his question is any indication, he thinks, then she _is_ thinking about that cruel comment and he exhales. It is foolish. The woman doesn’t know Rei, doesn’t know who she is, and her comment was thoughtless and cruel and he should have known it would stick with her because the slightest little thing that can have a negative impact on her self-esteem usually has her take a few steps back and lose some of the progress she’s made.

 

And then she has to start over.

 

“Maybe a little bit.” She admits, averting her eyes and tugging on the hem of her shirt again.

 

“Do you… Do you think I’m getting a bit, um, fat, Uta-kun?” He blinks, before tugging on her shirt and she pushes his hand away in an almost automatic and choppy move.

 

“I like you better now.” He admits.

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“When we ran away, and every day up until the trial, you didn’t eat much. You were too thin, really. It looked like your skin was stretched thin over your ribs and hips. Maybe you didn’t think much of it, but you didn’t eat nearly enough, and you looked a bit sickly.” He says and she frowns, sitting up and turning her back to him. She doesn’t like hearing that and wraps her arms around herself. If that is what he really thinks, then why did he say she was pretty back then? If she was too thin for him back then, why did he tell her he liked her and she was pretty? Why did he praise her appearance, body, anything?

 

“You’re taking it the wrong way.” He sighs, reaching out to touch her shoulder but she flinches away and he pauses.

 

“In what way am I supposed to take it?” She asks quietly and he rests his elbow in his knee, dropping his head into his palm.

 

“That I don’t think you are fat. I think you’re healthy looking, and this-“ He yanks her back suddenly and she yelps, trying to wriggle free but he holds her too tight, as one hand claps her hip, then tickles across her stomach and she shrieks at the sensation. 

 

“- is attractive. More to love, really.” He punctuates and she pushes him back, not really believing him just yet. Uta’s good at talking, and she’s no stranger to the effect he can have, so she fixes him with a glare. He stares back, before sighing and pulling her to sit upright in his lap, leaning back enough to properly look her in the eye.

 

“Rei-san, don’t think about what that woman said, because it’s not true. You look just like you should, healthy, happy and normal. Your clothes fit you properly, which makes it a whole lot more desirable to rip them off-”

 

“Okay, okay!” She pushes his hands away and gets up on her feet, removing the hair from her face as she huffs. She is still frowning, and Uta wonders if she does believe him but still struggles a bit with being comfortable about the subject herself, or if she just thinks he’s sweet-talking her. Uta is honest though, and he’ll tell her until she actually believes him. He finds it nice to just feel her ribs beneath her skin, instead of seeing them prominently. It’s great to see her cheeks filled out, that she doesn’t look like she’ll snap in half if the wind breezes by her. She opens her mouth, closes it, looks away. She appears conflicted, and he stands up.

 

“Rei-san.” She startles when he grabs her hand and lifts it, rubbing his thumbs over the back of it. He doesn’t say anything more, he just stares at her and while it’s a slow realization, she does understand that this is him showing her that he’s looking at her. There is nothing in his expression or posture that tells her he is dissatisfied with anything, and it makes it a little easier to accept his words. She hangs her head and sniffs.

 

“Sorry.”

 

“Don’t say sorry.” He tells her, shuffling closer, letting her rest against him.

 

“Even though I’m saying that I like the way you look now, it doesn’t mean you have to. If you feel dissatisfied, then do what you want to feel satisfied with yourself. Just don’t do it because you think I want it. Do it because _you_ want it, okay?”

 

“Okay. I’m sorry I’m so annoying.” He pulls back a bit and lifts her chin, making her look at him.

 

“You’re not annoying.” They still have a long way to go when it comes to rebuilding her confidence, but they have all the time in the world. He’d rather build it up slowly with strong foundations, rather than doing it quickly and leaving it so brittle it can evaporate in seconds.

 

“It’s okay to be vulnerable, it’s okay to be uncertain about some things, but you can talk to me, you know. I want that, for you to confide in me if you’re worried or wondering about what I want or think. I want you to rely on me.”

 

“I rely on you a lot already.” She mumbles.

 

“Not like that. I want you to believe that you can talk to me, whatever it is, and that I’ll listen to you, because I will.”

 

“I’ll try.” She promises. She can’t give him much more than that, because it will take time for her to be able to think like that. Weeks, months, maybe even years. But she’ll get there, he truly believes she will, as long as he, Itori, Renji and everyone else who loves her can support her as she works through it all.

 

“It’s only a week left.” She says quietly, and he nods.

 

“One week.” He confirms. “But it’s not bad. We’re just starting over. It’s only for a short while.” It’s not exactly short, Rei won’t agree on that, but he is right in that they are starting over. It’s what she wanted in the first place, after all. A new chapter in her life that’s all hers.


	10. Visit

With a little bit of help from Itori, Rei has managed to go to Kyoto to surprise Uta, her first visit to him since they enrolled into university two and a half months ago. She is planning on staying the whole weekend if she can but is also prepared to return to Tokyo the same day should Uta be busy with other plans he may have already made.

 

She sincerely hopes he hasn’t made any pressing plans with anyone, because she really wants to stay with him this weekend. She misses him terribly, and their evening phone calls just isn’t enough anymore. She wants to be able to physically hold his hand, talk to him, hug him, spend time with him and generally feel that safety she always feels when she’s around him. Rei also hopes she’s not the only one who feels this way out of the two of them. She stands outside the gates of the university he attends, a small black suitcase by her feet as she waits for him to leave the building. She feels a bit foolish about standing there, all alone like some love-sick woman, but she is excited to see him again. She sees a group of students head towards the gates and crosses her arms across her chest, leaning against the brick wall. She still feels uneasy at times when she’s out alone, but it’s better now than it was before. She focuses on her breathing and lowers her shoulders the best she can. Even though he is supposed to be done by now, it doesn’t mean he’s part of that group. For all she knows, he might be sitting in the library or doing some practice in a classroom or something. Still, when she sees them noticing her, she also realizes that their pace is slowing down.

 

“Whoa, hot chick by the gate!” Her cheeks tint pink. She’s never been called ‘hot’ before, not in this setting at least. She kind of wants to turn and walk away, even if it seems stupid, but then the men at the front of the group are pushed aside and Rei smiles brightly at the raven-haired man who emerges from the centre.

 

“Yes, that’s Rei-san, hands off and mind out of the gutter.” Uta tells them before jogging up to Rei, who throws herself at him.

 

“Surprise!” She exclaims. “Unless Itori-chan spilled the beans?” Uta shakes his head negative and hugs her back, enjoying the rosy hue tinting her cheeks.

 

“You’re not busy, are you? I’m not intruding on anything?” She asks and he shakes his head as he puts her down on the ground.

 

“You’re never intruding.”

 

“Sweet-talker!” One of the men from the group exclaims as they walk past the two and Uta rolls his eyes, waving them off while Rei laughs.

 

“They’re not wrong. Will you show me around?” She asks while grabbing her suitcase.

 

“I can do that. Let’s just leave our stuff at home first.” Uta tells her and grab her hand, linking their fingers together.

 

“See you on Monday, Uta-san!” The group calls out before leaving the two alone.

 

“I’m glad to see you have friends.” Rei says as they walk down the streets, and Uta tilts his head at her, wide eyes blinking and she finds the expression on his face adorable, despite the inked eyes and the piercings.

 

“Why wouldn’t I have?” She just shakes her head with a quiet laugh and tightens her grip on him for a few seconds. Uta’s apartment isn’t big. The kitchen, living-room and bedroom are all one big room, and the bathroom is big enough for two people to squeeze in together just barely, but considering he’s living all by himself, it’s more than enough. It is very neat, the only place cluttered with books and papers being the living-room table and his bed is unmade. Other than that, his apartment is quite tidy.

 

“Do you want to eat anything before we go?”

 

“No, I’m fine. Show me around, and we’ll find something on the way.” Rei says, depositing her suitcase in the hall. Uta shows her around his neighbourhood, his favourite café, the shop where he buys his art supplies, shows her places that inspire him and he enjoys their trip. Because Rei is honestly interested in seeing and learning where he goes and what he does in his free time here.

 

“Do you like it in Kyoto?” Rei asks as they wait for their coffees when they visit the café.

 

“Mhm. It’s nice, and the university is good. I get why granny wanted me to attend the school here. How’s Tyoko?”

 

“It’s good to be back! And Dai-san called me and told me I could come to him as a proper apprentice if I wanted to, after finishing university. I’ll be done before you, after all.” She says and he raises a brow.

 

“You’re going back to our little hide-away?” He questions and her smile dims a bit, feeling less confident about it now that she’s telling him.

 

“Well, I’m kind of thinking about it, at least. I’ll be done after three years, you’ll be here for four. I need to do my apprenticeship somewhere, it might as well be somewhere I’m comfortable, right?” He hums, and Rei grows silent. It’s what she wants, so of course she has to tell Uta. She just wonders if he’s going to disapprove. She’s trying to think of herself, what she might be comfortable with, what will be good for her, but she also needs to know Uta’s opinion on it.

 

“Hm, well, at least then I know you’ll be properly taken care of.” He says and she feels a weight lifting from her shoulders.

 

“So, it’s okay for you?” She asks and he tilts his head.

 

“Whether or not it’s okay for me, does that matter? It’s your future, and your decision.” She wrings her hands together on the table, still nervous, but at the very least she is no longer hiding it from him, he thinks.

 

“Well, we’re together, and so I need you to agree with my decision for me to be comfortable with it.” He lets her feel nervous for a little while, before reaching over and linking the fingers of her right hand with his left.

 

“If it’s me agreeing with you that you want, then don’t worry. I think you should go too. I’d have liked it if you moved here where I could be with you, but if you’re okay with going to Daisuke-san, then I think that is okay too.” She exhales in relief and grins at him.

 

“It’s not set in stone yet.”

 

“Perhaps not, but I think you should, and I’m glad you told me.” He is very happy that she told him, even though it is a couple of years into the future, but it is an opportunity he doesn’t think she should throw away, should it come.

 

“You’ve always been so understanding, Uta-kun.”

 

“You want me to argue with you instead?” He raises a brow and she shake her head, laughing quietly to herself.

 

“No but would be nice if you’d at least tried to convince me otherwise.” She shrugs and he narrows his eyes playfully.

 

“If I used my skills of persuasion on you, I’d always get my way, and that’s not how it should be.” She straightens up at bit, letting go of his hand and crossing her arms across her chest, raising an eyebrow at him in a silent challenge. His smirk widens, a mischievous glimmer in his eyes as he sits up properly. Rei has definitively changed since her uncle was taken away, her confidence has started to grow back again, and he enjoys it. He likes that she’s slowly but surely returning to who she used to be, confident and strong-willed. It’s far more enjoyable to see her stand up for herself, than folding in on herself and pulling back.

 

“Challenge accepted.” She’s honestly curious as to how he’ll convince her otherwise, what his persuasion technique he has that will leave her as putty in his hands. They leave the café, and Uta leads her to one of his favourite spaces, where they just sit together in silence, soaking in the nice, warm air and just enjoying each other’s company before heading back to the apartment. They fall onto the couch, cuddling together as they start up the TV, and Rei practically melts into her boyfriend. She’s really missed this and considering how he lightly traces patterns onto her back and occasionally presses his lips to the top of her head, he has missed this too. Whatever show is on the TV, it’s just background noise now. Neither is paying much attention to it. Rei’s tired from the journey, and Uta is feeling the effects of being up from early in the morning. The nostalgia of being like this again is just so relaxing in itself. Neither try to break the comfortable silence that has fallen like a blanket over them.

 

Rei never noticed that she had fallen asleep before she jerks awake when Uta moves.

 

“Wha?”

 

“We fell asleep.” Uta mutters as he stretches his arms above his head, and a crack is heard before he sighs and slumps again.

 

“What time is it?” Rei rasps out, rubbing her eye.

 

“Half past ten.” Her boyfriend mumbles and rubs his forehead. They’re both still sleepy, so they decide to turn in early. The adventure of using the bathroom at the same time while so sleepy is hilarious as they trip into each other all the time. When Rei finally falls onto the bed, Uta’s in the process of removing his ear piercings. She curls into a ball beneath the covers and sighs in content.

 

The bed is so much more comfortable than the couch, though Uta makes for a decent pillow. She’s a bit nervous, though she doesn’t understand why. Sure, it’s been a while since she slept in the same bed as her boyfriend, but she has done it so many times in the past that it shouldn’t be an issue. Even when he comes out in a tank-top and pyjama pants she feels nervousness build up in her.

 

She uncurls to give him space to slip in. Automatically they tangle their legs and slot their bodies together.

 

“Only got one pillow.” Uta tells her apologetically.

 

“It’s okay.” Rei mutters, resting her cheek against his chest. “You’ll just have to do.” He laughs at her, before kissing her forehead good night.

 

She jerks awake when she feels Uta turn sharply to reach the blaring alarm. The male curses beneath his breath when he hits the off button. She pushes herself up and he turns back, long black hair being swept back by inked hands, bleary red meeting groggy green.

 

“Sorry. Forgot to turn off the alarm.” Uta says as he flops onto his back with a sigh, an arm thrown across his face. This is not how he had envisioned this Saturday morning. He’d have liked to sleep a bit longer than six in the fucking morning, especially since Rei is visiting.

 

“Mm, it’s okay. That just gives us more daylight to spend together, doesn’t it?” She asks and she can see his lips twitch upwards from beneath his arm.

 

“Or am I being very cheesy right now?”

 

“You’re always cheesy.” He retorts and she pouts, before moving to straddle him and remove his arm so she can kiss him. They’re simple and chaste, but when she pulls back, he follows and drags her back down. She grins against his lips until he bites on the bottom one. She’s no longer shy about these kind of situations, and she challenges him this time.

 

She presses herself flush against him, hands tangling in his hair and tugging as she grinds against him. She can feel him hardening beneath her, both hears and feels how their breaths grow heavier, and she enjoys the patterns he traces over her sleep-shirt. It’s becoming very heated, she can feel him start to push her shirt up, and that’s when she pulls away and smiles innocently at him, despite the slightly strained breathing.

 

“I’m going to take a shower before we figure out what to do today.” She says sweetly before climbing off the bed and skipping towards the bathroom. Uta’s left behind on the bed, blinking stupidly at the roof of his apartment, not quite comprehending what just happened. He sits up slowly as she enters the bathroom, and he stares in his lap as he hears the water start to run. She’s left the door open and he throws the covers off of himself. He grumbles as he pulls off his top and pants, discarding his underwear on the floor of the bathroom. He pulls back the shower-curtain and steps right in despite Rei’s protests, crowding her against the wall. Soon his hair is plastered against his skin as he stares down at her. The water is scalding hot, but he ignores it and keeps on staring down at her, silently impressed when she doesn’t squirm. He leans down, resting his forehead against hers, breaths mingling but neither of them moves to close the gap.

 

She’s come so far. Uta is proud.

 

His hands land on her waist, thumbs rubbing the wet skin. Her hands move to caress his shoulder blades, slowly pulling him closer to her. That is the only movement either does. They like the silent intimacy, and right now it feels like just standing there like this is even more intense than anything else they’ve ever done. The sparks from the gentle caress’ is enough to weaken Rei’s knees, and she’s glad she’s pressed against the wall. She suspects she’d have fallen a long time ago if it isn’t for the wall behind her.

 

Finally, Uta moves. He closes the slight gap between them and kisses her, slowly melding his lips against her, exploring her mouth while moving his hands from holding her hips to wrap around her middle, as he’s trying to bring her even closer. She tilts her head, the shower completely forgotten as she kisses him back with as much need and passion she can muster. She blames the need to be with him of being so great because she hasn’t seen him in over two months. She’s only had phone-calls and one incredibly dirty and embarrassing skype-call since he went to Kyoto. Of course, the skype-call had only been embarrassing because Itori had barged into her room just as Re was coming down from her high, naked as the day she was born with her laptop with her, showing an equally naked Uta.

 

Itori still teases her about that incident, and that is one of the reasons she’s never agreed to another special skype-call with Uta. But now she has him there, in the flesh, in her arms. She wants more.

 

“That wasn’t nice, Rei-san.” Uta says as he pulls away. “Teasing me like that, so cruel.”

 

“Really?” She breathes out. “But you always teased me like that, back when we lived together.”

 

“Did I?” He plays innocent, but she sees straight through him and moves one of her hands to his chest, tracing the sun-tattoo there, before moving her hand up to his chin.

 

“All. The. Time.” She flicks his nose and giggles when he wrinkles it. It quickly morphs into a gasp when he lifts one of her legs and wraps it around his hip. His erection has been poking her in the stomach, but she busied herself thinking about other things, focusing on other parts of him, but it is hard to ignore now, as it is rubbing against her folds.

 

“O-oh!” Her hands land on his shoulders, and she feels anticipation well up in her, but then Uta pauses and groans in disappointment and she blinks.

 

“What?”

 

“The condoms are in my bedside-table.” He explains but doesn’t let go of her thigh. Rei makes a noise of displeasure too, but after a moment of hesitation she pulls him closer again with her elevated leg.

 

“Think you’ll manage to pull out?” He blinks at her, surprised by the suggestion because he never thought she’d ever entertain such a thought. They’ve always practiced safe-sex, but it seems that this time, Rei is willing to take a risk, to throw caution to the wind, because she’s as desperate for him as he’s for her. He thinks it through. There’s a chance he’ll forget himself and come inside her, but he does believe that he can keep himself in check too. And gods be damned, he really wants her now.

 

“Are you sure? Absolutely sure?” He questions and she grows impatient, rolling her hips.

 

“If we forget ourselves, I’ll just have to… go to the apothecary afterwards, I guess.” She mumbles and he regards her for a moment before his grip on her leg tightens as he holds her still while his other hand moves between her legs, one finger sinking into her.

 

“Yeah, okay.” He breathes are her head rolls back, hitting the wall with a thud. It’s ridiculous how quickly she becomes a shaking mess on his fingers, the scalding hot water feels almost cold against her skin now. His name is a broken mantra on her lips and he loves it.

 

“Say my name, Rei-san.” He whispers into her ear as he lifts her other leg to wrap around him, positioning himself and pushing in.

 

“Uta-kun!” It feels a lot different without a condom. It’s more intimate, she feels warmer and the raven-haired male has to pause when he’s fully sheathed to collect himself. He never thought the difference would be this intense.

 

“You f-feel-“

 

“Yeah…” He knows what she means, and starts moving slowly, being careful not to slip on the wet floor. They’ve been apart for so long, and it’s far more intense than ever before, and Rei begins to moan his name louder, nails scratching down his back. He can feel her clench around him, can feel her start to fall off the edge. He’s just about there too, and moves one hand between her legs again, pressing down on her clit. She arches her back with a cry, and Uta just manages to remember to pull out, stroking himself one, two times, and spills down their legs.

 

When their breathing finally evens out, the water has actually cooled a bit and Rei shivers despite smiling up at him. He smiles back and reaches for the shampoo.

 

“Want me to wash your hair?” She nods and turns around on still shaky feet.

 

“May I suggest lazy morning cuddles after this?” He asks and she hums as he massages the soap into her hair.

 

“You may.” She doubts she’s going anywhere on her shaky legs after all.


	11. A Short Break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry! Things are hectic, and I forgot to upload the chapter yesterday!

Rei doesn’t know where Itori got the amount of alcohol she has set up from, and she isn’t sure she wants to know either. All she knows is that the moment Rei passed her final exam, and accepted the apprenticeship Daisuke offered her, Itori brought about this great party she has apparently been planning for quite some time. Conveniently enough, Itori’s adopted parents are out of town and they have the whole house for themselves, and when Rei asks if that is a part of the plan and if they know about it, Itori quickly changes the subject. Rei takes that as a no, the redhead’s parents aren’t aware of anything. Rei has never tried drinking before and is therefore very careful as she sips the alcoholic beverages. It’s not bad, but she’s not very tempted to chug it down like a woman dying of thirst either.

 

Itori is just as boisterous and lively as ever, even when her cheeks are flushed and eyes dazed. Renji on the other hand… Renji is like a completely different person. He’s not quiet, and his expression isn’t set as disinterested in everything going on about him. He is actually butting into everything happening everywhere, and there are so many people, which Rei was initially okay with, but the drunker everyone gets, it becomes a little bit too much for her. There’s too much noise, too many people and Rei has to step outside for a bit, just to gather her thoughts and get some peace and quiet.

 

She can still hear the music and the shouting once outside, but at least it’s a bit dulled now, and she can hear her own thoughts now. She sighs, and stretches her arms high up in the air, feeling a pleasant crack before she lets her arms fall back down again. It is fun, having a party, she can’t deny that and is thankful to Itori for doing so much for her already. But amongst all their friends who are here, there is one missing, and Rei chances a glance at her phone.

 

It’s 11.48.

 

He might still be awake, but she isn’t sure whether or not to call him, as he still has a few days of school left before the school year is over. She shakes her head, sighing. He is most likely asleep already, so she shouldn’t bother him. She can wait until he comes back from Kyoto. It’s only a few more days, after all. She can be patient enough for that. She is about to turn around and head back inside when her phone starts ringing. She looks down and blinks confusedly, seeing Uta’s name flash across the screen.

 

“Hello?”

 

 _“Where are you?”_ That is some greeting, she thinks, frowning.

 

“I’m at home, why?”

 

“ _Itori-san called and said you disappeared.”_ Well, that makes sense. She guesses she should have told Itori where she went off to.

 

“I just went out for a bit of fresh air. There were just too much noise and people.” She tells him as she leans against the wall of the home, sliding down. It’s funny how Itori just automatically calls Uta to give him a small heart attack instead of just calling Rei herself, or just taking a look out the door. Rei can’t say she’s entirely unhappy with it though. She would have liked for Uta to be here too, but she can’t ask for the impossible, so she’ll settle for this short phone-call for the time being.

 

“So, there’s no need to worry.” She adds.

 

“ _I wasn’t particularly worried.”_

“Mhm, yeah, of course you weren’t. That’s why you called me instead of telling Itori-chan to find me on her own.” There’s a barely-heard chuckle on the other side, and her own lips quirk upwards.

 

“I’m okay, Uta-kun. I just needed a break from the noise. I feel okay.”

 

“ _Okay.”_ He believes her now, because by now, she is almost how she used to be before everything happened. She still has days where she feels down or insufficient, but that is normal, so he doesn’t think too much of it. She finally finds it natural to talk about how she feels, what she’s comfortable with or not, instead of just bearing with it all. That’s what he’s the most impressed with, because she managed to do all of that, in just a little over three years. And she’s also acknowledged that a lot of things still bother her, and maybe always will, but there are healthy ways to cope.

 

“When will you come back to Tokyo?” Rei asks and he hums on the other side.

 

“ _In a week. I won’t stay very long though, because I found a job some time ago.”_

 

“Right, you mentioned that. I’ll be leaving soon too. Dai-san said I could start whenever I wanted, so I’m moving before the month’s over. I talked with Akiyama-san too. She’s got an apartment ready for me when I arrive.”

 

“ _You did it all yourself?”_

 

“Yes.” Uta’s impressed, and voices said thoughts. Rei feels good about the praise; it makes her feel like she is mastering the bigger tasks too. It’s been a slow build, a long journey, but she’s finally getting there. She can take care of herself.

 

“You’ll come visit, right? And I’ll visit you, if that’s okay?”

 

“ _Of course. Both ways are okay.”_ He tells her and she fists her free hand in her shirt, thinking how it’s just one more year before Uta is also done with university, but she doesn’t quite dare ask him about what he wants to do afterwards. She’s going back to their little hide-out town, as Uta refers to it, but who knows what he will do afterwards? Perhaps he’ll stay in Kyoto and do his apprenticeship there? And who knows how long he’ll stay an apprentice there too? She doesn’t want to sway any idea or goal he has set himself, and she also doesn’t want to disappoint herself, so she keeps the subject to herself.

 

“ _Rei-san?”_ She blinks, realizing she’s fallen out a bit. She shakes her head and focuses on the conversation again.

 

“Sorry. Are you tired? You have to get up early tomorrow, right?”

 

“ _Are you in a hurry to get back inside?”_ She gnaws on her bottom lip. She really isn’t, she’d rather sit outside for a bit longer and chat with Uta, but considering he still has classes, it would be selfish to have him sit up even later than this just to keep her company over the phone.

 

“No, not really, but you’re going to bed, right?“

 

 _“I’m in no hurry to go to bed either. My classes don’t start before the afternoon.”_ He tells her and she tilts her head.

 

“Really?”

 

“ _Really.”_ She doesn’t believe him but appreciates the sentiment. Still, she won’t keep him up all night even if that is the truth, so she stands up, wincing slightly at the stiffness in her legs.

 

“Even so, I think I’ll head back inside, before Itori-chan calls a search squad.” She jokes and Uta hums on the other side.

 

“ _You sure you’re okay?”_

 

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll see you later.”

 

“ _Alright, good night then.”_ She ends the call and shoves her phone into her pocket and heads on back inside. In the short time she was outside, things have become rather chaotic inside. Mostly everyone is drunk, and her jaw drops to the floor as she sees Renji swinging the lamp as if it is a child’s swing.

 

“Oh my god, Renji-kun! Get down before you ruin it!” She hurries over to help him down, can hear Itori in the background cackling. Apparently she isn’t all that worried about the furniture in the house right now. Rei thinks that the next morning, when she will be hunched over the toilet bowl, she’ll feel a bit more worried about it.

 

“It’s okay, Rei-chan!”

 

“It really is not.” Rei retorts as Renji clumsily falls down, thankfully not pulling the lamp down from the roof with him. Rei do not particularly look forward to explaining to Itori’s adoptive parents why they might miss some furniture in their home once they return.

 

“Spoilsport!”

 

“Deal with it!” She laughs as she helps Renji get up on his feet again. He starts on rambling again, holding her hand as he does. She’s alarmed by the open expression on his face as he speaks about how proud he is of her, how far she’s come, and happy that she can move on with her life and getting everything in order, and she smiles watery at him, thanking him for the sweet words. Renji struggles with phrasing himself normally, but once he gets some alcohol in his system, the words apparently pour out.

 

“It’s all thanks to you, Itori-chan and Uta-kun. Thank you, Renji-kun.” She thanks him.

 

True, she’s come so far, and she feels like she is in control of herself and her life again, but it was only possible because her friends stepped up and helped her. So everything she has achieved the last few years, it is their achievement too.


	12. Regression

Rei is sweeping up the hair from her last customer of the day and she glances over her shoulder every time she hears her mentor giggle behind her. He’s actually been giggling all day, and while it isn’t so weird that he is so cheery, the sheer amount of laughing while looking towards her is a bit unnatural. Once done with the sweeping, she turns towards her mentor and cocks her hip.

 

“Alright, what is it? You’ve been giggling all day.” Daisuke only giggles again, looking very smug.

 

“I know something you do~n’t.” He sings and she rolls her eyes, but can’t stop the smile from forming on her face.

 

“You know a lot more than me, but come on, spit it out.” She doesn’t hear the door open, and Daisuke betrays nothing when the stranger walks up behind her. She’s startled when hands cover her eyes, but the voice immediately tells her who it is.

 

“Boo~!” She pushes the hands away, turns around and leaps up to hug Uta around his neck. So as to keep them both from toppling over from her excited embrace, he drops his bag and takes a few steps back as he returns the hug.

 

“Whoa!” He must admit, he did not expect such a welcome, but he’s not complaining. It feels good to hold Rei again, the long-distance relationship is starting to grow a bit tiring, and he’s glad that there’s not a long time left until he’s done with university. He looks forward to that, to a time where he can either move closer to Rei or move in together with her again.

 

“You’re here!” Well, excited welcomes like these is one of the few pro’s of having a long-distance relationship.

 

“Yes, I am.” Rei pulls back and stares up at him with the biggest grin he’s seen on her face the last few years.

 

“Are you here to ink your eyes again?” He blinks. While it is true that he’s booked an appointment with his former boss, he had been corresponding with Daisuke so that he could do it on a weekend when Rei is free so he could spend time with her. Considering their relationship and everything that has happened, why doesn’t she consider herself his first priority?

 

“That too, but I mainly came to be with you.” He says and Rei turns towards Daisuke while pointing at Uta.

 

“Isn’t he the cutest?” Daisuke nods and the two share a laugh. Uta is left slightly confused, but bemused as well as he picks up his bag again. At least Rei is enjoying herself here, and that is a burden off of his shoulders.

 

“So this is why you’ve been all giggly. You knew he was coming.” Rei accuses her boss who throws his hands up in the air.

 

“Guilty as charged, darling. Now, hurry, go have a wonderful weekend, and supply me with all the dirty details when you come in on Monday.” Uta chuckles quietly, turning towards the exit, though he sharply turns back around when Rei says that she will.

 

“Will do!”

 

“What-“

 

“See you on Monday, Dai-san!” She calls over her shoulder as she pushes Uta out the door. Once outside her hand latches onto his, and he can’t remember the last time he’s seen her this happy. She’s practically skipping down the streets, it’s like she’s about to float away and the only thing grounding her is his hold on her hand.

 

“What’s got you in such a mood? Are you having a good day?”

 

“I’m having an amazing day!” He just laughs at her excitement and checks his phone to see what the time is.

 

“When is your appointment? Today?”

 

“In an hour.” He answers.

 

“Do you want to swing by the café or do you want to go home and drop off your bag first?”

 

“The café sounds good.” He likes that she says “home”, as if he still lives with her. It sounds homey and pleasant. When they arrive, they occupy two seats by the counter, where Koma is standing.

 

“Uta-san, my man, you’re back!”

 

“I’m just going to the bathroom.” Rei tells Uta before asking Koma to prepare the usual. Once gone, Koma leans over the counter.

 

“She finally told you, didn’t she? That’s why you’re here, right?” Uta blinks, not sure what Koma is talking about, and the big-nosed man seems to realize it. He frowns and looks up to make sure no one listens in before he tells the younger man what concerns him.

 

“It’s Fujioka-san. Lately when she comes by for her morning coffee, she looks tired. Not tired because it’s early in the morning, but down-right exhausted, with some real dark rings around her eyes. And she’s jumpy too.” Uta frowns. Rei haven’t told him anything about being exhausted or tired lately, or jumpy. Actually, she’s only been telling him about her progress as an apprentice, how good it is to be back in their little hide-out, how she can’t wait for him to finish university and her finishing her apprenticeship. She looks forward to them finding a place together again. She always sounded so happy and excited during those conversations. It never once sounded like she was trying to convince him or her about it, like she was laying it on too thick. She honestly sounded happy.

 

But perhaps he never noticed anything wrong because he’s been so focused on all the positive things she’s been accomplishing lately, and not thought too much about any regression that might happen.

 

“How long has this been going on?” Uta asks and Koma looks thoughtful.

 

“Nearly a month, I think.” Way too long if it’s simply her forgetting to mention it to him. She should have told him, and Uta feels a slight spark of anger bubble up in him, but he squishes it quickly.

 

“Thank you for telling me, Koma-san. I’ll look into it.” He tells the redhead. Rei have come such a long way, he can’t have her regressing after all their hard work. He doesn’t want her to break, not after finally escaping the horror she has been plagued by since high school. Not after having put in so much effort into getting herself in order and building herself up.

 

“Oh wow, how gloomy.” The men turn around quickly to see Rei heading towards them and sitting down beside her boyfriend.

 

“One would think you’d have a happier reunion.”

 

“It’s nothing. Serious talk.” Uta waves her off.

 

“Oh, what about?”

 

“Sorry, for adults only.” She gives him the most unimpressed look before accepting the cup Koma hands her.

 

“Says the one still in school.” She mutters and this time Uta shoots her a look. He keeps himself from saying anything, because he’s still miffed about the fact that she hasn’t talked to him about what is causing her to walk around like a zombie and being afraid of her own shadow. It might be nothing, but he isn’t going to take that chance. He’d rather have a meaningless argument than risk her falling apart at the seams because he wasn’t paying attention.

 

“So, what brings you out here, Uta-san?”

 

“Visiting my lovely girlfriend, and a refill of ink in my eyes.” He answers, checking his phone again. “Don’t have a lot of time until the appointment either.” He says to Rei, and she nods.

 

“Then right away home for dinner. I’ll whip up something good.” Rei boasts and Uta can’t help but smile. Right now, she must be feeling okay, at least.

 

“You won’t let me take you out?”

 

“Your eyes are going to hate you after you’ve re-inked them. There’s no way you’d be in any shape to take me out for dinner.” She says flatly and Koma laughs while Uta sighs dejectedly.

 

“She won’t even let me try to be a gentleman.” He pouts and his lover rolls her eyes. They finish their coffee and head for the tattoo parlour. Uta is grimacing as they close in on the doors and Rei halts her steps, tugging on his hand.

 

“You okay?”

 

“I’m just not looking forward to it. It’s kind of uncomfortable. As in, very.”

 

“You don’t have to do it, do you? You did it to make yourself unrecognizable, right? You don’t have to do that anymore though.”

 

“Yeah, well, it’s grown on me. Didn’t feel like me when the ink started to fade.” He tells her and she has to admit that she understands what he’s saying. Rei is so used to the inked eyes that make his red irises stand out more, that imagining him with white sclera again feels weird. It just doesn’t seem right anymore.

 

“Do you want me to hold your hand?” She teases him and he lightly pushes her away from him with a roll of his eyes. They enter the shop, and the boss looks up when the bell chimes.

 

“Well well, look who’s here!” The older man grins widely as he stands up from behind the counter. “On time even.”

 

“When have I ever been late?” Uta asks with a smirk as he bows his head in greeting.

 

“Well, considering how painful you thought it was the first time-“

 

“Uncomfortable, not painful.” The university student corrects him.

 

“I’m here to hold his hand through it this time.” Rei says seriously, and holds the mask for a whole three seconds before it cracks and she breaks out into giggles.

 

“You two still together, eh?” The boss asks and the two nods.

 

“Incredible, isn’t it? I never thought I’d be able to keep up with his antics for this long.” Rei jokes and Uta leans down to whisper something only she can hear. She flushes a deep red and slaps his arm, and the boss can’t help but laugh at the victorious smirk stretching across Uta’s face.

 

“Before she faints, let’s get this over with.” He says and motions for Uta to follow him.

 

“Should I just wait out here?” Rei asks and the owner of the shop nods.

 

“I don’t think you want to watch a needle making contact with an eye.”

 

“Yeah, I’ll just wait out here.” She’d rather not watch the tattoo artist stick a needle into her boyfriend’s eyes. Anything sharp near the eyes makes her squeamish. While they move into another room, she explores the walls covered in designs, photos of finished tattoos and the satisfied customers showing them off. She sometimes wondered if she should get one too. Over the years Uta have acquired a lot of tattoos, and piercings. It has taken him years, but she is sure he isn’t done just yet. She especially likes his sun tattoo, and she likes to imagine that his neck tattoo is partly directed at her. She isn’t sure that it is, but it is nice to think so.

 

While waiting she might as well see if she can find a design she likes, or can draw inspiration from, she thinks. She doesn’t have much luck.

 

“Not finding anything you like?” She turns around and sees Tate, the man who had been an apprentice at this shop the same time Uta was. A fully fledged tattoo artist now, she reckons.

 

“Hm, no, but then again, I’m just trying to make time fly by quicker.” She shrugs.

 

“Passing time in a tattoo shop?”

 

“Waiting for Uta.” She corrects. “He’s here to get his eyes re-inked.”

 

“Not to be with you?” The way Tate raises a brow bothers her a little bit. Just the way he acts around what he said just now. It just… isn’t right. And it makes her uncomfortable.

 

“And to visit me. Two birds with one stone, or something along those lines. Also, I am wondering about either a tattoo or piercing in the future anyway. I just have to find something I either want inked into my skin, or pierced into me somewhere.” She says, trying to divert the conversation, avoid a topic she suddenly feels is uncomfortable around the tattoo artist.

 

“Maybe I can help. We can make designs for you too, you know.”

 

“Let me think about it for a bit.” Rei says, not promising anything, and suddenly everything is as it used to be. Tate keeps her company until the owner comes out again, and tells her she can go inside the room where Uta is.

 

“You’re done?”

 

“Yes, but he best take it easy for a while. You know the drill.” She nods and moves to enter the room, walking carefully as the room is quite dark, though it is probably dark because Uta’s eyes must be very sensitive right now.

 

“Hey.” She sits down on the chair beside the table he lays on, and he waves his hand.

 

“Does it hurt?” He waves his hand again, making a protesting noise.

 

“No? It’s just uncomfortable?”

 

“Throbbing, but not painful.”

 

“How long do you need to lay here?”

 

“No idea, until the throbbing dies down a bit, I guess.”

 

“I see. Hey, do you think you could make a tattoo design for me?” He grunts, brows furrowed, and she guesses talking isn’t helping the throbbing, so she opens her phone and starts messaging Hitomi. An hour passes before Uta finally pushes himself up into a sitting position.

 

“You okay?”

 

“Yeah. My sunglasses are in my jacket. Could you fetch them for me, then we can go?” Rei does as requested, and when they arrive at the apartment, she adjusts the lights so it’s not so bright inside, before she starts making dinner. She ends up making yakisoba and they eat quietly.

 

“Still throbbing?” She asks as they do the dishes.

 

“Not so bad.” He answers, though he’s still squinting. Light is still an annoyance, apparently, so watching any TV-shows is out of the question.

 

“Can we cuddle afterwards?” She asks hopefully and he nods, smiling.

 

“Sure.” They dry the dishes and cutlery, and when they relocate to the couch, Rei puts on some low music before leaning into him, sighing as her eyes flutter shut. She’s gone in the matter of moments.

 

 _‘She must have been really tired.’_ He thinks as he watches her slumber. Even when he gets up from the couch she doesn’t wake up, and she’s a very light sleeper. Still, he uses that opportunity to take a shower. He’s come as far as towel-drying his hair when he hears a strangled scream from the living-room.


	13. Return

Uta rushes out to see Rei clapping her hands over her mouth. There are tears in her eyes and she looks downright terrified. He rushes forward and grabs her arms, showing her that she is safe and that he is there with her. He lets her calm down properly before he addresses the elephant in the room.

 

“Your nightmares are back.” She nods. “How long?”

 

She just hangs her head and deflates. Some time then, he guesses. She’s just not told him, or anyone else for that matter. He feels that little spark of anger from earlier flare back to life, but he takes a deep breath and shoves the emotion into the back-seat. He needs to stay calm.

 

“Rei-san-“

 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” She apologizes, breathing erratic, and he pulls her onto the floor with him, pulling her forward and cradling her to him. She’s crying now, and he makes no effort in stopping her tears, because he figures she needs to let it out. He doesn’t know how long she cries, but she starts to calm down after playing a bit with his wet hair. Suddenly she slumps, laying all her weight on him.

 

Uta nearly falls over, but manages to keep them upright after a slight struggle.

 

“I’m sorry.” She repeats.

 

“Instead of apologizing, Rei-san, explain why you never told me.” It comes out harsher than he intended and Rei flinches. She tries to get out of his embrace, but his arms are as unmovable as iron bars. He refuses to let her go, to let her go might mean she’ll fold in on herself again.

 

“Uta-kun-“

 

“Talk to me.” He cuts her off and she freezes in place.

 

“I… I didn’t want to worry you.” She admits quietly and he furrows his brows. The one thing they worked on for so many years, that which he has told her she can always do, because he will listen, she avoided doing.

 

“You are now. You know you can talk about these things with me. You _have to_ talk about it.”

 

“I know, it just… It doesn’t happen often, I promise.” He can’t quite stop himself from what he says next, because he doesn’t believe her.

 

“According to Koma-san, it does happen often.” He replies but she shakes her head.

 

“No, no it doesn’t. I’m just… I feel afraid sometimes when I’m alone. That’s all, I swear.” Rei is a terrible liar, and when he lifts her chin up so that he can look her in the eyes, he realizes she’s being truthful. His frown eases up, but he’s still a bit miffed, he’s not ready to let this go, though it may be better to wait until they’ve both settled down a bit.

 

“I’ll let it go today, but we’re going to talk about this before the weekend’s over.” He promises her and she nods, because she knows he’s right. She knows that no matter if it feels too much or that she’s too annoying, she can’t bottle it up. Her former psychologist told her so as well.

 

“Maybe I should book an appointment with a shrink?”

 

“If you think that’s best.”

 

“I sear, if they start with; I know how you feel, or, I know how it is, then it is over.”

 

“You’re not keeping it bottled up.” Uta warns and she sighs.

 

“I promise, I won’t.” She’s ashamed of herself, and for having worried Uta. It is disgraceful considering he is the one who had gotten her out of _that_ house, conspired with Itori and Renji and others to get her uncle in jail. And Uta loves her, despite that it sometimes is hard for her to understand why or how. Rei herself thinks she’s too much of a hassle sometimes.

 

“Ow!” She reels back as he flicks her forehead, glowering down at her.

 

“You’re thinking something stupid.”

 

“I wasn’t!” She protests and shoves away from him, nearly tripping over her table in the darkness. She straightens up and sighs, wringing her hands. How many times has she sighed since she woke up now?

 

“I am sorry, Uta-kun. I didn’t think it was anything serious.”

 

“If it wasn’t serious, people wouldn’t think something was wrong! While I don’t like you keeping things like that to yourself, it’s even worse when I’m told by someone else than you!” She shrinks away from him, curling in on herself. She’s not used to hearing him raise his voice, and right now she’s not feeling well enough to have that kind of aggression directed at her.

 

“Please don’t shout at me.”

 

“I’m not-“ He cuts himself off and takes a deep breath, because he _is_ dangerously close to shouting. He exhales and tries to have the tension leave his shoulders before speaking again.

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell, but you must understand how I feel about this too. I don’t want you to break apart by the seams after all the effort you put into getting this far.”

 

“Oh, I understand how you feel!” She suddenly snaps, features twisting. “You and I both know that _this_ is going to be with me my whole life! I am _always_ going to have nightmares, they’re going to follow me every step I take, because _they were real_! They are going to haunt me my whole life because they _are real_! Maybe I’ll break, maybe I won’t, but it’ll _never_ be over! I am damaged, _I will always be damaged!_ ” She has raised her voice a couple of times, but she has never once yelled since her uncle started to abuse her. She’s shouting now, and breathing heavily, chest heaving. She’s not supressing anything now, she’s letting it all out in a furious burst of frustration, and all Uta can do is stare. He didn’t want an argument, he didn’t want a shouting match, but her telling him exactly how she feels about it all, that he wants. So perhaps this is something that has been building up over the years, maybe this is her finally exploding in a fit of emotions she’s been trying to carefully reign in?

 

“ _Why_ -“ Her voice cracks and she wraps her arms around herself. “Why do you even bother with me?” He just stares at her dumbfounded, struck into shocked silence by her words though he should have expected it. He tries to find an explanation she will accept, but can’t come up with anything but one:

 

“Because I love you.” Her eyes scrunch up at the confession and she covers her face, a sob escaping her. She knows this, even though he’s never said it out loud, but she also needs to hear it, because the trauma has damaged her greatly.

 

“I love you too.” It is a strangled sound that escapes her, but he hears her none-the-less. He moves over and wraps his arms around her, disconcerted with seeing her like this. She lets him attempt at comforting her, because she can’t seem to calm herself down on her own. She knows he loves her, he wouldn’t have bothered being with her if he didn’t, but considering the burden she is, she can’t fathom why.

 

“You’re thinking something stupid again.” He murmurs, removing her hands so he can see her face properly. She casts her eyes downwards.

 

“You’re just making wild guesses.”

 

“And hitting the nail spot on.” He retorts, laying a light kiss on her forehead. She sighs but doesn’t argue with him. The tears are still falling so steadily down her cheeks, but only a few hiccups and hitched breaths escape her otherwise.

 

His eyes are throbbing.

 

He never meant for their evening to turn so sour, but he had to make her talk about it, he had to make absolutely sure that nothing is amiss.

 

“I’m sorry.” He apologizes again, tirelessly rubbing her tears away.

 

“I’m sorry too.”

 

“You… Just tell me, okay? I want to know you’re okay, and I want you to rely on me.” She just nods and breathes in deep.

 

“I look like shit now, don’t I?” She hiccups and he exhales a chuckle. Yes, her make-up is all over the place, and her mascara has left black tracks down her cheeks, mingling with a bit of glitter from her eye-shadow, and once it dries it will stick to her skin like dried, caked mud. Still, her eyes shine wetly, and it brings a new shade to her jade-coloured eyes.

 

“You’re still pretty.” He assures her.

 

His eyes are throbbing.

 

“You’re obligated to say that. You’re my boyfriend.” She laughs quietly.

 

“True, but since I love you, and you love me. I can also be honest, you’re still pretty.” She finally cracks a smile and he release the tension in his shoulder which he never even noticed had built up.

 

“Stupid man.” She mutters and he reels back, hand over his heart and gasps.

 

“How _dare_ you.” He says with mock-hurt. “You break my heart!”

 

“What heart?” He lunges for her, but she ducks and runs away laughing. She shrieks as she jumps over the couch, him following. She manages to get the kitchen table between them, though she realizes that’s a mistake. He’s got her boxed in, and her only chance is either the bathroom or the bedroom. She feints with her eyes before taking off in the other direction. Uta allows her a slight advantage before he’s upon her, following her into the bedroom.

 

“I yield!”

 

“You never yield.”

 

His eyes are throbbing.

 

He yanks her to himself and buries his nose into her hair, smelling her shampoo and perfume, and underneath it all, faintly her.

 

“I’ve really, really missed you.” She tells him and he tightens his grip on her to the point it’s nearly painful, but she doesn’t complain, because Uta has never once hurt her and she has faith that he never will.  

 

“I’ve missed you too. Let’s go to bed, we’re both tired.” Rei agrees, mentally and physically exhausted after the argument and the flood of emotions. She wants to go to bed now, just to be able to properly calm down and wake up with a fresh mind tomorrow. She settles comfortably against Uta, and falls asleep to the feeling of Uta’s breath ghosting over her hair.

 

When Uta wakes up the next morning, he finds himself on his back, and Rei’s hand drifting down his chest, nails scraping gently across his skin, stopping just shy of his waistband. It’s obvious what she’s hinting at, even with the innocent grin on her face.

 

“Not even offering me breakfast first.” He mutters and she giggles.

 

“I’ll make you breakfast then.” She claps his stomach and sits up, only to be yanked back down.

 

“You’re a real tease, you know that?” He growls and she laughs.

 

“You’re never satisfied, are you?” He bunches her sleep shirt up to under her armpits, exposing her chest, and moves so his lips barely touch her left breast. She shivers at the feeling of his hot breath on her skin.

 

“Expect this to be a long weekend, Rei.” He says darkly, and she swallows at the loss of a honorfic to her name. A long weekend indeed. Her hands rest on his shoulders as he kisses down her chest, soft sighs leaving her lips. He spoke with such a rough voice, completely out of character for him, but he still treats her as gently as he always has. In a small surge of confidence, Rei feels herself wanting to change that. She bucks her hips and turns them over, gloating down at him and the slightly wide eyes blinking up at her.

 

“Nah, _Uta_ …” She drops the suffix as he did and grinds her hips against his, enjoying how hooded his eyes becomes and the quiet groan escaping him.

 

“You’re not the only one who’s been left unsatisfied for some time now.” She pulls herself up a bit, one hand resting on his chest to keep him down, the other disappearing down her sleep-shorts. Uta must admit that watching Rei pleasure herself above him, head falling forward as her breath grows heavier, is one hell of a wake-up call. He moves his hands up to firmly grab her chest and she opens hazy green eyes.

 

She’s a work of art, he can’t express that enough. Even when he’s had her pose for him in the past, or drawn her from memory, she always seem so ethereal afterwards, like he can’t do her any justice no matter how much he tries.

 

It’s kind of frustrating, really.

 

Her breath hitches and she pulls her hand out of her shorts, panting heavily.

 

“Close already?” He teases, or tries to. His voice is thick, and he struggles a bit with articulating the words properly. She leans forward, grinning at him.

 

“It’s been a while, Uta. Of course I’m easily excited when you’re finally here. Besides-“ she moves back and pulls his underwear off, raising an eyebrow at the erection in front of her,

 

“-I’m not the only one who’s excited.”

 

“Guilty as charged.” He lifts his hips to help her remove the garment completely. Then he watches her climb off and saunter up to the night-table, where she pulls out a condom. She pulls off her clothes too, before straddling his legs again and slipping the condom on him, pumping him a couple of times before shuffling forward. She kisses him again, softly, hands moving up to rub his shoulders, then moving her hands to his chest, fingers twisting a nipple, and he groans. She pulls back a bit, and trails her mouth down his chin, along his jawline, down his neck, teeth biting down on his collarbone.

 

“Rei…” His hands skims over her back, one tangling in her hair to pull her up so he can kiss her again, the other moving to her chest to return the gesture and she gasps, pulling back so she can crouch upright, one hand slipping between them. She sinks down lowly with a moan, savouring the feeling of him filling her up. Once fully sheathed, she pauses, glancing down at him.

 

“You’re always so gentle with me.” She says as she swivels her hips. His hands lands on her thighs and stroke the flesh.

 

“I thought you enjoyed that.” He seems almost unsure of himself, and she thinks that is cute.

 

“Mhm, I do.” She starts rolling her hips in a slow motion. “But I’m no porcelain doll.” She leans forward to whisper in his ear.

 

“You’re allowed to be a bit rougher.”

 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” He rolls his hips up to meet her downward thrust and she groans, nails digging into his chest.

 

“I’ll make sure to have you scream for me, later.” Rei’s flushed cheeks turn even darker at the promise, but she’s not giving him the lead yet. She rakes her nails down his chest and he hisses, hips jerking upwards at their own volition.

 

“I’d love to see you lose your composure too.” She clenches her muscles and he throws his head back, but barely a sound leaves him. She pouts for all of a second before she resumes her movements. His hands grip her waist, fingers pressing hard enough to bruise as he helps her keep up the momentum, praises her for how she feels, look, sounds, until she arches her back and calls his name. The sight and sound does it for him, and he follows her. She collapses on top of him, twitching and shivering as she descends from her high. He rubs a hand across her back, fingers trailing over her spinal cord, counting every ridge tenderly. Rei lifts her head enough to kiss him, feeling his pierced tongue push past her lips.

 

“Good morning, by the way.” She breathes out and he chuckles.

 

“Good morning.” She’s loathe to move just yet, as her legs feel like jello, but her stomach is growling and she’s in desperate need of a shower, or bath, whichever is more tempting when she’s eaten. She sits up and carefully eases him out of her before flopping onto her side.

 

“Breakfast?”

 

“Sounds nice.” Rei pulls his wrap-sweater on and buttons it up, before trotting out on shaky legs. By the time Uta joins her, she’s put together a simple breakfast they enjoy together. Rei talks about how she’d like for them to take a walk later on that day, go out and enjoy some coffee at the café, perhaps even eat out for once. Uta nods along, agreeing that it sounds nice. Once done eating, Rei skips towards the bathroom.

 

She doesn’t make it that far.

 

Rei doesn’t really mind. It’s nice being all wrapped up in her boyfriend’s limbs again, especially considering it’s been a while since she saw him last. There’s just something comforting about being held close by someone you care a great deal for.

 

“Neh, Uta. Where do you plan on going after finishing university? With your glass crafting, I mean.”

 

“I thought about coming back here.” He says, shifting. It’s already near dinnertime, and they’re still in bed. Well, the more correct saying is that they have finally reached the bed again. Rei can’t feel her legs anymore, so the fun times are set on hold. Still, her body is buzzing with a pleasurable tingle, and she has no desire to move from her spot for the next ten years.

 

“Here?”

 

“Mhm, I’m pretty good at it, after all. I talked with granny about it, and she thinks it’s a good idea to come here too.”

 

“She approves”? He hums, twirling a lock of her hair around his fingers.

 

“Where will you do your apprenticeship? There are no glass crafting studios around here.”  

 

“I’m already doing it.”

 

“Eh?”

 

“That job I got, it’s my apprenticeship. I’ll be done some time after graduating.” She blinks and pushes herself up to hover a bit over him.

 

“Seriously?”

 

“I thought about setting up shop here once I’m done.”

 

“Seriously?!”

 

“I thought you’d like that.” He cocks his head and she nearly burst out crying.

 

“What do _you_ _want_ , Uta?”

 

“I want to open my own shop, sell my own glass-creations, and stay with you.”

 

“Here? Instead of Tokyo? Kyoto?”

 

“I like it here, you like it here, the people are nice and it’s peaceful and safe. We have good memories here.” Rei sometimes feels that Uta is too good for her, and she lays her head down on his chest, listening to his even heartbeat.

 

“You’re far too good for me, Uta.” She murmurs. “Tell me more.” And he does, as she snuggles closer and traces designs across his collarbones.

 

The weekend is over disappointingly quick, and Rei follows Uta to the station.

 

“Stop sighing.” Uta flicks her forehead and she starts, hands shooting to cover the offended area.

 

“I’ll be moving here in six months.”

 

“Yeah, well, that doesn’t make me miss you any less.” She adjusts her collar, conscious of all the marks he has left on her skin. She will have to wear high-collared shirts for some time, because make-up won’t work. The corners of Uta’s lips curl deviously and he leans forward, intruding into her personal space.

 

“What was that for?”

 

“I do look forward to it, having you just within reach at all times, and not having to imagine anything.” Her cheeks flush and she punches him in the arm.

 

“Idiot!” One would think she’d be satisfied after their weekend, but he has a way of riling her up. Too bad for him, she has learned how to play that game. She pulls him down, mashing her lips against his, tongue curling around his and sucking. She pulls back, sees his lidded eyes and whispers.

 

“Imagine me doing that again… further south.” He groans, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

 

“That’s cruel.”

 

“You started it.” She retorts, grinning innocently up at him. Then the speakers announce that Uta’s train is about to depart and that the passengers who haven’t boarded yet should do so now.

 

“See you.” He pats her head and she nods.

 

“See you.”


	14. Shop

Tsumugi helps her grandson get his shop in order, using her fortune to buy the building and getting the necessary equipment. Uta has amassed some merchandise which he kept when he made them during his apprenticeship, but there is room on the shelves for much more. Rei often watch him make decorations, jewellery, colourful glasses and tumblers and all kinds of beautiful creations. It takes him months to get ready to open, but that’s okay. He is genuinely enjoying what he does, and Rei finds it incredible to watch as he forms glass.

 

Renji and Itori visits the day before he opens the shop. The locals are tittering around, curious about the new shop, because heavy draperies covers the windows, hiding the inside from everybody outside. None of Rei’s customers or the people at the coffee shop can pry the information from her either.

 

When she comes home the day before the opening, Renji’s in the kitchen, cooking, Itori is opening the wine bottles and Uta is… nowhere in sight?

 

“Ah, Rei-chan! You’re home!” Itori puts down the bottle and envelops the other woman in a tight hug, squeezing the air out of her.

 

“Itori-chan!” Rei hugs back just as enthusiastically, both of them jumping around in excitement.

 

“It’s been so long!”

 

“Too long!” Itori lets go of her to give her a once over, before hugging her again.

 

“Oh I have missed you!” Rei can’t help but laugh, and returns the sentiment and once Itori finally lets go of her, she heads over to Renji to greet him too. And to help him cook. He accepts the hug and greeting, but shoos her away from the pans, telling her to get herself ready instead. She does as told, fetching clean clothes and jumping into the shower. When she emerges, she sees Uta with the other two already at the table, waiting for her. The dinner is great, the atmosphere light and cheery, and Rei is honestly having the time of her life. They go out to that one tiny bar in their town, find themselves a booth and drink until closing time, where they stumble home.

 

The next morning, Rei curses every decision she made the night before. Her head is pounding, her tongue feels fuzzy and there’s grit on her teeth. Didn’t she brush her teeth before going to bed last night? Or early morning, whenever they got home? She rolls over to find Uta’s side of the bed empty, and she blinks hazy eyes open. The blinds are thankfully shut, but she can see the sunlight peaking through. She rolls frantically, trying to find the edge of the bed through the tangle of sheets and pillows.

 

Had she slept through the opening? Why didn’t Uta wake her up? She wanted to be there, he knows-

 

She falls out of the bed and onto the hard floor, sheets trapping her as she flops around like fish on dry land.

 

“What _are_ you doing?” She finally manages to break free from the treacherous fabric to see Uta stand in the doorway in a pair of sweats, without his piercings and that ridiculous bedhead he sports every morning. Then she notices the two mugs of steaming hot coffee in his hands.

 

“What time is it?” He shuffles in and closes the door with his foot, holding a mug out for her to take.

 

“It’s nine in the morning. Relax, we’ve got time.”

 

“Oh, thank god. I thought I had slept through it.” She exhales in relief and slumps against the bed, taking a few sips of her coffee carefully. The caffeine is doing wonderful things for her complaining body, she just hopes she’ll feel a whole lot better before they head out.

 

“How are the other two doing?”

 

“Itori-san is on her deathbed, I think. Renji-kun has yet to leave the bathroom.”

 

“And you?”

 

“I’m okay.” And she believes him, because the man never gets hungover.

 

“Besides, I didn’t drink as much as you guys because of today.” He quips.

 

“Lucky you, you made clever decisions.” She groans. “Let’s see if I can make us some breakfast… and if we can save the other two.” That is what Rei says, but it takes an hour for her to muster the strength to get up from her spot, in which Renji finally vacates the bathroom and Itori has miraculously revived somewhat from dying. None of the three appreciates Uta’s overly chipper mood, because they all know he’s doing it just to poke fun at their miserable shape.

 

Still, when they’re feeling a bit better, having eaten and are on their way, they watch fondly how the glassmaker walks ahead of them with a bit of a skip in his steps, the only thin betraying just how excited he is. Uta doesn’t expect too much, because it’s a small town and it’s just a decent sized shop with glass-creations and some paintings, but when they arrive, there’s already a small gathering, curious about the new store in their town. By the time they pull down the draperies and open the doors, the crowd has grown bigger. The people stream in, carefully navigating between the shelves. A lot of wares are sold that day, and Uta is pretty happy with it. The website he made where people can order any items they want is shared on social media, getting a lot of views.

 

All in all, it is a great first day, Rei thinks.

 

After that sleepover, Rei and Uta quickly realize that their apartment isn’t quite big enough. If they want guests over, like for example Tsumugi, they need an extra bedroom. As easy as it is to dump their friends on the couch, doing so to the old woman seems rather disrespectful, and not at all comforting or caring. So they casually look into the market for some time before finding something they really like half a year later. They have accumulated a lot of belongings over the years, and it take them an entire weekend to get everything in order, but it is nice, once every item, big or small, is at their respective places.

 

Rei likes this new apartment. The kitchen is bigger, giving her more space for her kitchen items. The bathroom is also a little bit bigger, but not too much. The bedroom is bigger too, with a lot more space for their wardrobe. If she’s home alone, it feels a bit lonely though, because of the size difference, but Rei thinks that’s just something she’ll get used to the longer she lives there.

 

She wakes up, feeling the heat of Uta’s body pressed flush against her back, one of his arms slung over her middle. It’s nice to wake up like this, and not finding him at the edge of the bed or the floor thanks to his sleep acrobatics. She breathes in, then exhales, blinking the sleep from her eyes, shifting a bit. The sunlight is streaming through the window, and she is unfortunately facing said window. She squints and shifts, bringing her left hand up to shield against the sun, only to notice that something is reflecting the light in her hand. She hoists herself up a bit, feeling Uta’s arm slide down as she stares at her hand.

 

And the glass ring with a thin red string inside it on her finger.

 

“Holy shit.” She whispers, eyes wide as she starts remembering.

 

“Hm, yeah, that happened.” Uta shifts behind her, sighing as he slowly wakes up.

 

“Oh, holy shit.” Rei says again, mind trying to properly process what is going on. They had been out on a date, taken a walk along the river-side, where he had pulled the ring out of his pocket and had straight out asked her to marry him. No bended knee or cliched romantic dinner. Just Uta being, well, Uta. Said man shifts behind her again.

 

“Morn-“

 

“Good morning!” She cuts him off by rolling over and pressing her lips against his, beaming at him before looking at the ring again.

 

“Oh it’s so pretty! I have to call Itori-chan!” She rolls out of the bed in a hurry and grabs her phone, jogging out of the room and leaving her fiancé in a daze. He’s glad she’s so excited. Her reaction when he had brought out the ring had been perfect. The surprise, the happiness, how eager she had been for him to put the ring on her finger before hugging him fiercely, he loved that. He is happy she is still excited by the whole thing, because he’s heard about some people who started to rethink the whole thing the day afterwards. Uta will admit that he’s been vaguely worried about it because of her history, how she at times thought less of herself.

 

Thankfully that doesn’t seem to be the case here. His phone buzzes to life on the night table, and he grabs it, seeing a text from Renji.

 

“ _You done it?”_

_“_ Yup.”

 

“ _She said yes?”_

“Yes.”

 

“ _Sweet. Congratulations.”_

 

“Thanks.” He can hear Rei chatter excitedly in the next room, and he guesses he should let her have her privacy for a little while. Besides, he feels no need to get out of the bed just yet. The shop is closed , they are both staying home, they can relax-

 

“Tsumugi-san! Did you-“ He vaults out of the bed, runs into the living room and tries to snag the phone from Rei, only to freeze as he realizes that Rei is still on the phone with Itori and that his grandmother is standing in the hall.

 

“Did I know what?” The old lady croaks and Uta grins nervously. He’s dead, Rei please don’t say anything-

 

“We’re engaged!” Rei exclaims happily and Uta waits for the old lady to say something that might either ruin Rei’s good mood or put him in trouble. Actually, both of these scenarios might be one and the same.  

 

“Oh, so you said yes. Good.” The old lady smiles kindly as Rei hurries to change into presentable clothing, leaving Uta with his grandmother, who promptly stomps on his foot once Rei is out of sight and earshot.

 

“Forget to mention such important matters again, and you’ll hear it.” Tsumugi says, watching her grandson hob away from her.

 

“Sorry!” His foot is throbbing, she could at least have taken her shoes off first, he thinks.

 

“Have you set a date?”

 

“No, not really, I gave her the ring yesterday- You could have called ahead and warned us you were coming!” He raises a brow at her as she saunters past him and towards the kitchen, rolling up the arms of her kimono.

 

“Have you had breakfast yet?”

 

“No, and answer my question please.”

 

“Can’t I visit my grandson when I want to?” The tone she uses is completely out of character, and Uta narrows his eyes suspiciously. She never sounds so demure.

 

“I never said that. I just would have liked a warning so we’d prepare for it.” Uta says as he runs a hand through his wild hair to try and tame it. He’s not very successful. Grumbling to himself, he goes to get dressed, nearly run over by Rei who is _still_ on the phone with Itori.

 

Tsumugi stays with them for two weeks. Rei is ecstatic, Uta is happy, if not a bit frustrated because the old lady is a real, well she’s a fun-stopper, to speak kindly, and really, he does not need that. Though one day, when Tsumugi is at Daisuke’s for a hair-appointment, Rei ambushes him in his shop. It is thrilling, knowing that someone could walk in and hear them in the basement. It might have been terrible for business though but that is the last thing on his mind right then. On the last day, before Tsumugi leaves, she comes by his shop with a question.

 

“You’re absolutely sure about this?”

 

“About what?” Uta asks as he twirls the glass within the oven, shaping it carefully.

 

“Marrying Rei.” He nearly stops his movements, but catches himself.

 

“Of course. I love her. What brought this about?”

 

“I am just making sure, because she’s been through too much to experience heartbreak from you being fickle. I will not hear it that my grandson broke her heart.”

 

“You have nothing to fear from me.” Uta says as he pulls the glass away from the oven, looking over his newest creation.

 

“I actually did think this through, granny.” She nods, satisfied with his answer.

 

“So, what kind of wedding are you going to have?” He groans, because he hasn’t even talked with Rei about it yet, and as such he doesn’t have an answer to his grandmother. He doesn’t want to throw too much at her too quickly.

 

“One thing at a time, granny.”

 

“Hmph!” She harrumphs loudly, but Uta knows it’s not a sound of disappointment he hears from her, so he asks her if she wants him to close shop and follow her to the train station.

 

“Itori came to pick me up. And even so, if I could get here on my own, I can get to the station on my own. I’m not a senile old woman!”

 

 _‘No.”_ Uta thinks. ‘ _You’re just old.’_ But still much spryer than he is, hard as that is to swallow, but smiles and waves as she leaves. At the very least his grandmother approves. He’s done too much the last few years that has caused her to worry and he feels slightly responsible for the grey hair and hunched back. But still, she’s a stubborn woman, and already seem a whole lot better just by knowing where and how Uta is. He wonders when it’ll be okay to ask Rei about setting a date, or what kind of wedding she wants, big or small, traditional or western, where does she want it and things like that. He didn’t propose just so they could rush into something, he proposed just because he felt it was right, and because he and Rei had discussed a future together several times.

 

It just seemed right. And he stands by that decision.

 

Itori sits with Rei at their apartment, twisting and turning Rei’s hand this way and that, just to be able to inspect the ring on Rei’s finger properly from all angles.

 

“He made it himself, right?”

 

“Yeah.” Itori purses her lips, squinting at the jewellery.

 

“I’m jealous. I want something like this too.”

 

“You could ask him, he’d probably make you something.” Rei suggests and Itori drops her hand, raising a brow.

 

“You know what I mean.”

 

“I do. But he still would make you something, just for you and you know that.”

 

“Meh, I know.”

 

“How is Donato-san?”

 

“A real slave driver is what he is!” Itori exclaims and Rei covers her mouth to keep the chuckles from escaping her as the redhead begins to rant about the huge workload the lawyer dumps on her all the time.

 

“Well, you wanted to work with him, as his apprentice.” Rei tries and Itori turns on her.

 

“Yes, as his apprentice, to learn from him, not to be his personal carrier.”

 

“Aren’t you learning from him?”

 

“Be on my side, Rei-chan!”

 

“I am on your side, but I do know that you’re also moaning and complaining about something you actually enjoy. You just want to complain about it to someone, even though it’s good.” Itori exhales loudly and falls against the back of the couch, crossing her arms across her chest, pouting.

 

“Spoilsport.”

 

“Yes, yes. Do you want a refill of coffee?” Rei asks as she gets up from her seat and Itori nods.

 

“Yes, I’d like that. Hey, Rei-chan? What kind of wedding are you two going to have? Am I invited?”

 

“That is a ridiculous question. Of course you’re invited. Why wouldn’t you be?” Rei laughs and the redhead shrugs.

 

“Well, that’d depend on what kind of wedding you’d have, right? Is anyone invited? Is it big, or are you going to just, go and get it fixed at court with a witness?”

 

“I don’t know that yet, we haven’t talked about it.” Rei says as she refills their coffee cups, handing one over to Itori.

 

“But I promise, once we have talked about it and come to a decision, you’ll be the first one I tell.”

 

“Oh you better. This all happened thanks to my genius, after all!”

 

“You told him to propose to me?” Rei raises a brow and Itori rolls her eyes.

 

“Of course not, he came up with that on his own.” Rei smirks, knowing what Itori really means, but shrugs.

 

“Fine, as a reward for making sure we got this far.” Rei tells her and Itori grins happily at her.

 

“Have you planned on having this conversation in the near future?” Itori asks and Rei shrugs. She wonders why Uta haven’t brought the subject up after proposing to her. She’d very much like to discuss the subject, even if she isn’t in a hurry to set a date or anything, she’d like to talk about it, exchange ideas and see what they agree and disagree on. Rei decides to carefully broach the subject this time, first thing when they’re alone again. Uta might be keeping things to himself so as not to overwhelm her, and she can’t have that. Sweet as it is, she did say yes, she let him put the ring on her, and by everything good and holy in this world, _she wants to talk about it._

 

“You’re practically shaking in excitement in your seat.” Itori teases her and Rei shakes her head.

 

“I want to talk about it. But you know, I want to know what you’d want in your own wedding, too.”

 

“Oho, no, nope. I am not having a wedding.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“For that, I would need a partner, and I do so enjoy my freedom.” Itori throws her hair over her shoulder, indeed looking satisfied with how her life is right now and Rei lets the matter be. Itori never keeps a lover for long, and she seems quite satisfied with that.

 

“How’s Renji-kun? And his girlfriend?”

 

“Oh, Ren-chan is doing good. And Sacchan is good for him, in every aspect of the word. She’s sweet, and she doesn’t have a problem with his silent attitude. She talks enough for the both of them, and that makes it actually fun to be with them.”

 

“Meanie.” Rei laughs, pushing her playfully and Itori looks at her phone as it makes a sound.

 

“This was fun, Rei-chan, but I gotta go.”

 

“Aw, can’t you stay for a little while longer?”

 

“I would if I could, but I did come here to pick up Tsumugi-san and she’s ready to leave, and I have a task from Dona-san, and I kinda have to have it ready by tomorrow.” Itori leans over and gives Rei a long hug before she gets up, waving at her as she disappears into the hall.

 

“Have a safe drive home!” Rei calls after her.

 

“I will!” Rei glances at the clock and hums to herself. Uta promised he’d come home early today, so she guesses he won’t be long now, considering Tsumugi has left. He only went in today because Tsumugi wanted to watch him work anyways. So she settles onto the couch with her coffee cup and a good book, enjoying the silence for a short while and becomes so engrossed in her book that she doesn’t even notice Uta arriving.

 

“I find it amusing that you can read horror, but not watch it.” She blinks and looks up to see Uta peering into the pages.

 

“Well, it’s something completely different reading about people being mutilated, than watching someone have their organs pulled out of them.” She answers, looking back down into her book. She feels Uta lean against her, most likely reading alongside with her, not bothered with the fact that he’s missed half of the story already. She finds an appropriate spot to stop and shuts the book, leaning forward to toss it onto the table without disturbing Uta too much.

 

“Hey.”

 

“Hey.” He responds.

 

“How was it? Having Tsumugi-san watch over you while you worked?”

 

“Absolutely terrifying.” He admits, nuzzling his cheek against her shoulder.

 

“I see. Hey, can we talk?” He looks up, raising a brow.

 

“About what? Are you okay?” She smiles, petting his cheek.

 

“Nothing bad. I was just wondering if we could start discussing plans? Not set a date or anything, but just discussing what we’d like?” He stares, before nodding. He thought, for a moment, that something bad had come up, but if it’s only this… He’s glad she took the first step here, because he isn’t sure when he’d find the right opportunity without feeling like he is pushing her.

 

“Anytime. We can discuss that anytime. If you want to start now, I’m in.”

 

“Okay. So let me ask, do you want a wedding, Uta?” He blinks. That isn’t a question he expected thrown at him. He wonders, for a fraction of a second, if Rei is, perhaps, having second thoughts after all.

 

“Don’t you?”

 

“I’m asking you this time.” She says, watching him carefully. “I want to know for certain that you want one too, so that it isn’t just one of us, just so I know for sure that you’re not doing something just for my sake again.” He regards her for a few moments, eyes narrowing.

 

“You think it’s all going too fast.” He says with a finality in his tone and she stares at him for a moment, before nodding.

 

“In a way, yes. I think you’re doing everything you can to please me. I don’t want you to do that.” She says and he draws back a bit.

 

“Don’t take it the wrong way.” She pleads, because it is just as easy for him to misunderstand as it is for her. But she needs him to understand that she wants him to be happy too, and to know for certain that he does things because he wants them too, and not just for her benefit.

 

“I want to be with you. I don’t really care if we’re married or not, I just want to be with you.” Is his answer and she smiles, pulling him forward so she can hug him. She feels better about having talked to him about it, knowing that this all isn’t something he is doing entirely because she wants it, and he wants to please her. Uta just wants to be with her, like she only wants to be with him, and that’s what she wanted to know. Their entire relationship, he has focused more on her needs than his own, she realizes that. But she isn’t a fragile little porcelain doll.

 

A little bit cracked, hurt, and none of that will ever truly disappear, but she’s not fragile. She’s been through a lot, but she’s overcome all the obstacles, and nothing is in the way for a normal life anymore.

 

“Will you marry me, Uta?” He grins at her, raising a brow.

 

“Hey now, I already asked you. Don’t steal my thunder.” But nods anyways.

 


	15. Trip

By the time they actually go through with the wedding, Uta has a second-year apprentice in his shop. Asa proves to be a very dedicated student, and Uta quickly realizes the talents she possesses, beneath the raw, unpolished techniques. She simply needs a bit of encouragement and guidance. So he gives her that, and during that spring vacation where he and Rei leaves on their honeymoon, he leaves her in charge of his store, alongside his grandmother.

 

“You’ve been here more than her, so you’re mostly in charge.” Uta had told the awed blonde young woman. “But she knows a whole lot more about owning a store, so listen to any advice she gives you, okay? She kind of built her own little empire.” The blonde nods vigorously, still speechless. It’s only when she and Uta closes the shop that evening that she manages to bring the matter up again.

 

“A-Are you absolutely sure about this, Uta-san? Leaving me in charge?”

 

“I wouldn’t do it if I wasn’t sure you’d manage. And it’s only two weeks, you’ll be fine.”

 

“But, what if I mess up?”

 

“Every day will be like any other day.” He assures her. “The only difference is that I won’t be here. But granny will take care of anything that pops up. So lower your shoulders, take a deep breath, and believe in yourself.”

 

The two aren’t planning on going far from home, really. They move around in Japan, visiting historical sites and old-styled inns, just enjoying time together without any other responsibilities hanging over them. They feel rather refreshed when they return to their home, dropping their suitcases and just flopping onto the bed, not wanting to unpack their stuff just yet.

 

“How is Asa-kun doing?” Rei asks as she stretches out.

 

“Who knows. She never called or texted me, so she’s probably okay.” Uta answers, curling around his pillow.

 

“It’s late, but you should probably check up on her tomorrow.” Rei sighs, glancing over to see him nod.

 

“Don’t fall asleep.” She swats after him and he buries his face in the pillow further, his voice muffled as he speaks again.

 

“Buf ’m fired.”

 

“Fired?” She cracks a laugh and he pulls away just a fraction to correct her.

 

“Tired.” He mutters before burying his face in the pillow again.

 

“You can’t sleep in your clothes.”

 

“Undress me then.”

 

“In your dreams.” She snorts and feels the bed shake slightly with his laughter. She laughs too, but then she rolls off the bed and hurries to the bathroom. Uta lifts his head, brow raising. He weighs the pros and cons of staying in bed.

 

Pro is, he’s tired, he feels comfortable, he could fall asleep just like this.

 

Con, until he actually falls asleep, he’ll lie here wondering what is wrong.

 

The sound of retching makes him slide off the bed and follow her, gathering her hair in his hands when he enters the bathroom and pulling it back for her.

 

“You okay?” He asks when she pulls back, breathing harshly, but no longer throwing up.

 

“Yes, yes, I’m fine, I think.”

 

“Are you coming down with something?” He asks and she looks up at him.

 

“Not sure. Maybe I’m just tired? Or something I ate?” He frowns, but accepts the explanation. Rei seems to be just as confused as he is, after all. For a few days it seems like it is okay too, and they go back to their respective professions. Rei’s customers are polite enough to ask about how her trip was, and Daisuke is polite enough to only ask for the juicy details once they have their lunch-breaks in privacy.

 

She doesn’t tell him the juicy details, laughing at his overdramatic moaning.

 

Uta is a lot luckier, considering his only apprentice is more interested in learning more about glassmaking from him than anything about his personal life. Things are normal for a few weeks, but then Uta wakes up the sound of Rei in the bathroom again, and he slides out of bed, trotting out to the bathroom.

 

“Rei?” She waves her hand, signalling that she doesn’t want him in there, so he leaves her alone, instead moving towards the kitchen. He can smell the bitter smell of coffee and realizes as he enters the kitchen that Rei has been awake for some time already. A plate of breakfast and a cup of coffee is on the table, half-eaten. He wonders if the food has gone bad, and if he should just buy something on the way to his shop. When Rei finally emerges from the bathroom, she grabs her phone and dials a number, calling Daisuke to tell him she won’t be coming in today.

 

“I’m not feeling well. Yes, I’m sorry, I’ll be back as soon as I can. Yes, yes, I’m sorry, but I’ll get better soon, I promise. Thank you.” She sighs as she sits down by the table. She looks like she wants to eat more, but then pushes the plate away, looking positively nauseas again.

 

“You sure you’re not coming down with something?” Uta asks as he pulls a cup out of the cupboard, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

 

“I felt fine when I woke up.” She says, frowning. “I might have a stomach bug, I don’t think it can be anything else. But I’m taking the day off, just to be sure.” She tells him as he takes a seat by the table.

 

“You want me to stay home with you?”

 

“And put poor Asa-kun all alone in your shop? Not happening.” Rei shakes her head with a laugh. She assures him she’ll be fine, even if she finds herself heaving over the toilet one more time before he leaves. While Uta would like to leave a little later than normal, let Asa open shop and get things ready just so he can make absolutely sure, he needs to remember that Rei knows how to take care of herself. She’s come a long way, feeling a bit sick won’t have her feel absolutely useless and foolish. So he leaves after making sure she will call him if she becomes worse. Rei decides to attempt at taking a nap, but that idea falls through quickly, as she isn’t remotely sleepy. She attempts at reading her book, but she feels her stomach rolling at a particularly gruesome scene, and she closes it, dropping it onto the table.

 

She glances at her phone, the gears in her head moving as she bites her lip. She feels slightly better, so she doesn’t have the heart to call Uta and worry him, but she’s bored out of her mind. So she calls Hitomi, tells her what’s wrong and asks if her friend is free and wants to come over. The blonde agrees, but Rei thinks she’s using an awful long time getting here, though she realizes quickly why when she opens the door. Hitomi is holding two bags, one small, one big. She’s brought something to eat and drink, telling Rei she shouldn’t have to worry about making something for her guest when she isn’t feeling well.

 

“What’s in the small bag, though?” Rei asks as she sets out the plates for them and Hitomi stares at her for a moment.

 

“I don’t want to worry you, but just in case.” The blonde tells her and hands the younger woman the bag. Rei looks through it, and her eyes widen before she looks up at her former co-worker.

 

“You…”

 

“Just to be safe.” Hitomi says, taking the bag from her. “But not yet, if you’re worried. Let’s eat a bit first, yeah? Get some food into you.” Rei nods. She tries to push the thought away as they eat and chat, and she’s glad to know that the food Hitomi brought stays down. That is a relief, she thinks. When she eyes the bag again, Hitomi asks her if the younger woman wants her to stay or not.

 

“Stay. Just… please stay.” Rei says as she grabs the bag with shaking hands, nearly dropping it on her way to the bathroom. Hitomi waits outside, a worried frown on her face. Whether or not this will end well is something she can only learn from Rei’s reaction later on. The younger woman exits not long after, an item wrapped in a paper towel in her hand. Hitomi holds her free hand in a gesture of comfort as they wait for the result.

 

“Rei-chan.” Hitomi nudges said woman when she remains still as a statue after the time’s up and the white-haired woman makes no move.

 

“Right.” Rei swallows and unwraps the paper towel, staring at the pregnancy test in her hand. She holds it up, hand shaking so bad Hitomi actually has to support her arm to calm the shaking enough to see the results. Rei releases a shuddering sigh as she wraps it in the paper towel again, laying it down on the table.

 

“I’m pregnant?” She says airily, staring at her lap for many long moments as it sinks in, before looking up at Hitomi again.

 

“I’m pregnant.”

 

“Congratulations!” Hitomi hugs her, laughing with the younger woman. Rei doesn’t seem scared or dissatisfied, so Hitomi is happy on her behalf. Considering how calm Rei is, despite the glee she’s practically squealing out, this must have been a subject she and Uta have discussed once or twice, at the very least.

 

“You’ve talked about this?” She asks just to make sure, and Rei nods.

 

“A few times. We wanted one, at the very least. We just thought we wouldn’t be doing anything about it before later on, as in, in a few years.” There are tears escaping Rei’s eyes, but they are gently wiped away by Hitomi.

 

“How will you tell your hubby? Make him a really nice dinner and drop the bomb in the middle of the meal? Leave the test out in the open for him to find? That one usually causes a funny reaction.”

 

“I’ll just flat-out tell him.” Rei tells Hitomi and the blonde pouts at her.

 

“You’re no fun.” She moans, but then she straightens up again.

 

“If this wasn’t planned so early, I want to know what caused this to happen.” She wiggles her brows, not actually expecting the younger woman to tell her anything, but seeking to make her laugh at bit.

 

“I am really _not_ telling you that.” Rei can still get embarrassed when questioned like this by the older woman, even though it’s been like this for years now.

 

“But if I remember correctly, it might have been an incident involving stockings.” Hitomi bursts out laughing, falling back in her seat as she shakes with mirth. Her wild cackles fill the entire apartment and Rei giggles along.

 

“Your knight is still a sucker for stockings, hm?”

 

“Very.” Rei admits. “It’s fun to tease him sometimes. I owe you for those shopping trips.”

 

“Nah, it was all in good fun.” Hitomi waves her arm before pulling her wristwatch up to her face.

 

“I have to go now, though. Good luck.” Hitomi gives her friend one last hug before she leaves. Rei takes a shower once she has calmed down a bit and gets dressed, leaving their home. The closer she gets to the shop, the more nervous she becomes. It’s not like they haven’t talked about this, they have talked about it a lot, actually, but it really was more down the line than their current situation. Still, she doesn’t believe it will be a problem. The both of them have jobs, a stable economy, a home, and their relationship is as strong as it’ll ever be. She doesn’t think Uta will have any negative thoughts about this. These are news she can confidently tell him, and she won’t be afraid of his response.

 

Upon entering the shop, she only sees Asa.

 

“Asa-kun, is Uta here?” The younger woman jumps and nearly drops the glass-creation in her hands.

 

“Y-Yamagata-san!” Rei feels bad, because the girl looks really shaken.

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

 

“No, it’s okay. I should have heard the door open. Uta-san is downstairs, working.” Asa says, a hand over her chest as she gets her bearings together again. Rei smiles and nods in thanks and moves towards the stairs leading down to the cellar. She finds Uta blowing into the pipe, carefully turning the glass in the heat of the furnace. She wonders if she should wait for him to finish, however long that takes, but he looks up and inclines his head, silently telling her it is okay to come a bit closer.

 

“Are you feeling better?” Uta asks.

 

“Mhm, I figured out what it is.” She answers him.

 

“Nothing serious, I hope?” Uta pulls the glass out of the furnace, grabbing a tweezer to carefully pull the soft glass off of the pipe and move it to a pontil.

 

“It kind of is.” Uta frowns and sets his equipment down, pulling off his protective glasses and gloves.

 

“What is it?”

 

“It _is_ a stomach bug.” Rei begins and watches as his brows furrow deeper, because he can’t quite connect the dots between stomach bug and something serious.

 

“And we made it together.” She clarifies as he lays a hand over her forehead. He stops moving, and Rei counts the seconds it takes before he lowers his arms and speaks again. Thirty whole seconds. It’s actually a bit funny.

 

“No?” Oh, he is processing. Incredible.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Seriously?” Well, not fully functional, but good enough.

 

“Mhm.” His lips barely curl up, but his eyes are wide.

 

“Seriously?” He says with such wonder that she breaks out into giggles.

 

“Yes.”

 


	16. Ups and Downs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guess what is NOT a waterslide

The pregnancy has its ups and downs. Rei at first is anxious that the beating her body has taken will perhaps affect her condition, giving her a greater chance than normal for a miscarriage. Her doctor assures her everything is alright, but Uta has to reassure her several times later on as well when her worries keeps her awake at night.

 

What is indefinitely worse is the history of mothers dying in childbirth on Rei’s mother’s side of the family. Even that the doctors assure her is taken into account, and that when the time comes, they will be prepared to give her the best care to avoid such a situation. It only alleviates her worries a little bit.

 

They argue. A lot. They usually never do, but Rei’s mood swings hit her hard and so unexpected Uta can’t always keep up. Sometimes they happen when his own mood is shit and those situations aren’t exactly pretty. One of these times ended up with him sleeping in the guestroom for two whole nights.

 

But despite these hurdles it’s obvious that they’re excited about the prospect of a new family member. When Rei’s in her fifth month, Uta takes some time off and starts redecorating the guest room. They’ve found out the gender, and want the room to be done by the time the baby is born. Rei has given Uta free reign with everything but the colours, those she chose herself. The walls will be a pastel pink, and the roof will be a pretty sky-blue. They cover the floor with a sheet, and Rei does simple household chores as Uta paints the roof blue.

 

Hitomi steals her a bit, going shopping for baby clothes, even though they have all the time in the world yet. The woman seems almost more excited than Rei and Uta themselves, it’s almost hilarious.

 

When they return, Uta’s mostly done. They put the bags down on the floor, and Rei calls out for him, asking if he needs any help. He exits the room, shirtless and full of paint splatters. Hitomi pauses, staring while Rei just walks up to him, accepts the chaste kiss to her forehead, and ventures into the baby’s room.

 

‘ _Why is a glassmaker so damn built?’_

 

“Oh, it looks really nice!” She tells him, smiling. He seems very happy with her praise, and when he, a few days later, is about to start working on the walls, she joins him. On more than one occasion do they swing the paintbrushes at each other, and emerge from the room, clothing and themselves a lovely pastel pink colour. Rei finds that fixing up the room together is an incredibly fulfilling activity. They don’t argue about it, for one, and that’s nice. Once the layers of paint are dry they clean the room and assembles the crib first.

 

Uta is not amused by the terrible manual coming along with the parts, and Rei finds herself smothering her laughter more often than not when it seems like he want to break every part in two out of frustration. They put together a small dresser and a tiny bookshelf filled with children’s tales on it, and Rei admits that this is turning out to be quite well done. She is proud of the work they’ve put into this. Uta fixes a hook into the top of the window sill and she tilts her head curiously, asking him what it is for. He just grins at her and tells her she’ll see.

 

Two weeks later he returns with a small wind-chime of glass with all sorts of colours in it. It is breath-taking the effect it has on the room when the sunlight hits it just right.

 

“I’m going to be the strict parent, aren’t I?” Rey says as she watches Uta secure the glasswork. He shoots her a grin over his shoulder.

 

“You get that from this?” He asks and she rolls her eyes.

 

“Your personality, mostly.”

 

“Ouch?”

 

There are many things about the pregnancy that surprises Rei. Some she finds less than desirable, others she delights in. One big surprise is how Uta finds her pregnancy incredibly, well the word he used at the time was _hot._ Rei is not complaining about that. She knew that he wouldn’t find her any less attractive even as she widened out and she herself felt like she looked like a waddling penguin, but it sure is a confidence boost whenever he stares at her _like that_. She still experiences times where she feels like she’s cracking, falling apart and Uta finds her curled up in a ball in the shower in the middle of the night.

 

“I’m scared, I’m so scared.” She whimpers as he turns off the water and wraps her in a towel.

 

“Scared of what?”

 

“Of ending up like mom!” She wails. He doesn’t quite know what to say to her to calm her down. The doctor has assured her that everything will be fine, if she can’t believe the doctor, how can she believe him?

 

“It will be fine-“

 

“How can you know that?” She exclaims, pushing at him to make some space between them, and he lets her.

 

“Because I believe in the doctor who has spent years studying to get his medical license. If he says it will be okay, it will be okay. The medical field has come some way since you were born.” He says calmly. Rei doesn’t find that very comforting, and curls into herself more. It’s hard to do with her stomach in the way, but she wraps her arms around it the best she can.

 

“I want to be there! I want to see them grow up! I don’t want to end up like mom! _I don’t want you to end up like dad!”_

 

“ _I won’t!”_ She jumps startled. Uta isn’t yelling, nor is his voice particularly loud, but it is the way he growls it out that startles her.

 

“Uta?”

 

“You’ll be fine, everything will be fine. I’ll be in the room with you the whole time to reassure you if you want me to, and you’ll be fine. We’ll both be fine, and you’ll get to experience all that you want to. You just have to believe me, and calm down and take care of yourself, okay?” She blinks up at him through the tears, allows him to finally move closer and wipe them away. She hugs him, cries again as she tells him she’s sorry for worrying him, sorry for yelling and attacking him as she did. He tells her not to worry about it, that he understands that she is worried, that her insecurities come out and plays with her emotions when she is so vulnerable.

 

“It’s okay, it’s normal. Nothing to apologize for.” He mutters as he untangles himself from her just enough that he can get a good look on her face, before he presses a kiss to her forehead.

 

“It’s okay. Everything will be okay. You’ve come so far, gotten over obstacles far worse than this. Everything will be okay.” He murmurs again, feels her tight grip on him loosen up a bit as she pulls back and grabs the towel wrapped around her.

 

“I want to go back to bed.” She says quietly and he nods, helping her dry off and getting rid of his own wet clothes, getting new ones. Rei is tired, exhausted really, but sleep doesn’t come easily to her, not even when he wraps his arms around her from behind and holds her close. Just because she’s acknowledged that Uta is being more rational and logical about the situation, it doesn’t miraculously make her feel perfectly fine about everything either. But being able to talk with Uta, tell him her concerns and not being ridiculed for it makes her feel at least a little bit better, if only a little.

 

“It’s going to be okay, you’ll see.” Uta mutters suddenly and she turns her head to look at him over her shoulder. One of his hands interlock the fingers with hers, the other carefully rubbing her swollen stomach.

 

“Once the baby’s born, we’ll lead the most boring, mundane life together as possible. It’ll be like a real soap opera without any of the uneccessary drama.” She blinks, before bursting out into giggles.

 

“A soap opera?” She stammers between giggles, shaking where she lays.

 

“The best I could come up with.” She feels him shrug.

 

“You weirdo.”

 

“Ouch.”

 

When they near the end of the term, Uta offers Rei to stay home with her and let Asa work the store, but Rei refuses.

 

“We’ve already arranged for you to be free at the due date. We’ll be fine.” She pats her stomach with a smile. For once Uta is the one who is worried, but Itori and Tsumugi throws a surprise visit a few days later. Itori for support, and because she is free and excited, and Tsumugi wants to see how they’re doing. The old lady also says that she figures they need someone who’s done this before, and isn’t prone to panic when it begins. She shoots Uta a look as she says this and the glassmaker rolls his eyes with a scoff, not oblivious to the jab.

 

It happens when they’re at the café Uta used to work at. Rei suddenly wanted cake, and the other two obliges her. It is too bad that by the time the cake arrives at their table, she feels that something is not quite right.

 

“Rei-chan?” Itori tilts her head and Rei lays a hand on her stomach, frowning.

 

“Something feels weird.” Then she yelps and hunches over the table.

 

“Itori-kun, get the waitress to call a cab. We’re going to the hospital.” Tsumugi says in a no-nonsense voice, appearing much calmer than the two younger women. The ginger rushes off as Tsumugi moves to stand beside Rei, who is nearly hyperventilating already.

 

“Deep breaths, girl.”

 

“It’s too early! Something must be wrong!”

 

“Only by a few days. Such things are normal. Keep calm, nothing is wrong.” Tsumugi tells her, letting the younger girl hold her hand as she consoles her. So Rei does her best to comply and smiles thankfully when Koma rushes over with Itori on his heels, saying he can drive them right now as his shift is over. As they climb into his car, Itori calls Uta, telling him to hurry to the hospital as well.

 

“Why? What’s wrong?!”

 

“What do you think is hap-“

 

“Just tell him to _hurry the fuck up!_ ” There is a shocked silence in the car at Rei’s outburst, before Itori hears the dull beeping tone on the other side.

 

The nurses are very nice, calming and despite the contractions growing more and more painful, and closer to each other as well, Rei has calmed down by the time Uta arrives. When he does, Tsumugi and Itori leaves the room, as it is already too many people in there now. They wait out in the hallway, on chairs that are far from comfortable to sit in. Itori glances at her wristwatch, nursing the can of coffee she got from the wending machine.

 

“Eleven hours now.” She mutters, and Tsumugi scoffs.

 

“It can take a whole lot longer than that. Prepare yourself for at least staying a whole day.”

 

“Sounds exhausting. In how much discomfort do you think Rei-chan is in now?” The old lady levels the ginger with a look and she slumps back into her chair.

 

“Are you hungry, Tsumugi-san? I’ll find some food.”

 

“Just tea, please.”

 

Itori gets several phone calls as they wait, from Renji and his fiancé, to think that he actually got engaged, from Kado and his brother Sumi, from her younger sister Roma, Touka and Kaneki. They won’t leave her alone, so she engages them in a group call.

 

“She’s still in there- yeah I know, but apparently, the birth canal _isn’t a freaking waterslide-_ , you know what? I’ll call you once it’s over and they actually have a baby out of her body!”

 

“ _Itori-_ “

 

“This could take hours, and Uta just asked me to go back to their apartment to get that pre-packed bag of theirs because, and you did not hear this from me, he panicked and forgot to bring it.” There’s laughter on the other end before Itori hangs up and hails a cab back to the couple’s apartment, finding the bag in the closet. When she returns to the hospital, not much has changed. She checks her watch again.

 

“Twenty-six hours. Damn.” Then she sees a nurse hurry into the room Rei and Uta are in, and she can hear Rei yell.

 

“It’s begun.” Tsumugi says, and Itori can’t help but draw a parallel between the old lady and a movie general proclaiming a war to break out. Itori admits that she’s feeling worried the longer they sit outside waiting, and it feels like time is moving at a snail’s pace, until finally, the door opens and Uta pokes his messy head out. When he sees them, he gestures for them to come on in. Itori wrinkles her nose at the smell of sweat and blood, though the stink is quickly forgotten when she sees her friend holding a tiny bundle.

 

“You look like shit.” Itori says, and Rei does, really. Her hair is plastered to her skin, mussed up in a very unattractive way and she’s a bit pale and obviously very tired, but she looks happy too.

 

“You’re just jealous.” Rei counters and the ginger shrugs, neither confirming or denying anything as she moves closer to take a better look.

 

“What’s her name?”

 

“Chouko.” Uta answers, sitting down on the chair by the bed. They don’t have long before they’ll be moved into another room, a room in which they can spend a night or more in, so both parents want to rest up a bit.

 

“See?” He tells Rei, poking her nose. “I told you everything would be fine.”

 

“Here’s the bag.” Itori dumps it by Uta’s feet, regretfully breaking the little moment the two newly made parents has, and Uta pouts up at her, before nodding in thanks.

 

“You forgot it?” Rei giggles as her husband stretches out his legs and sinks into his seat like jello.

 

“I was in a hurry.” He mutters, recalling how he barely told Asa what was going on before he was out the door. He looks up at Rei, the smile fading from his face when he sees it.

 

“Rei?” She doesn’t respond, doesn’t stir, doesn’t react at all. Normally, he wouldn’t think much of her closing her eyes and resting her head against the pillow because the woman is exhausted, but a small spark of panic grabs him when she doesn’t respond.

 

“Rei?” He demands and doesn’t realize he’s holding his breath until she sighs.

 

“m awake, I’m awake, I promise.” She says, lifting her head and opening her eyes again.

 

“I’m just so _tired_.”

 

“We’ll leave you to it.” Tsumugi says, and while Itori is about to argue and say she wants to stay a bit longer, Tsumugi urges her out with light hits from her cane. Once the door is shut behind them, Rei can’t help but chuckle tiredly.

 

“One day someone is going to take that cane away from her.”

 

“Yeah.” Uta says distantly, brows furrowing together.


	17. End

Chouko likes it when her father comes to pick her up after school. Her father is like no one else’s, and the other children always stare at him when he enters the school grounds. Because he has so many piercings and tattoos and inked eyes and long hair, everyone thinks he’s cool. And he’s also so nice, really. Also, Chouko really likes how he lifts her up and spins her in the air.

 

“Daddy, stop!” She squeals as he squashes her cheek against his and she can hear his ear-piercings jingle with each movement.

 

“Never!” Uta replies but does pull back to kiss her cheek.

 

“Come on, princess, dinner’s waiting.” Chouko turns towards her friends and waves goodbye, before latching onto her father’s inked hand as they head home. She skips beside him, never really thinking about how he slows his pace just so she can keep up while babbling on and on about what has happened at school today, before he suddenly stops her.

 

“What?”

 

“Look here.” He says, crouching in front of her and carefully reaching into her hair. When he pulls his hand back, she sees that he has a tiny little ladybug perched on his finger.

 

“Ooh!”

 

“She’s been hitching a ride.” Uta grins as Chouko presses the tip of her finger to his, watching as the red, white and black insect crawls over to her hand instead. The rest of the trip back home is just Uta silently amused by his daughter’s interest in the insect in her hand. When they stop outside their building, Uta crouches down again, carefully pulling his daughter hand out.

 

“Time to let it fly, Chouko.”

 

“It could have gone whenever it wanted to, papa. It wants to stay with me.” He tilts his head at her, blinking, before giving her a small smile, a smile that tells her he knows something she doesn’t. She’s suddenly very eager to hear it.

 

“It just wants to bring you good luck.” He tells her and she blinks.

 

“How?”

 

“If you let it crawl out on your pointy finger like this-“ He says, helping her in giving the ladybug only one path to go, “- and she flies off from it, it’ll bring you good luck.”

 

“Really?” Chouko is amazed at the knowledge her father possesses and looks down at her hand again.

 

“How do I make it fly?”

 

“Just stretch out your arm, and wave like this.” He says, pulling her hand down a bit, before lifting it up quickly. The ladybug shoots off, and disappears quickly.

 

“ _Wow!_ ” She turns her head left and right, up and down, before turning to her father.

 

“Where did it go?”

 

“Probably back to her own home.” He says before standing up and offering his hand again. “Let’s get inside and eat, hm?” Chouko nods eagerly, grabbing a hold of his hand and letting herself be led up the stairs.

 

“We’re home!” She exclaims as she storms through the door. The smell of food hangs heavily in the air as the girl hurries to toe off her shoes and race inside to the kitchen.

 

“Welcome home.” Rei looks down at her daughter who is tugging on her pants.

 

“Hug!” Rei grins, leans down, and allows the girl to give her a brief hug before she turns her attention back on the food again.

 

“Did you place your shoes nicely on the shoe shelf?” She asks her girl who nods enthusiastically.

 

“Then, will you help your dad set the table?”

 

“Yes!”

 

After dinner, as Rei is cleaning up the mess on the table and counters, Uta is helping Chouko out with what homework she has. Once everyone are done with their assignments, the family drops into a huge pile of cuddles in front of the television. Chouko is more into the programs on TV than her parents are, but that is okay. She is the one with the remote after all. Rei finds her book and sinks deeper into the crook of Uta’s arm as she loses herself to the words.

 

Chouko releases a long yawn and Rei looks up from her book, waiting for a second one before she closes the book and sits up a bit.

 

“I think it’s time for bed.” Chouko snaps her mouth shut and stares at her mother.

 

“But mommy!”

 

“No buts. You’ve already been allowed to stay up for way longer than is normal. It’s already nine in the evening.” Chouko turns towards her father, crawling over her mother to reach him.

 

“Daddy!”

 

“Sorry princess.” Uta says with an apologetic smile. “If the queen says it’s time for bed, it’s time for bed.” The little girl furrows her brows and crosses her arms, appearing to be thinking deeply about something. Her parents wait, wondering what she’ll come up with next.

 

“If I’m a princess, and mommy is the queen, then you’re the king. You’re in charge, you’re the ruler!”

 

“And a good ruler knows when to abide by the queens wishes.” Uta replies, not missing a beat and Rei hides a chuckle behind her hand as Chouko falls back with an adorable pout.

 

“You’re afraid of mommy’s leather whip!” Chouko accuses him and Rei’s laughter dies as she chokes on air and Uta’s eyes widen to the size of saucers.

 

“Aunt Itori says it means mommy’s holding the reigns-“

 

“Yes, we know what it means, and it’s not true!” Rei hurries to tell her, shooting Uta a look as she lifts the six-year old up and brings her to the bathroom to change into pyjamas and brush her teeth. As Rei does that, Uta makes a call to Itori, and they have a small chat about what the redhead can and can’t say when in the presence of Chouko.

 

 _“It is true though.”_ Itori whines.

 

“It’s not. And even if it was, just say Rei is the one in charge, don’t mention leather whips, or anything else like that.” Chouko charges out of the bathroom and jumps onto him, demanding he hug her goodnight.

 

“Night, kiddo. Say goodnight to aunt Itori too?” He holds the phone out and the little girl grabs it.

 

“Goodnight, aunty Itori!”

 

_“Aw, nighty-night, sweetie! I’m looking forward to seeing you again soon!”_

 

“Me too!”

 

“Chouko?” Rei calls out and the dark-haired girl disappears down the hall again. Uta sighs before putting the phone next to his ear again.

 

“So-“

 

 _“Rei-chan is the one wearing the pants in your relationship._ ” Itori says with a laugh and Uta chuckles along.

 

“No, we just happen to agree on most things. But just be careful how you talk around her, okay? I’m the closest victim here. If Rei gets mad, you’ll find my body in a ditch somewhere.”

 

 _“Fine, fi_ _~ne.”_ Itori sounds disgruntled, but promises to be more careful about her wording in the future before she hangs up. The glassmaker chances a glance into his daughter’s bedroom after ending the call, seeing the girl fighting to keep her eyes open despite her earlier protests as her mother reads her a bedtime story. He ducks into the bathroom and begins to fill the tub with water. By the time Rei closes the door to Chouko’s room, the tub’s filled and he pokes his head out.

 

“Care for a bath?”

 

“Yes, please.” She sighs as she sinks into the water, back against his chest. Her shoulders sag and she feels the tension disappear. Sometimes, baths can be heaven, or as close as she’ll ever get to it.

 

“I’ve asked Itori to be a bit more careful with her wording.” Uta says, pulling Rei’s hair back. It’s grown long again, and he brushes his fingers through it, working out the tangles of the strands still dry.

 

“Good. I don’t want Chouko to say things like that around the other children.” Rei says, enjoying the caress.

 

“Hm, no, that wouldn’t reflect well on us, would it?”

 

“No. Though it was a bit funny.” Rei admits with a giggle and he chuckles quietly as well.

 

“Hm, a leather whip huh…” She turns her head and raises a brow at him.

 

“What are you thinking about?”

 

“You as a dominatrix.” She slaps his chest, cheeks dusted pink, releasing a squawk.

 

“Banish the thought!” She snaps, and he smoothers a laugh with the back of his hand. Chouko’s finally asleep, it would do them no good to accidentally wake her up. He adores the blush on Rei’s face though, and moves to rest his chin on her shoulder, arms resting over the sides of the tub.

 

“Sorry. Did I make you uncomfortable?”

 

“No.”

 

“Embarrass you then?”

 

“Stuff like that isn’t embarrassing after having been in a relationship with you for as long as I have.” She says before pecking his cheek.

 

“But with a six-year-old in the house, don’t expect me to act out any fantasies of yours.”

 

“So you’re saying you will if she’s not at home?”

 

“I will drown you.” She threatens darkly and he leans back, grinning mischievously.

 

“You love me too much.” He says with such certainty she kind of wants to pinch him in the side, but it is true.

 

“You’re lucky I do.” She says and turns back around so she can relax against him again. It’s been a long day, and she’s very tired. The hot bathwater soothes her tired body and she feels herself grow drowsy. She moves to grab one of Uta’s hands, thumbs moving over the ink on his skin. She likes tracing his tattoos, the intricate designs inked into his skin like a permanent art show, like a story almost. They remind her of the months they spent as run-aways, how he had sacrificed a lot for her sake, and how it had all turned out well in the end. She even has her own little tattoo, on her left shoulder blade. A design of Uta’s, a butterfly in pastel colours, wings torn and a little bit rough, but still pretty.

 

“Our little adventure ended with us getting Chouko.” She says quietly.

 

“Ended?” He muses behind her, and she can practically hear his smirk.

 

“Ended _up in_.” She corrects herself before sinking down into the water a bit, only stopping when he wraps and arm around her middle.

 

“Are you falling asleep?”

 

“Hm, maybe.” She hums, far too comfortable to really give a damn.

 

“Then it’s time for us to go to bed too.” He declares and she sighs. The water is still so warm and inviting.

 

“But Uta-“

 

“So the king declares.” He cuts her off and she gives him a look, but doesn’t argue. Once they are dry, dressed and in bed, Uta wraps himself around her like a koala. She feels safe like this, and enjoys it, even if it is unbearably warm in the spring air. The drowsiness hits her hard, and her eyes flutter close. Rei isn’t sure how long she sleeps and isn’t even sure if she is fully awake when she feels a slight movement and hears quiet voices.

 

“Mhm, but be quiet. Mommy’s sleeping.” Uta. Uta’s talking quietly.

 

“Ninja quiet?” Her pillow rumbles with quiet laughter. It doesn’t wake Rei up, it rather lulls her further back into sleep.

 

“Yes, ninja quiet.” There’s the shuffle of feet, a slight dip in the mattress and a few more quiet whispers before it’s quiet again. Rei starts to dream.

 

When she waks up the next morning, she’s cradled against Uta’s left side, and she can see a mop of black hair on his other side. She smiles as she sits up, staring down at the little girl snuggled up against her father. She takes a quick photo with her phone, giggling quietly. It’s her day off, schools out for spring vacation and Uta doesn’t have to get up before eleven at the very latest. She begins to pull herself up and away, but the arm wrapped around her middle tightens.

 

“ ‘s too early.” Uta mutters, shifting, turning his head in her direction but doesn’t open his eyes, nor does he say or move any more after that. She thinks he was awake for only a second before falling asleep again. He is right though. It is far too early to get up on a day off. The sun is barely peeking through the blinds. So she shuffles up to rest her head over his chest. She’s not sleepy though, so she knows she won’t fall asleep again no matter how comfortable she is, so she passes the time scrolling through her phone. Then suddenly the doorbell rings and Rei slides out of bed. Uta just groans and turns away while Chouko whines and burrows beneath the covers. Rei grins.

 

Like father like daughter.

 

She pulls on her robe and moves out to open the door, finding Tsumugi on the other side.

 

“Tsumugi-san.” She moves aside so the old lady can enter.

 

“You’re here early.” There’s no annoyance in Rei’s tone, only slight humour as she moves towards the kitchen, finding what she needs to make her grandmother-in-law some tea.

 

“Psh, you’re just sleeping in.”

 

“It’s seven-thirty in the morning.” Rei laughs. “Chouko is excited to visit you during spring break. She’ll be excited to wake up to you already being here.” Rei adds as she boils the water.

 

“That’s good to hear, and it seems like perhaps you need a week for yourselves too.” Tsumugi is in many ways exactly like her grandson. Very perceptive.

 

“It’s been a bit much lately. Uta’s just finished that huge order he got, and I’ve finally got a few days off too now. It’d be nice with some quiet hours.” She says as she hands Tsumugi the cup of tea. She neglects to say why she needs a few days of peace and quiet, but Tsumugi understands.

 

“It is okay to want and take a break every now and then. I’m more than happy to have Chouko over at my home.” Rei smiles gratefully and tells the lady that Chouko’s bags are all packed already.

 

“Then I’ll have my idiot grandson carry them to the train station.” Tsumugi huffs and Rei laughs again.

 

“I’ll do what?” Uta asks as he shuffles out of the bedroom, not quite awake yet but unable to fall asleep now that they have a visitor.

 

“Help us carry Chouko’s luggage to the station.

 

“Sure.” He moves to the coffee maker, and fiddles with is as Chouko shuffles out as well, yawning widely and rubbing her eyes, though when she sees Tsumugi she’s instantly awake.

 

“Gran-gran!”

 

“Chouko, good morning.”

 

“Good morning!” The girl crawls into her great-grandmother’s lap and hugs her enthusiastically.

 

“Ready for a week in Tokyo?”

 

“Yes!” They’ve done this before. Chouko loves spending time with her great-grandmother in Tokyo, but Rei still finds it hard to let her little girl go off on a trip without her and Uta. It’s just a sense of worry that will probably never leave her. Whether it comes from her own terrible experiences, or her maternal instincts she doesn’t know. Yet this feeling doesn’t leave her, even as they stand at the station, ready to send the two off on their own.

 

“You be good, okay?” She tells Chouko, who nods happily.

 

“Mhm! I’ll behave! Gran-gran said she’d take me to the aquarium if I behaved!” Rei smiles. Chouko is a bright child, curious like her father and rather well-behaved for a six-year old, especially if there is something to be gained from it. Rather than call the girl just well-behaved, one could say she is rather cunning.

 

“Have a nice trip, then.” She tells the girl and hugs her tightly, and the child and her great-grandmother board the train. The two parents continue to wave after them until the train is out of sight and once Uta chuckles at the expression on his wife’s face.

 

“If you’re like this now when she’s just going away for a week, how will you do when she actually moves out?”

 

“Don’t even mention it.” Rei groans as she turns on her heel and begins the trek back to their apartment. “I’m dreading the day when she brings home a boy- or girlfriend.”

 

“Boyfriend?” She looks up and back at Uta, whose eyes have closed and he’s grinning way to widely at her, like a fox.

 

“What boyfriend?”

 

“Oh, you’re going to be that kind of a dad, are you?” She shakes her head and leaves him behind. When he doesn’t catch up to her immediately, she looks over her shoulder to see him typing furiously on his phone.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“Coming up with a contingency plan with Renji-kun.”

 

“Put that phone down right now!” Rei exclaims and he looks up, eyes wide.

 

“You’re a grown man, act like it! One day she will get a lover, and you’ll just have to accept that. Just like I’ll have to accept that she’ll move out and live on her own.” He sighs and pockets his phone, and she turns around, heading towards their home again. His phone vibrates and he discreetly pulls it out, seeing a text from Renji.

 

_I’m in._

“Are you coming?” Rei’s crossed her arms, regarding him with a raised brow.

 

“Yes yes.” The moment they’ve closed the door behind them, Rei tugs on his arm.

 

“Neh, Uta-kun.” He blinks, surprised by the sudden use of a suffix at the end of his name. When was the last time she did that? When they were still attending university? How many years ago is that? It is strange, but not unpleasant.

 

“Yes?”

 

“I want another one.” The confession catches him off-guard and his tongue doesn’t quite cooperate with his brain as he answers.

 

“Y-yeah okay?” She blinks up at him, before she giggles at the rather undignified response.

 

“Did you just _stutter_?”

 

“You caught me off guard!”

 

“You’re actually- how long has it been since _you_ were the one flustered?” She laughs, then dodges the arm swiping out to catch her as she makes a beeline for the living room, though he catches up quickly and hoist her up in the air. She shrieks as she tries to wiggle free, but he’s got an iron grip on her. She pleads for him to let her down, but he refuses to, telling her that laughing at him like that was mean. Before more can be said or done, the doorbell rings. Both of the residents blinks, before looking at each other.

 

“Are you expecting anyone today?” Rei asks but Uta shakes his head as he lets her down.

 

“No, are you?”

 

“No.” She replies, but moves into the hall and opens the door. She nearly does a double take at the person she sees on the other side, not quite sure if she’s actually seeing right. The resemblance is… striking, really.

 

“Excuse me, does a Yamagata Uta live here?” The person asks, and Rei nods, moving aside and gesturing for the man to come in. He smiles gratefully, bowing his head, before entering. She leads him into the living room, where Uta stands exactly where she left him and even his eyes widen slightly.

 

“You were looking for me?” The tone of voice he uses tells Rei that he’s never actually met this person either.

 

“Yes.” Both men stare at each other for a moment and even before their unexpected guest speaks again, Rei thinks it is absolutely impossible for these two to resemble each other so much and not be related.

 

“Forgive me for intruding. My name is Washu-Furuta Souta.” He seems to hesitate a bit before continuing, looking a bit hesitant.

 

“I’m sorry for bursting it out like this with no preparation or even a forward call, but I’ve always wanted to meet you, Yamagata-san. I’m… I’m your half-brother.” Rei blinks, and Uta’s mouth parts slightly.

 

“… What?”


End file.
